# Did I make a stupid mistake? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 31, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530 "2013-12-31T01:23:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoned\_stoner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stoned\_stoner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoned_stoner)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/1 "2013-12-31T01:23:13Z")
This was some time ago, but it’s been bugging me for a long time. On January 13, my girlfriend (or should I say ex-girlfriend now) said she was coming to SJ (my home town) to see me, and I asked her when she was coming. She said “Waiting for a friend.” She was planning to see me on that very day. But when she said “Waiting for a friend.”, I thought she meant she was waiting for her friend TO CALL HER (to let her know when when she’d be able to come to SJ with her). It was a big mistake for me to think that way. But what my girlfriend meant was that she was waiting for a friend to get ready. So as a result, on January 13, I was unaware that my girlfriend and her friend were in SJ that very day. She broke up with me after that. Did I make a stupid mistake? Was it a stupid mistake to think that she meant she was waiting for a friend TO CALL HER UP SOMETIME (when she really meant that she was waiting for a friend TO GET READY)? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/2 "2013-12-31T01:36:20Z")
WTF? :dubious: I’d say y’all have some serious communication issues. Your OP is completely surreal. ---
**Author:** ![Vagabond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/258eb7/32.png) [@Vagabond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vagabond)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/3 "2013-12-31T01:43:13Z")
If she talked to you on the 13th and said she was COMING to your town…not IN your town, I say it was her screw up. But you never said there was a problem, like she came over and you were gone. You just said you were unaware she meant she was already in town so she broke up with you. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/4 "2013-12-31T01:43:13Z")
Studies have shown that continued and repeated use of THC adversely impacts mental processes. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/5 "2013-12-31T01:45:15Z")
This thing I can’t decipher happened on 1/13/13? And you’re just now trying to figure out if you made a mistake? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/6 "2013-12-31T01:51:08Z")
When someone says: “When you coming to town?” and they Answer: “Waiting for a friend.” That’s pretty much the equivalent of: “How high can you count to?” “Potato” ---
**Author:** ![Stoned\_stoner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stoned\_stoner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoned_stoner)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/7 "2013-12-31T01:53:34Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > This thing I can’t decipher happened on 1/13/13? And you’re just now trying to figure out if you made a mistake? I’ve been keeping it to myself for years (it was in 2009). But it’s not like it’s a crime to talk about the past, Blackberry. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/8 "2013-12-31T01:59:51Z")
…and then I thought “haven’t I been smoking peyote for 2 weeks? And isn’t it possible I’ve never even BEEN to sj??” ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/9 "2013-12-31T02:00:33Z")
> [@Stoned\_stoner](#): > > I’ve been keeping it to myself for years (it was in 2009). But it’s not like it’s a crime to talk about the past, Blackberry. dude - time to move on, let it go - forget about the past. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/10 "2013-12-31T02:03:54Z")
We’re probably being a little unfair here, but the OP is a tad incoherent, and the user name **Stoned\_stoner** just invites stereotyping. The events seem to come down to miscommunication, so the best advice would be to work on your communication skills. Did you make a mistake? Maybe…but it’s in the past. Learn from it, and try not to repeat it. Meanwhile, remember the mantra of all guys who have been dumped by a girlfriend: “Her loss!” ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/11 "2013-12-31T02:07:57Z")
> [@simster](#): > > dude - time to move on, let it go - forget about the past. It’s good that y’all broke up. Eventually she would have given away your dog and killed your spider. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/12 "2013-12-31T02:08:58Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > WTF? :dubious: > > I’d say y’all have some serious communication issues. Your OP is completely surreal. That was my first thought, then I decided to re-read the OP and see if I could make more sense of it (slow night, what can I say?). On second, careful reading, I still don’t know why the OP’s girlfriend broke up with him, but I don’t think a simple mis-understanding played much of a role in it. Therefore, I judge not a stupid mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/13 "2013-12-31T02:10:07Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > It’s good that y’all broke up. Eventually she would have given away your dog and killed your spider. Heh. No one wants their spider killed (especially by their careless ex). ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/14 "2013-12-31T02:13:03Z")
