# Did Dear Abby just say what I think she said **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737 "2005-06-17T19:04:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/1 "2005-06-17T19:04:44Z")
I usually read _Dear Abby_ each morning for a laugh. But in today’s column, she seems to have come up with a very un-ladylike risque zinger almost worthy of Cecil himself. The odd thing is that the key sentence doesn’t appear in [today’s online column](http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/). As published in my copy of today’s _Miami Herald_ (International Edition), the answer to the first question reads: > [@](#): > > DEAR HAD ENOUGH: Whether or not your marriage is salvageable is up to your husband. You married a man with an impossible, domineering and hostile mother. Forget that it takes “two to tango.” Because Simon hasn’t accepted his own responsibility in the conception of this child, he has allowed his mother to portray you as the tramp who tricked him into fatherhood. There is nothing you can do. It’s up to Simon to deal with his mother. **However, it appears that both of his balls are in her court.** Unless he’s willing to confront the problem, get marriage counseling with you and ACT on it, nothing will change. The sentence in bold doesn’t appear in the on-line edition. So what gives? Has anyone else seen this in their local editions? Or did some prankster at the _Herald_ manage to hijack the type-setting program? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/2 "2005-06-17T19:08:42Z")
That sentence is not in the _Rocky Mountain News_. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/3 "2005-06-17T19:08:48Z")
Rats. I meant this to be in MPSIMS. If someone would report it to a mod (I can’t report my own post) I would appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/4 "2005-06-17T19:15:12Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Rats. I meant this to be in MPSIMS. If someone would report it to a mod (I can’t report my own post) I would appreciate it. You can report anyone else’s post in the thread and ask via that. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/5 "2005-06-17T19:18:37Z")
Reported. I’m gonna have to start reading this gal. That was quite the volley. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/6 "2005-06-17T19:22:41Z")
It appears [here](http://www.theday.com/eng/web/news/re.aspx?re=76DBD566-3232-474A-B71B-3BA128312739) as well. A MASSIVE copyediting job by individual newspapers? Possible, especially if the distributor sent out an advisory with the column. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/7 "2005-06-17T19:30:39Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I usually read _Dear Abby_ each morning for a laugh. Me, too. 🙂 > [@](#): > > So what gives? Has anyone else seen this in their local editions? Or did some prankster at the _Herald_ manage to hijack the type-setting program? It’s not in the San Jose Merc (Knight-Ridder). ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/8 "2005-06-17T19:36:31Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I’m gonna have to start reading this gal. That was quite the volley. Stop making a racket over this. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/9 "2005-06-17T19:37:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Stop making a racket over this. Oh, there is no love. ---
**Author:** ![cabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/10 "2005-06-17T19:45:07Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > The sentence in bold doesn’t appear in the on-line edition. Apparently not available on the net. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/11 "2005-06-17T19:46:20Z")
Yes, yes I did; however, I hardly think you know me well enough to start calling me “Dear.” :dubious: On a serious note, isn’t the collumn being largely written by (the other) Abby’s daughter these days? Perhaps that accounts for the zinger. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/12 "2005-06-17T19:48:37Z")
The deuce you say! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/13 "2005-06-17T19:52:52Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > On a serious note, isn’t the collumn being largely written by (the other) Abby’s daughter these days? Perhaps that accounts for the zinger. Yes. From the on-line edition: > [@](#): > > Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. It is the most popular and widely syndicated column in the world – known for its uncommon common sense \*\*and youthful perspective. > \*\* Bolding mine. Perhaps this an opening salvo in Jeanne’s youth campaign. Maybe Pauline has been napping enough lately to let it get by her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/14 "2005-06-17T20:12:47Z")
The news distribution agency I work for currently shows 10 newspapers that carried today’s Dear Abby column: Deseret Morning News, Monterey County Herald, Sun-News, Duluth News-Tribune, The Sun Herald (Biloxi, MS), Belleville News-Democrat (IL), Wichita Eagle (KS), The Kansas City Star, Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Daily News. None of the articles contain the “balls” line. It would seem that different publications edit the column to suit their tastes (and space constraints). The articles run in length from 330 to 697 words. For example, some articles open with _I married “Simon,” a year ago_, while some open with _I married the love of my life, “Simon,” a year ago_. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/15 "2005-06-17T20:18:32Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Maybe Pauline has been napping enough lately to let it get by her. 🙂 As I recall, Pauline suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, so she may not be aware of the progress of the column. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/16 "2005-06-17T20:25:28Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > As I recall, Pauline suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, so she may not be aware of the progress of the column. ☹ I wasn’t aware. Sorry for the levity on that score, then. ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/17 "2005-06-17T20:31:44Z")
The line does appear in the _Boulder Daily Camera_. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/18 "2005-06-17T21:43:05Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > As I recall, Pauline suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, so she may not be aware of the progress of the column. ☹ IIRC, Pauline’s gone to that great newspaper in the sky, so “napping” in the sense of “dirt nap” still works. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/19 "2005-06-17T21:48:39Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > IIRC, Pauline’s gone to that great newspaper in the sky, so “napping” in the sense of “dirt nap” still works. You are, I think, confusing her with her twin sister “Ann Landers,” (Esther Pauline “Eppie” Friedman Lederer), who died 3 years ago. “Abigail Van Buren” is/was Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737/20 "2005-06-17T21:49:10Z")
We need to figure out whose fault this is! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-dear-abby-just-say-what-i-think-she-said/308737.md?page=2)