# Diamonds Are Forever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 9, 2019, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213 "2019-11-09T18:56:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2019, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/1 "2019-11-09T18:56:58Z")
‘My name is Bond - James Bond’. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile…sometimes ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/2 "2019-11-09T18:59:54Z")
Ooh, sparklies. Did you say something? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2019, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/3 "2019-11-09T19:21:59Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > ‘My name is Bond - James Bond’. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile…sometimes Is it true? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/4 "2019-11-10T16:39:22Z")
You need to say it like he does in “Doctor No”, that’ll work. Dennis ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/5 "2019-11-10T17:41:55Z")
I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying “My name is Bond, Tom Bond.” He said no. I think you don’t deserve to have that name if you don’t use it properly. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/6 "2019-11-10T18:02:06Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying “My name is Bond, Tom Bond.” He said no. I think you don’t deserve to have that name if you don’t use it properly. At the very least, hire a petite brunette to constantly announce you. _‘A man comes,’_ she could declare; _‘he travels quickly; he has purpose; he comes over water; he travels with others; he will oppose; he brings violence and destruction.’_ ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/7 "2019-11-10T19:14:26Z")
I’ve a cousin who does the “My name is…” gag quite well but she’s in community theatre and standup. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/8 "2019-11-10T19:39:13Z")
I’m sure Bill Saluga has trouble with that line. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/9 "2019-11-10T20:15:42Z")
My previous passport ended in -007. When asked for my passport number, I would always pronounce it “double-oh-seven.” Sadly, my present one is more prosaic. The original James Bond, from whom Fleming took the name, was an ornithologist at the Philadelphia Academy of Natural Sciences. I once had a grant from the James Bond Fund, allowing me to tell people I was funded by James Bond. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/10 "2019-11-10T21:39:29Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > I once worked with a guy named Tom Bond. I asked him if he ever introduced himself by saying “My name is Bond, Tom Bond.” He said no. I think you don’t deserve to have that name if you don’t use it properly. I once met a young (late teens) chap whose name was James Bond. He was quite a slight, shy bloke who I sensed had had so much ribbing over the years I made a special effort not to acknowledge the elephant-name in the room. Given he couldn’t have been born any earlier than 1985, his parents had no excuse. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2019, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/11 "2019-11-10T21:51:38Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > You need to say it like he does in “Doctor No”, that’ll work. > > Dennis Looking like a young Sean Connery probably also helps. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/12 "2019-11-11T15:04:01Z")
I didn’t know there was a pool down there. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/13 "2019-11-11T16:59:32Z")
My cellphone number is (xxx)xxx-x666. I’ve gotten very good at giving my number to accentuate the sixes. A surprising number of jaws drop. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/14 "2019-11-11T17:23:24Z")
“Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger?” “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/15 "2019-11-11T17:26:57Z")
“This never happened to the other fella.” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/16 "2019-11-11T21:16:15Z")
> [@Cabin\_Fever](#): > > ‘My name is Bond - James Bond’. I have tried this line at various venues and countries-it results in a smile…sometimes From my experience, it’s never the mature, well-adjusted people who smile. Seriously, my name fits an old Monty Python-esque routine, and I thought it was soooo clever to adapt it when I introduced myself. As soon as I gained a modicum of self-awareness, I realized that people were smiling the way you would at a frat boy punching your shoulder and laughing “Howzit hangin’, workin’ hard or hardly workin’?” So I’d say if your name really is James Bond, give it up. Maybe go by Jim, or J. Robert Bond. And, wow, if your name isn’t… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2019, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diamonds-are-forever/843213/17 "2019-11-11T21:43:58Z")
> [@glee](#): > > “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.” Now that’s a line I have used whenever someone phrases a question with “Do you expect. . .” It gets a response, all right. But never the one I hope for.