# Did Jesus shit? Did it stink? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313 "2010-11-20T06:42:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/1 "2010-11-20T06:42:36Z")
If he’s perfect, there wouldn’t be any waste, right? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/2 "2010-11-20T06:46:34Z")
Yes and yes. That may sound flip, but Christian theology insists on the point that he had a normal, human body, and the Bible says he ate. That would not make his body imperfect, it would make it perfectly functional. He invented “pull my finger,” by the way. I think that’s in one of the Nag Hammadi codices somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/3 "2010-11-20T07:00:26Z")
He’s spiritually perfect, fully divine, and fully human. While he could do some superhuman things with his body, there’s no reason to think it didn’t essentially function like other human bodies. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/4 "2010-11-20T07:02:51Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > He invented “pull my finger,” by the way. I think that’s in one of the Nag Hammadi codices somewhere. Learned that one from his dad, as shown [here](http://www.christusrex.org/www1/Sistine/4-Adam.gif). ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/5 "2010-11-20T07:25:05Z")
Holy shit! ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/6 "2010-11-20T08:08:51Z")
Would his large intestine work so exquisitely\* that the precise amount of fluid was always reabsorbed-- never too much to cause constipation, but always giving him one of those perfectly formed shits that are completely clean when you wipe? \*Or whatever factors contribute to this phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/7 "2010-11-20T09:58:31Z")
Odin, on the other hand, never ate, he only drank wine; so I guess he settled for a leak from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/8 "2010-11-20T12:39:45Z")
Yes, he pinched loaves. Don’t know about fishes. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/9 "2010-11-20T16:34:19Z")
Which way did he hang the toilet paper? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/10 "2010-11-20T17:38:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > He invented “pull my finger,” by the way. I think that’s in one of the Nag Hammadi codices somewhere. Also found in the book _Lamb_, as I recall. It’s a little known fact that the Sermon on the Mount was followed by the lengthier Contemplation on the Throne. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/11 "2010-11-20T18:59:11Z")
For some reason I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see that shortest verse in the Bible the same way again: Jesus wept. ---
**Author:** ![Batfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Batfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batfish)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/12 "2010-11-20T20:00:29Z")
Yes, it stinks! Mostly because of all the chiles and jalepenos. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/13 "2010-11-20T23:25:20Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > For some reason I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see that shortest verse in the Bible the same way again: Jesus wept. Too much Taco Bell the night before, probably… ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/14 "2010-11-21T19:18:31Z")
Jesus had a divine colostomy bag and angels came during the night and took care of it for him. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/15 "2010-11-21T20:27:24Z")
_munches popcorn_ ---
**Author:** ![Bangkok\_corkscrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d26b3c/32.png) [@Bangkok\_corkscrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bangkok_corkscrew)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/16 "2013-10-09T23:07:43Z")
Today you can find his shit in Eucharist crackers. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/17 "2013-10-09T23:11:26Z")
I don’t even wanna know what you googling to wake up this three year old thread. ---
**Author:** ![Aman27deep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aman27deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aman27deep)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/18 "2013-10-09T23:23:48Z")
Maybe it was the earliest found perfume. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/19 "2013-10-09T23:28:16Z")
Appropriate zombie thread. If he ate, he shat. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-jesus-shit-did-it-stink/561313/20 "2013-10-09T23:53:22Z")
I miss Diogenes the Cynic… Without him, I never would have known that Jesus invented “Pull my finger.” (And all the real stuff he taught us, too.)