# Did I just perform a Turing Test? (Online customer service)

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 12, 2008, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283 "2008-11-12T01:49:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/1 "2008-11-12T01:49:11Z")

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> [@my dialogue with "Rachael"](#):
>
> Frylock : This notebook comes with a lightscribe capable cd/dvd writer. However, I can not find software on the machine to use the lightscribe feature. Do I need to install 3rd party, or am I just not seeing whatever was preinstalled on the machine?
> 
> system: An agent will be with you shortly  
> system: You are now chatting with Rachael
> 
> Rachael : Hello Frylock.  
> Frylock : Hi Rachael  
> Rachael : Welcome to (the customer service department of our company).  
> Frylock : Thankya  
> Rachael : You are welcome.  
> Rachael : How are you doing Frylock?  
> Frylock : Fine.  
> Rachael : Thats great.

Long pause. Maybe I should have given more of a friendly chat or something…

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : From the above statement, I understand that you are unable to find the software for your Lightscribe CD/DVd drive. am I right?  
> Frylock : I did find the lightscribe control panel, but it doesn’t appear that this is the software I am supposed to use to actually label cds. I can’t find the software I am supposed to use for that.  
> Rachael : Do not worry, I will assist you in this regard.  
> Rachael : Could you please provide me the Serial Number and Product Number of your Notebook? You may find that on a sticker attached to the underside of the Notebook.  
> Frylock : Will take a second brb  
> Rachael : Sure, Take your time.  
> Frylock : [gives information]

Really, was this really necessary? I tell myself maybe this is to confirm I am an actual owner of one of their machines or something, though I could have just found random numbers somewhere online I’m sure.

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : Thank you for the information.  
> Rachael : May I know the pre- installed operating system installed on your Notebook. Is it XP or Vista?  
> Frylock : Vist  
> Frylock : a  
> Rachael : Thank you for the information.  
> Rachael : Could I take 2-3 minutes of your time while I look for the information?  
> Frylock : Yeah.  
> Rachael : Thank you.  
> Rachael : Just to confirm, Do you have the recovery partition on your notebook?  
> Frylock : Yes

Uh oh.

This is like one of those customer service stories I hear from others, others whom, I must confess, I never quite believe.

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : Kris, You install the cyberlink from the recovery partion Kris.  
> Frylock : I’m sorry?  
> Frylock : cyberlink?  
> Rachael : I apologise for the above statement.

Right. Because what I really wanted was an apology. And nothing else. No clarification, just an apology…

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : You can find the light scribe software in the recovery partition.

No. Way.

But I play along.

> [@](#):
>
> Frylock : okay hang on a sec while I go find it. Was it supposed to be preinstalled, or am I supposed to have to go find it on the recovery partition like this?  
> Rachael : Yes it is preinstalled on the recovery partition.

:p:p:p

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : Please check it whether you are able to find the Light scribe software in the recovery partiion.  
> Frylock : Am trying to explore recovery partition and am recieving a message that says “don’t mess with this stuff” – and no apparent way to open files in the partition.  
> Rachael : Thank you for the confirmation.

What did I confirm exactly?

> [@](#):
>
> Rachael : Just to confirm, Did you created the recovery DVD’s frpm the recovery partition?  
> Frylock : No, I do not have recovery DVDs yet.

Where _exactly_ is she going with this?!

> [@](#):
>
> Frylock : I did a search for “cyberlink” using Vista’s search feature and found it, all installed and ready to go. Thanks for your help.

Long, long, long pause.

> [@](#):
>
> Frylock : I’m going to go now.  
> Rachael : You are welcome.  
> Rachael : Is there anything else that I may assist you with today?  
> Frylock : No, thanks.

Just. Wow.

As soon as she saw my initial summary, she just needed to say “It’s called Cyberlink, type that into Vista’s search feature and it should come up” or words to that effect.

I don’t blame “Rachael,” since she is either a machine and therefore incapable of being blamed for anything, or else is a human being being required to follow some really bizarre rules.

But by making these rules, what are these organizations actually trying to accomplish? It is clear they are not trying to accomplish the solution of actual problems.

-FrL-

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### Author: ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/2 "2008-11-12T03:36:10Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Mongo : Rachael is my sibling unit.  
> Mongo : May I know if you have a problem with that?

nm

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### Author: ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/3 "2008-11-12T03:51:28Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> As soon as she saw my initial summary, she just needed to say “It’s called Cyberlink, type that into Vista’s search feature and it should come up” or words to that effect.

Well, see, you type sexy (SEXAY!) and she just wanted to spend more time with you.

Or she’s a bot.

Or both! SEXAY!

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### Author: ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/4 "2008-11-12T03:52:29Z")

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I’ve had one of those conversations too (for a telco service signup, IIRC), and was similarly baffled. I guess it makes sense for AI to adopt the overpolite vernacular of an Indian call center employee, since they’re already so eerily robotic…

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### Author: ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/5 "2008-11-12T09:06:16Z")

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For what it’s worth, when I worked at Microsoft, I had a couple of conversations exactly like this with actual live people answering the phone on the internal IT helpdesk late-night shift. It was like talking to an eliza bot: “My DNS is not working.” “Thank you for informing me that your DNS is not working. \<pause\> I will now try to help you with the fact that your DNS is not working. \<long pause while looking up the next line\> Here are some steps to try to resolve the problem with DNS…”

It’s infuriating, and somehow it’s extra infuriating that they can be so aggressively annoying while being perfectly polite.

