# Dick or SportsCar. you decide. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639 "2001-04-20T04:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/1 "2001-04-20T04:38:02Z")
So I got to thinking, people mention that you get a sports car to compensate for small genetilia, but there are a lot of differences between the two. I don’t think it’s really an accurate analogy. [ul] [li]I don’t have to stick keys in my dick to get it running.[/li][li]If someone sees my dick on the street they don’t run up to it and admire it.[/li][li]Spilling coffee on my dick is a lot worse than spilling it on a sports car[/li][li]I still haven’t decided which would be worse, running into a semi at 60 mph with my dick, or running into a semi at 60 mph with my sports car.[/li][li]If my dick gets scratched, it doesn’t need a new paintjob.[/li][li]Having people sit on my dick is much more enjoyable than having them sit on my sports car.[/li][li]Likewise, having people kick my sports car is preferable to having them kick my dick.[/li][li]While people brag about big dicks, they don’t brag about how fast they can fuck.[/li][li]While people brag about fast sports cars, they don’t brag about how big it is[/li][li]I don’t have to worry about people stealing my dick in bad areas of town.[/li][/ul] I’ll think of more tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/2 "2001-04-20T04:40:02Z")
Burning rubber with my dick doesn’t cost as much as doing it with a sportscar. ---
**Author:** ![ghandi5569](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@ghandi5569](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ghandi5569)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/3 "2001-04-20T05:16:51Z")
With a sportscar you have to replace parts every so many thousands of miles–new tires, belts, brakes, paint, windshields, bumpers, etc. (Maybe I’m just a bad driver.) With a dick, you only have to replace the condom after you’ve gotten some pleasure out of it. ``` *** ``` It’s a lot cheaper to buy underwear to keep your dick in than to pay for a garage to keep your sportscar in. ``` *** ``` You don’t have to insure your dick to use it. However, your dick doesn’t come with extended warrenty options. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/4 "2001-04-20T05:44:55Z")
Using a sportscar when drunk can kill people, while using a dick while drunk can create them. ---
**Author:** ![OldMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b2d939/32.png) [@OldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/5 "2001-04-20T06:08:11Z")
The amount of alcohol you’ve consumed won’t affect whether or not your sports car will work. And just to put in the other side of this: my wife (I’m not taking credit for this idea) thinks that Corvettes, as a matter of law, should all be flesh coloured, with veins on them. Needless to say, I do not own a Corvette. But I’d like to. Silver though, not flesh coloured. Dick of steel…or is it fiberglass? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/6 "2001-04-20T08:00:48Z")
Corvette: Mostly Fiberglass, with steel laminates. ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/7 "2001-04-20T10:47:36Z")
ROTFLMAO. 😃 Great, **OldMan**. Now I can’t get that image of a big throbbing veined flesh coloured car out of my head. I’m adding little curly hairs around the tail lights, too. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/8 "2001-04-20T11:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > **If someone sees my dick on the street they don’t run up to it and admire it.** Well, maybe not for _you_. Just don’t think this applies as a universal rule, buddy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/9 "2001-04-20T11:32:56Z")
You don’t have to make monthly payments on your dick. And if you do, they can’t reposess it if you stop. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/10 "2001-04-20T12:51:57Z")
I had to read this one twice: Likewise, having people kick my sportscar is preferable to having people kick my dick. I had to read it twice because the first time I thought it said “lick,” not kick, and I thought “This guy likes his car way, way too much.” On a sports car you can put the top up, or take the top down. This only works on your dick if you’re uncircumsized. After completing its prime mission, your sports car will continue to run. It won’t want you to roll over and take a nap. If your sports car gets cold it doesn’t shrink. It is not a good thing when fluids are spurting out of your sports car. I will never look at a Corvette the same way again. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/11 "2001-04-20T14:01:23Z")
There are similarities, though. For instance: \*If you take either to a professional for servicing it’s gonna cost big bucks. \*Sometimes a friend may be willing to provide the servicing for free, or in return for other favors. \*Both are very quick to respond; the most gentle input elicits an immediate reponse. \*Most men don’t know how, or never get the chance, to use either to its fullest capacity. \*Anything more than needed to accomplish the task is wasted. \*Men tend to have a pet name for it. \*Though the vast majority of men will never have the nicest one, the vast majority of women don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/12 "2001-04-20T14:08:20Z")
Oh, and: \*Performing service yourself is an option, but having someone help almost always makes the experience more enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/13 "2001-04-20T15:18:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > > **If someone sees my dick on the street they don’t run up to it and admire it.** > > Well, maybe not for _you_. Just don’t think this applies as a universal rule, buddy. 😉 \*\* Yeah, but if they’re only comparing it to a 1981 LeDick with 200,000 miles on it what’s to compare? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/14 "2001-04-20T15:45:09Z")
You can wash your sports car in public. If you do successfully attract chicks with a sports car, you’ve got room for three without having to have any special skills, whereas with the dick… ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/15 "2001-04-20T16:57:55Z")
Both are available with a ragtop. Both function best when properly lubricated. A woman doesn’t have the foggiest idea how to handle either one. (_d&r&h_) ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/16 "2001-04-20T17:08:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OldMan \* > \*\*The amount of alcohol you’ve consumed won’t affect whether or not your sports car will work. > \*\* … but it WILL affect how you use both your sports car and your dick. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dick-or-sportscar-you-decide/62639/17 "2001-04-20T17:42:00Z")
[ul][_]Sports cars come in many colors, dicks usually only cum in one.[_]Most women don’t know how to handle a sports car, so men won’t let them. Men will let almost any woman handle their dick, regardless of skill.[_]Sports cars don’t have to be exciting to get where you’re going. Dicks kinda work better if they are excited before you start.[_]You can fit four women comfortably in a sports car, but you can only fit about three dicks in a woman (and usually only two comfortably.)Most men will comment openly about another mans sports car.[/ul]