> [@Stoned\_stoner](#): > > I’ve been keeping it to myself for years (it was in 2009). But it’s not like it’s a crime to talk about the past, Blackberry. Okay well then it doesn’t matter if you made a mistake or not. If it really was just a communication gaffe and she broke up with you over that, she obviously was just looking for a reason to break up. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/15 "2013-12-31T03:23:56Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > It’s good that y’all broke up. Eventually she would have given away your dog and killed your spider. I hate it when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/16 "2013-12-31T03:29:53Z")
And he’s been composing that post since October. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/17 "2013-12-31T03:43:35Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > And he’s been composing that post since October. Well, its clear he contemplates things for a long, long, long time - after all, he wants to be sure he doesn’t make any mistakes. ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/18 "2013-12-31T03:59:27Z")
I feel like there’s still a bit of context missing. Like, you didn’t know she was coming that very day, so you decided to go ahead and have that three-way with the hot twins from next door that you’d been working up to for a while, and when your dear gal showed up unexpectedly to find you balls-deep in a blonde Swedish sandwich (with or without meatballs according to your preference) she inexplicably declined to tear her friend’s clothes off with her teeth and join in right then and there, and instead gave you a bit of the old heave-ho? I mean, just from what you’ve told us I would have expected it to go like this: DRAMATIS PERSONAE [ul] [li]STONED STONER, a YOUNG MAN who likes a GOOD TOKE now and then.[/li][li]MS. GIRLFRIEND, his sweet and young DOTING PARAMOUR.[/li][li]THIRD WHEEL, the girlfriend’s INCONVENIENT FLUNKY.[/li][/ul] [_SCENE_: STONED STONER’s living room. There is a PIZZA BOX jauntily strewn on the OAK COFFEE TABLE. Most of the BBQ HAWAIIAN PIZZA is gone. There is a knock at the door.] **STONED STONER** : Oh! Who could that be? [He opens the door. MS. GIRLFRIEND is standing there with THIRD WHEEL.] **MS. GIRLFRIEND** : Hi, SS! Remember I said we’d be coming to town? Where are your pants?? **THIRD WHEEL** : Sweet baby jesus! **SS** : Oh! My bad, baby, I thought you were waiting to hear from a friend. I didn’t know you meant TODAY. **GF** : No, silly, I was ready to go, I was just waiting for TW here to get her bra on. **TW** : You know how long it takes! **GF** : Ha! ha! What a delightful misunderstanding and not at all a reason to terminate our perfectly healthy relationship. Go put on some pants. If it somehow went down otherwise maybe you could fill us in? I don’t see why she’d dump you over a mildly inconvenient misunderstanding, unless she was planning on dumping you that day anyway. Either way, it was years ago, no use dwelling on it. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/19 "2013-12-31T05:04:48Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > It’s good that y’all broke up. Eventually she would have given away your dog and killed your spider. …a spider you’d raised from a pup in your shower. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Stoned\_stoner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stoned\_stoner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoned_stoner)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/20 "2013-12-31T05:24:25Z")
> [@Stealth\_Potato](#): > > I feel like there’s still a bit of context missing. Like, you didn’t know she was coming that very day, so you decided to go ahead and have that three-way with the hot twins from next door that you’d been working up to for a while, and when your dear gal showed up unexpectedly to find you balls-deep in a blonde Swedish sandwich (with or without meatballs according to your preference) she inexplicably declined to tear her friend’s clothes off with her teeth and join in right then and there, and instead gave you a bit of the old heave-ho? I mean, just from what you’ve told us I would have expected it to go like this: > > DRAMATIS PERSONAE > [ul] > [li]STONED STONER, a YOUNG MAN who likes a GOOD TOKE now and then.[/li][li]MS. GIRLFRIEND, his sweet and young DOTING PARAMOUR.[/li][li]THIRD WHEEL, the girlfriend’s INCONVENIENT FLUNKY.[/li][/ul] > [_SCENE_: STONED STONER’s living room. There is a PIZZA BOX jauntily strewn on the OAK COFFEE TABLE. Most of the BBQ HAWAIIAN PIZZA is gone. There is a knock at the door.] > **STONED STONER** : Oh! Who could that be? > [He opens the door. MS. GIRLFRIEND is standing there with THIRD WHEEL.] > **MS. GIRLFRIEND** : Hi, SS! Remember I said we’d be coming to town? Where are your pants?? > **THIRD WHEEL** : Sweet baby jesus! > **SS** : Oh! My bad, baby, I thought you were waiting to hear from a friend. I didn’t know you meant TODAY. > **GF** : No, silly, I was ready to go, I was just waiting for TW here to get her bra on. > **TW** : You know how long it takes! > **GF** : Ha! ha! What a delightful misunderstanding and not at all a reason to terminate our perfectly healthy relationship. Go put on some pants. > > If it somehow went down otherwise maybe you could fill us in? I don’t see why she’d dump you over a mildly inconvenient misunderstanding, unless she was planning on dumping you that day anyway. Either way, it was years ago, no use dwelling on it. To answer your question, she apparently did dump me because of that particular misunderstanding, since I didn’t show up when she arrived to meet me. But you’re right, time to put the past behind me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530.md?page=2)