# Did Al Haig really threaten to wax Kissinger's glasses? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879 "2006-08-23T13:20:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/41 "2006-08-26T00:56:02Z")
“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make your _ancestors_ dizzy!” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/42 "2006-08-26T03:03:52Z")
Heard by fly on wall: > [@](#): > > To, the **moon** , Henry!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/43 "2006-08-26T03:20:18Z")
He fluffed his Garfield? (ten points to whoever gets that ref) ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/44 "2006-08-26T05:53:03Z")
Take him on a trip to Knuckle Junction? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/45 "2006-08-26T12:27:29Z")
Kick him right in the old (Lyndon Baines) Johnson? ---
**Author:** ![srmclauren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@srmclauren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srmclauren)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/46 "2006-08-26T15:18:27Z")
[QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] Can’t believe no one has said this one yet: Hoist him by his own petard! 😃 [/QUOTE] Sounds very descriptive, even explosive, like maybe a terrorist threat. Does he even have a petard to be hoisted by? Let’s see if he could. I’ll try not to be too fastidious. Petard - 1. Charge d’explosif placee dans une enveloppe, qu’on utilise pour detruire des obstacles, comme dispositif de signalisation acoustique ou en pyrotechnie. 2. Bruit, tapage. 3. Revolver. 4. Derriere (This one wasn’t in the Webster’s Collegiate.) Aha! With no.4 we have something that he has (or is) that he could be hoisted by, but it loses something of the idiom in the translation. peter - faire un pet, lacher du vent pet - Gaz intestinal qui s’echappe de l’anus avec bruit (noise) Like Lucy he could have given him 5 good reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/47 "2006-08-26T18:43:32Z")
Flogged his dolphin? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/48 "2006-08-26T18:56:27Z")
[QUOTE=srmclauren] Sounds very descriptive, even explosive, like maybe a terrorist threat. Does he even have a petard to be hoisted by? Let’s see if he could. I’ll try not to be too fastidious. Petard - 1. Charge d’explosif placee dans une enveloppe, qu’on utilise pour detruire des obstacles, comme dispositif de signalisation acoustique ou en pyrotechnie. 2. Bruit, tapage. 3. Revolver. 4. Derriere (This one wasn’t in the Webster’s Collegiate.) Aha! With no.4 we have something that he has (or is) that he could be hoisted by, but it loses something of the idiom in the translation. peter - faire un pet, lacher du vent pet - Gaz intestinal qui s’echappe de l’anus avec bruit (noise) Like Lucy he could have given him 5 good reasons. [/QUOTE] The third return on google gives us the [Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_295b.html). ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/49 "2006-08-27T04:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=Master Wang-Ka] Considering Al Haig practically tried to commandeer the White House when Reagan got shot, I’m not sure I’d take his word for a whole lot… [/QUOTE] Commandeer? For crying out loud, Haig believed (wrongly) that he was in charge for a few hours until Vice President Bush got back to the White House. In those few hours, what exactly did Haig try to do? NOTHING, except try to reassure the public that everything was okay. For THAT, you act as if he staged a freaking coup. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2006, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/50 "2006-08-27T04:59:06Z")
Henry must have been cruisin’ for a bruisin’. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/51 "2006-08-28T05:14:22Z")
He probably threatened Kissinger with fifty lashes with a wet noodle. Or a fish-smacking. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879/52 "2006-08-28T05:15:25Z")
He threatened to open up a can of whup-jaw? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-al-haig-really-threaten-to-wax-kissingers-glasses/369879.md?page=2)