# Did anybody ever raise their wife's libido? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 16, 2010, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891 "2010-07-16T09:48:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ladymarmalade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@Ladymarmalade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ladymarmalade)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/1 "2010-07-16T09:48:26Z")
Just wondering, has anybody ever done anything that worked to make their wife want sex more often, or have any women ever raised their libido themselves? If so, what did you do? ---
**Author:** ![Ladymarmalade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@Ladymarmalade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ladymarmalade)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/2 "2010-07-16T10:54:30Z")
Wondering if any guy has ever done anything that made his wife want more sex. Or if any women have raised their own libido and if so, how? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/3 "2010-07-16T11:40:54Z")
Okay, now this is radical, and might be TMI, but it works for me. If I do the laundry and clean the kitchen (or any other little chores around the house she usually feels responsible for), and actually listen to her in the evening when she wants to vent about her day instead of staring at the TV, she is ready to go every time. You can try this, only not with my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/4 "2010-07-16T11:44:12Z")
Dressed up like Antonio Banderas in Zorro. ---
**Author:** ![Laudenum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Laudenum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laudenum)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/5 "2010-07-16T11:45:57Z")
Anyone else feel that Great Debates is less…great, recently? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/6 "2010-07-16T11:47:26Z")
> [@Ladymarmalade](#): > > \*\*How do you increase your wife’s libido? \*\* Twirl the adjustment knobs on the twin modules extending from her upper chassis. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/7 "2010-07-16T11:48:01Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Dressed up like Antonio Banderas in Zorro. Wait, how is that different then just dressing up like Zorro? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/8 "2010-07-16T11:49:14Z")
Hmmm, I just noticed this is [posted in General Questions too](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12691152#post12691152). ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/9 "2010-07-16T11:55:56Z")
I mostly raise other people’s wife’s libido by pointing at her uterus and saying “BOOYA!” ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/10 "2010-07-16T11:57:33Z")
Yes. 1. Listen to what she says. Really listen, not just nod your head or try to come up with quick solutions. Care about it and pay attention. 2. Give a lot of compliments. What you consider a lot is probably below the bare minimum. A lot means give compliments several times per day, every day. It’s not something you do once and it’s done, it’s like food and water. Is her dress nice? Say it. Did she do something that you liked? Say it. Nothing specific come to min? Remind her that you love her. 3. Be good in bed. It’s something you can get better at, nobody is perfect. Try to figure out what she likes and when she likes it. And vary yourself. Sometimes a quickie is perfect, sometimes a 1 hour seduction is what is called for. It’s a process that never ends, and it’s a great process. My experience is that if you do this the womans libido will often out grow yours. She will drop hints or be direct about that she wants sex. In my current relationship I would say that I initiate maybe a third of the sex. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/11 "2010-07-16T12:21:44Z")
There are medical approaches, if this is a medical problem. [Cite](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/low-sex-drive-in-women/DS01043/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs). If it is non-medical, generally work on the relationship. I think you should probably ask her. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/12 "2010-07-16T12:24:37Z")
I slap a testosterone patch on her while she’s not looking. It works much better than actually helping around the house. But I make sure to pull it off before the moustache comes in too thick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Punisher\_11B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9de0a6/32.png) [@Punisher\_11B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punisher_11B)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/13 "2010-07-16T12:25:18Z")
whiskey makes some men want to fight, it makes some women want anal sex. This came up in a conversation we had at a cookout once at my camp with a bunch of friends. And some of the guys said that they have tried it and it worked, and even a few of the women admitted it. I don’t know how true it is. I have never tried this on my wife, but thats just what came up by the fire. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/14 "2010-07-16T12:29:15Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > Yes. > > 1. Listen to what she says. Really listen, not just nod your head or try to come up with quick solutions. Care about it and pay attention. > > 2. Give a lot of compliments. What you consider a lot is probably below the bare minimum. A lot means give compliments several times per day, every day. It’s not something you do once and it’s done, it’s like food and water. Is her dress nice? Say it. Did she do something that you liked? Say it. Nothing specific come to min? Remind her that you love her. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/15 "2010-07-16T12:34:08Z")
> [@Stoneburg](#): > > 1. Be good in bed. It’s something you can get better at, nobody is perfect. Try to figure out what she likes and when she likes it. And vary yourself. Sometimes a quickie is perfect, sometimes a 1 hour seduction is what is called for. It’s a process that never ends, and it’s a great process. And what does _she_ do, on the other hand ? Does she learn about your prostate ? Does she learn that a cock is not a crank machine you soullessly shake ? Of course not, it would be patriarchal for her to do, booooo. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/16 "2010-07-16T12:49:08Z")
Sure…although probably not with your husband (“you” in this case meaning any husband and not this poster’s husband in particular…assuming the poster is a woman). ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/17 "2010-07-16T12:56:31Z")
Leave. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/18 "2010-07-16T13:04:11Z")
I find your wife’s libido to be more than adequate already, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/19 "2010-07-16T13:10:09Z")
That’s why I left. ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891/20 "2010-07-16T13:21:28Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > …If I do the laundry and clean the kitchen (or any other little chores around the house she usually feels responsible for), and actually listen to her in the evening when she wants to vent about her day instead of staring at the TV, she is ready to go every time… Woman here. This truly gets me hotter too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-anybody-ever-raise-their-wifes-libido/546891.md?page=2)