# Did I make a stupid mistake? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 31, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530 "2013-12-31T01:23:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/21 "2013-12-31T06:10:21Z")
Look, your girlfriend is probably in her second marriage by now, with 3 or 4 kids. It’s time for you to move on too. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/22 "2013-12-31T10:22:53Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > When someone says: “When you coming to town?” and they Answer: “Waiting for a friend.” That’s pretty much the equivalent of: > > “How high can you count to?” > > “Potato” While this is true, I’ve got to say, given such a response I’d have some follow-up questions that were a polite way of saying “WTF?” Her response was clearly non-responsive, so why didn’t the OP ask “okay, what’s that mean? You’re waiting for a call, a ride, Godot, an old Stones song to finish playing, what?” instead of heading out? But Blackberry is right - this was pretty clearly a “last straw” situation, meaning there were a lot of other straws that the OP didn’t mention or (very likely) doesn’t even know about. I did something similar myself in my 20s. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/23 "2013-12-31T10:34:57Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > While this is true, I’ve got to say, given such a response I’d have some follow-up questions that were a polite way of saying “WTF?” Her response was clearly non-responsive, so why didn’t the OP ask “okay, what’s that mean? You’re waiting for a call, a ride, Godot, an old Stones song to finish playing, what?” instead of heading out? I’m willing to bet she wouldn’t have known what Godot meant. And no it wasn’t a stupid mistake, it was a genius, fortuitous mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/24 "2013-12-31T12:04:55Z")
> [@Stoned\_stoner](#): > > To answer your question, she apparently did dump me because of that particular misunderstanding, since I didn’t show up when she arrived to meet me. But you’re right, time to put the past behind me. Show up… Where, exactly? When, exactly? I mean, plans to meet ‘today’ in ‘San Jose’ are hilariously unspecific. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/25 "2013-12-31T12:46:37Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I’m willing to bet she wouldn’t have known what Godot meant. He was that guy who imagined he was taken captive to be used as a sex slave by Amazon women in the story by James Thurber, right? > [@](#): > > And no it wasn’t a stupid mistake, it was a genius, fortuitous mistake. It was a _[felix culpa](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felix_culpa)_, a “happy fault” that may have led to your salvation. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/26 "2013-12-31T12:57:24Z")
**OP** , if you can track her down on Facebook it would be interesting to request clarification now. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/27 "2013-12-31T14:57:32Z")
Was this exchange conducted via text? Because that may be your first problem right there. It appears she was answering a question you didn’t ask, and if she thought what she provided was a an acceptable, coherent answer, and subsequently dumped you over this trivial miscommunication, you’re probably better off without her. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/28 "2013-12-31T15:04:52Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > He was that guy who imagined he was taken captive to be used as a sex slave by Amazon women in the story by James Thurber, right?. You mean “Waiting for… God… oh, oh, ohhhh…” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/29 "2013-12-31T15:16:43Z")
“OK. Let me know where and when you want me to meet you.” ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/30 "2013-12-31T15:39:39Z")
SJ = San Juan? Anyway, I think it’s bad manners to surprise visit anybody, even if it’s someone you’re dating. Your ex had bad manners if she didn’t make it abundantly clear to you, in advance, what day she was planning to show up. In past relationships with boyfriends I didn’t live with, I’d have been pissed if they randomly showed up without giving me a heads-up. I need time to clean the house, make the bed, shave my legs, put on makeup, etc. I live with my current boyfriend already, so this is no longer an issue. But yeah. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/31 "2013-12-31T15:48:31Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > When someone says: “When you coming to town?” and they Answer: “Waiting for a friend.” That’s pretty much the equivalent of: > “How high can you count to?” > “Potato” I LOVE this response. And I agree that the OP’s girlfriend’s response was total nonsense. The OP should’ve clarified, but her text did not communicate anything at all. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/32 "2013-12-31T17:08:24Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Show up… Where, exactly? When, exactly? I mean, plans to meet ‘today’ in ‘San Jose’ are hilariously unspecific. Maybe she didn’t know the way to San Jose. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/33 "2013-12-31T17:12:32Z")
> [@Stoned\_stoner](#): > > I’ve been keeping it to myself for years (it was in 2009). But it’s not like it’s a crime to talk about the past, Blackberry. Why did you say “on January 13” instead of “five years ago”? How could the specific date possibly be more useful than the fact that you’re worried about a stupid breakup from 5 years ago? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/34 "2013-12-31T17:13:35Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > When someone says: “When you coming to town?” and they Answer: “Waiting for a friend.” That’s pretty much the equivalent of: > “How high can you count to?” > “Potato” I was going to use “what color is the sky?” “Seven” but same concept. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/35 "2013-12-31T18:48:47Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > I need time to clean the house, make the bed, shave my legs, put on makeup, etc. Yeah but you’re a chick. Stoned\_stoner doesn’t have to do any of those things. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/36 "2013-12-31T19:18:26Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > Why did you say “on January 13” instead of “five years ago”? How could the specific date possibly be more useful than the fact that you’re worried about a stupid breakup from 5 years ago? Lack of specificity when communicating is the crux of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/37 "2013-12-31T20:58:53Z")
I think you made an awful mistake – just fly to Denver and spliff your worries away. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/38 "2013-12-31T21:54:45Z")
I’m just trying to come up with a scenario in which it’s relevant that this all happened specifically on a January 13th. \*“. . . but when they arrived at my apartment I was, tragically, not there to greet them, having sojourned out to procure a costume for Martin Luther King Day, a mere 6 days hence.” ". . . but when they eventually showed up, I had gone to an impromptu candlelight vigil for [Patrick McGoohan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_McGoohan), who, needless to say, had died earlier that day. (Ironically, my ex was a big fan of both _The Prisoner_ AND obsolete lighting sources; she would have loved it!) “. . . Sadly, their knocking was drowned out by the fireworks I was setting off in the backyard to celebrate the Liberation Day of Togo. (Eyadéma forverer!)” " . . . but, of course, it was the feast day of St. Hilary of Poitiers, so … well, you know the rest."\* ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/39 "2013-12-31T22:09:41Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Was this exchange conducted via text? Because that may be your first problem right there. I’m always sad when text messages lead to confusion. If only the person had an actual phone where they could call the other person to clear things up… ---
**Author:** ![Stoned\_stoner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stoned\_stoner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoned_stoner)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530/40 "2013-12-31T22:14:30Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > SJ = San Juan? No, San Jose (in California). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-i-make-a-stupid-mistake/677530.md?page=3)