# Did Columbus really make his voyage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761 "2001-03-04T23:50:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/1 "2001-03-04T23:50:34Z")
There was this special on Fox last week, about how Columbus never really sailed to America. He really left Spain, sailed around a bit, got lost, landed off Calais, in France, and then went back to Spain, claiming to have found islands in the New World. But it was all a hoax, perpetrated by that wily Isabella. First, you look at the photos and pictures of Colombus landing on what is supposed to be America. The sun is rising over the land in every photo! Now, if it were really America, the sun would be rising over the water, in the east. But if it were France, then the sun would be rising over the land, just like in the photos! Second, notice that Columbus is walking on the sand. Careful analysis of that sand will show that it is not, in fact, Caribbean sand but French sand. Careful analysis of the grains will show this. Furthermore, Columbus’s footprints on the sand are of someone wearing shoes. However, Columbus’s diary documents clearly that he TOOK OFF HIS BOOTS before wading ashore. So those footprints in the sand are clearly fake. This is all a huge conspiracy on the part of the government of Spain to pretend that they should have owned much of South America. And this fraud has been perpetrated for hundreds of years! All those folks in South America and the Carribean who speak Spanish should rightly be speaking FRENCH. Or maybe Norwegian. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/2 "2001-03-05T00:07:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*There was this special on Fox last week, > \*\* Isn’t that the same network that gave us the NASA/moon-landing hoax… :rolleyes: Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/4 "2001-03-05T00:24:56Z")
You’ve certainly got me convinced, **Dex**. Of course, the supposed “Indians” he brought back with him obviously were of French origin too. Southern France, but France nonetheless. But isn’t this in the wrong forum? There’s no question here that I can see; you and Fox are obviously correct. IMHO, there’s not even a legitimate debate here. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/5 "2001-03-05T00:31:29Z")
Am I missing something or has **Dex** been into the sauce? Did this program really occur? Mods!! Please move this thread into MPSIMS or The PIT. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/6 "2001-03-05T00:34:09Z")
Of course it didn’t. This is a pretty cute take-off on the Fox moon-hoax special. A little too obvious in places, but fine work nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/7 "2001-03-05T00:43:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Danielinthedoghouse \* > \*\*If it was a trick, it was a good one. For his second voyage, he got 100 ships to accompany him. That’s a lot of people in a conspiracy. \*\* Let the countdown begin : 3… ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/8 "2001-03-05T00:44:06Z")
That Fox–always getting things messed up. For example, in tonight’s episode of Futurama, Bender identifies Leela as “human”, if you can believe that! Instead of watching mind-rotting television, a better way to occupy your time is to read classic _Straight Dope_ columns. For example, I think you’d find [Why was America named after Amerigo Vespucci?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_021.html) both timely and informative. (It’s from _The Straight Dope Tells All_, in case they have a bookstore in the town where you live.) ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/9 "2001-03-05T01:02:47Z")
…2… ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/10 "2001-03-05T01:16:01Z")
Can we get a mod in here? This is **OBVIOUSLY** in the wrong forum! **C K Dexter Haven** , do this again and everyone will go “nanie nanie boo-boo” at you! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/11 "2001-03-05T06:22:08Z")
> [@](#): > > First, you look at the photos and pictures of Colombus landing on what is supposed to be America. The sun is rising over the land in every photo! Now, if it were really America, the sun would be rising over the water, in the east. But if it were France, then the sun would be rising over the land, just like in the photos! I was watching _The Green Berets_ last night and the sun rose in the wrong direction, just like it did for Columbus. The conclusion is obvious; Columbus landed in Vietnam. Which means he really did sail to Asia and America doesn’t really exist. Which means there is no place called the United States of America and John Kennedy couldn’t have been President of a fictituous country. So Oswald obviously couldn’t have been guilty of killing President Kennedy. It all ties together; proof positive that the Spanish Inquisition was behind the assassination cover-up. ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/12 "2001-03-05T09:56:04Z")
You know, I can’t help but think that if someone other than an administrator did this, they would be promptly thrashed by a mod. ---
**Author:** ![Ned](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Ned](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ned)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/13 "2001-03-05T10:28:27Z")
Hehe… he should still get trashed. Columbus never made it to america but he did invent photography on the trip which so impressed his benefactors that the next more successful expedition was undertaken anyway. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/14 "2001-03-05T13:43:04Z")
The only thing that surprises me about this thread is the number of posters who apparently couldn’t see that it was intended as a parody, or who have to make some serious comment about the choice of forum (which, admittedly, is a bit on the bizzare side for a moderator…). Columbus didn’t reach the Western Hemisphere because he would have fallen off the edge had he tried. Everyone knows the world is flat, geesh. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/15 "2001-03-05T14:30:41Z")
DS, yeah, I kept scrolling down waiting to see a WHOOSH. Strange. Funny thread, CK Dex. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/16 "2001-03-05T15:16:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\* All those folks in South America and the Carribean who speak Spanish should rightly be speaking FRENCH. Or maybe Norwegian. > \*\* Fnord. or is that Fjord. Off to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/17 "2001-03-05T22:39:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sigene \* > You know, I can’t help but think that if someone other than an administrator did this, they would be promptly thrashed by a mod. He was thrashed, but privately. His bum is black and blue and his thumbs are in a cast. Let that be a warning to you! I do agree with this statement however: _All those folks in South America and the Carribean who speak Spanish should rightly be speaking FRENCH._ And everyone in the USA should be speaking french too, instead of this hideous expletive-laden perverted version of german that some people call english. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/18 "2001-03-05T23:01:50Z")
But Arnold, they _did speak French_. Until CPO Chris Coulomb was transported back to the year 1492 during a mishap in the time-travel experiments performed off of Norfolk, VA in 1942. Don’t you see it? 1492… _1942!_ When he discovered that the French were on the verge of North America, he shammed his way into command of a small expedition and got there first, thus saving America from only occasional bathing and Galloises. [Citation](http://www.wincom.net/softarts/philexp.html) [Citation](http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq21-2.htm) [Citation](http://www.liquidpoop.com/diarrhea.nsf/Drawing?OpenForm) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/19 "2001-03-05T23:18:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DSYoungEsq \* > **The only thing that surprises me about this thread is the number of posters who apparently couldn’t see that it was intended as a parody, or who have to make some serious comment about the choice of forum (which, admittedly, is a bit on the bizzare side for a moderator…).** Seeing some of the names involved, I wouldn’t want to make a bet on which ones actually didn’t get it, and which were just playing along (and some of whom seem to have whooshed _you_, BTW ;)). And Dex is no mere _moderator_, he’s an ADMINISTRATOR, just one rank down from Cecil himself. ---
**Author:** ![Darwinself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Darwinself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwinself)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/20 "2001-03-06T20:31:26Z")
First I’ll Grant you that Ck is a troublemaker. But I must admit I believe Columbus really made the voyage. After all, he was a man with no map who stumbled around until he landed somewhere and then said that was where he meant to go all along. not So sweet Judith Lorraine ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761/21 "2001-03-06T23:02:26Z")
Sofaking, while your first two links served to promote your theory, the last link had me slightly 😕 Also why would we want to be saved from welsh women? Or were you referring to the noxious cigarettes in the blue package? Then that would be Ga **u** loises. See, if Louis XIV had had his way, you would have known how to spell that correctly. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-columbus-really-make-his-voyage/56761.md?page=2)