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### Author: ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/6 "2008-11-12T12:15:05Z")

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Jeez, stop your bitchin’. What she did actually worked, which is a better outcome than you could reasonably hope for. 😛

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### Author: ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/7 "2008-11-12T14:31:43Z")

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> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> What she did actually worked,

What do you mean? She was going to have me rummage around in the recovery partition (which is as far as I can tell inaccessible) or the recovery DVDs (which to my memory can’t be explored but only used to recover the system) to find a program which was right there already installed on my system.

I was the one who solved my own problem during the course of the call.

-FrL-

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### Author: ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/8 "2008-11-12T17:56:02Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> I don’t blame “Rachael,” since she is either a machine and therefore incapable of being blamed for anything, or else is a human being being required to follow some really bizarre rules.
> 
> But by making these rules, what are these organizations actually trying to accomplish? It is clear they are not trying to accomplish the solution of actual problems.
> 
> -FrL-

From what you explained, I’d bet that you contacted a call center in a foreign country with a worker who barely speaks English and has no clue about how anything works. They are given an extremely structured protocol to follow, including lots of apologies when necessary, in the hopes of stumbling through and maybe fixing something sometime, but mostly so that they can earn the couple of pennies the US company pays them to get through the incident and move onto the next.

Several years back I used to train people to do technical support for a variety of companies, and sometimes I’d have to travel to do it. My classes started out mostly with new hires with some computer experience in a city with a major university in a well educated state. Then it was anyone who ever touched a computer in a college town. Then it was pretty much anyone who had seen a computer and wanted a job in some medium sized town in a notoriously poorly educated state. Then it was anyone not killed by the horribly tainted water in a smaller town in the same poorly educated state who had ever used a phone. Then they sent me to Jamaica to try to get people there who maybe never saw a phone but could learn to copy and paste text from standard response paragraphs online to multiple people at once in a chat room. By then they were talking about trying to send me to India to get call center after call center going there supposedly handling tech calls. Of course they realized paying someone who knew something about the products to go to India was pointless and then fired me and most every English speaker.

It’s just corporate cost saving measures… If it’s something like support, where they don’t earn money directly, they’ll get monkeys to hammer on a keyboard if they think they can get away with it. I think the worst part is that progressively as the people I was supposed to train knew less and less about anything in general to start with, let alone computers, the more convinced they were that they had all the right answers already and didn’t need training… both management and agents.

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### Author: ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/9 "2008-11-12T18:24:42Z")

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> [@Dan\_Norder](#):
>
> It’s just corporate cost saving measures… If it’s something like support, where they don’t earn money directly, they’ll get monkeys to hammer on a keyboard if they think they can get away with it. I think the worst part is that progressively as the people I was supposed to train knew less and less about anything in general to start with, let alone computers, the more convinced they were that they had all the right answers already and didn’t need training… both management and agents.

Bingo. As an erstwhile Tech Support supervisor, that’s been my experience exactly. My wife works for a very well known maker of copy machines and printers, and she’s embarrassed to give out the support number. Right now, I only see two options if you want real, professional tech support:  
[ol]  
[li]Buy a super-expensive third-party “gold” Tech Support agreement.[/li][li]Buy super-expensive proprietary software that comes with a service warranty. You’ll probably be talking to either the people who wrote the damned thing, or they’ll be one removed from those people.[/li][/ol]

In the future, I imagine telling my grandchildren about the good ol’ days, when you’d call someone for tech support, and talk to a human who knew his ass from a hole in the ground.

By the way, I have to give props to a company called FogBugz, who seems to be the lonely exception in my experience. We used their call tracking software at my previous company, and their support was awesome. (And, no, I’m not associated with them).

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### Author: ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/10 "2008-11-12T19:57:31Z")

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I have been amused by your anecdote. Would you like to tell another amusing anecdote? I will assist you in that regard.

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### Author: ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/11 "2008-11-12T22:57:58Z")

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> [@Frylock](#):
>
> What do you mean? She was going to have me rummage around in the recovery partition (which is as far as I can tell inaccessible) or the recovery DVDs (which to my memory can’t be explored but only used to recover the system) to find a program which was right there already installed on my system.
> 
> I was the one who solved my own problem during the course of the call.
> 
> -FrL-

You asked the questions, she answered them, more or less. The system worked. So, ok, it would have taken 4 hours more without prompts from you.

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### Author: ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)
#### Post date: [November 15, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-just-perform-a-turing-test-online-customer-service/472283/12 "2008-11-15T03:42:07Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> originally posted by **pravnik** :  
> I have been amused by your anecdote. Would you like to tell another amusing anecdote? I will assist you in that regard.

😃
