# Did my freaky cow-orker scam a free dinner outta me???
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 18, 2004, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850 "2004-05-18T21:41:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/1 "2004-05-18T21:41:08Z")
So, you may remember my wedding dress-wearing cow-orker, FreakLady (not her real name), who hums tunelessly all day long. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
So, she’s not my most favouritest co-worker, no. But she has been humming less (intereferes too much with perpetual eating) and she no longer seems to wear the wedding dress as standard office attire, thanks to another co-worker who has taken her shopping and encouraged less matrimonal ensembles.
Nonetheless, she still often bugs the snot out of me. But I try to maintain a professional decorum.
Friday was a former co-worker’s birthday, and a group of us headed out to celebrate at a fine French restaurant called “Chez _Very_ Expensif”. FreakLady was invited. We had a grand time with excellent appetizers, the entrées were superb, and desserts excellent.
FreakLady had to leave to a attend an event the following morning, so she left us immediately after we finished our main courses.
My bill came to $50. Tsk! A touch more than I was planning to spend.
However, I ended up coughing up $85. A LOT more than I was planning to spend.
FreakLady forgot to pay her tab. :dubious:
Okay, she’s not the most polished nut in the squirrel’s nest. She forgot. And while we were still there, she _did_ call a co-workers cell number:
“NaaAAaanncyyyYYYyyyy, I forgot to leave money on the taaAAAaaAAable…”
(You know how Bill Cosby does the voice of “The Informer” – “MoooOOooom, guess what?” – It was just like that.)
Nancy passed the phone to me, since I’d already paid it. “No, problem, I’ve cover it and you can pay me back on Monday. But DON’T forget!” I said. “Okay,” answered FreakLady, “Tank you. I pay you back Monday.”
She negelected to mention that she wasn’t working Monday. :smack:
So here it is Tuesday. FreakLady has already gone home for the day, “See you tomorrow, Eat\_Kayak.” (Never gets my name right, grrrrrr!)
No mention of the $35 bucks she owes for her bill. :mad: So now I’m sitting and wondering how I can _politely_ remind that mouthbreather to gimme my dough! (And I mean “mouthbreather” literally. When she has to walk from Point A to Point B, she goes slack-jawed with a toothy grin.) And I am quite convinced that she really did just _forget_ 'cause she really is mind-bobblingly dumb!
Miss Manners, Miss Manners, help me craft a reminder!
Preferably before I go apeshit!
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### Author:  [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/2 "2004-05-18T22:18:56Z")
Leave this up on your work computer? 😉
If you believe it to have honestly slipped her mind, just catch her in a semi-coherent phase and tell her you hate to bother her, but you need the money owed as you had it earmarked for a bikini wax.
That oughta do it. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/3 "2004-05-18T22:29:00Z")
> [@harmless](#):
>
> Leave this up on your work computer? 😉
> If you believe it to have honestly slipped her mind, just catch her in a semi-coherent phase and tell her you hate to bother her, but you need the money owed as you had it earmarked for a bikini wax.
> That oughta do it. 🙂
Yeah, I’ll be reminding her tomorrow. But if she doesn’t have the cash right on her, I’ll likely be reminding her for a few _weeks_. It usually takes things a long time to get through the cotton in her cranium.
It will be “Oh! I forgot! Sorry, Eat\_Kayak! I bring it tomorrow, okay?”
And then she’ll forget tomorrow.
I’m not kidding. She is really sweet, and would never be a deliberate boob, but she cannot “walk and chew gum at the same time” if you know what I mean.
I should magic marker something on her arm, 'cause this is going to be tough.
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### Author:  [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/4 "2004-05-18T22:52:38Z")
Offer to drive her to the ATM at lunch.
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### Author:  [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/5 "2004-05-18T22:55:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I should magic marker something on her arm, 'cause this is going to be tough.
Funny, I was going to suggest a note pinned to the back of her jacket.
Similar versions: Home email or number? Email or leave a message where she’ll be likely to get it at home and maybe bring it next day.
Give her the receipt if you have it, make a copy for you first, or give her the copy; the bigger the reminder, less likely she’ll lose it. Cirlce her portion.
Kind of like a bill, but from the restaurant.
I find that usually works without being too pushy.
Good luck!
is there a “finders fee” if the advice works? 😉
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/6 "2004-05-18T22:58:32Z")
Write “I owe Eats Crayons $35” on a post-it note. Attach it to her computer screen.
If that doesn’t work, write “53$ snoyarC staE ewo I” on a post-it note and staple it to her forehead.
That oughta do the trick. She’ll see it everytime she washes her hands.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/7 "2004-05-18T23:19:24Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#):
>
> If that doesn’t work, write “53$ snoyarC staE ewo I” on a post-it note and staple it to her forehead.
>
> That oughta do the trick. She’ll see it everytime she washes her hands.
BWA-HA-HA-HA! Funny! You think she washes her hands!
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### Author:  [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/8 "2004-05-19T08:29:19Z")
Get a large male friend (preferably with a bent nose) to dress in a black suit and come to her cube.
“You own Eats\_Crayons some money. Eats\_Crayons doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
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### Author:  [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/9 "2004-05-19T09:46:26Z")
Eat\_Kayak, if she doesn’t pay you, I will as I get so much enjoyment out of your posts. (Don’t hold me to that). I must have a dull life.
Is she really that dumb?
😛
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/10 "2004-05-19T12:22:18Z")
> [@Cicero](#):
>
> Is she really that dumb?
When I found out she was in her early 40s I was unable to stop myself – the words “oh, is she developmentally delayed?” popped out of my mouth. It wasn’t facetious, it was a genuine question. And a few others looked confused and somewhat in awe of the revelation “She’s 40!” as well.
Oh, and as far as anyone knows, she is not in fact developmentally delayed (from a clinical standpoint).
I’m not sure if it’s “dumbness” or “acute obliviousness.”
E.g./ She boiled fish in the office microwave… the stench of which sickened a few office workers and made the office smell disgusting for three days. Meeting had to be rescheduled elsewhere. New rule about “stinky food” implemented.
She really _is_ a very sweet person, with no ill-will for anyone. There’s not a mean or vindictive bone in her body.
That actually makes it all the more frustrating.
When she drives you batshit you have to check your temper because it would be like yelling at a puppy that doesn’t understand what it’s done wrong. (My mantra: “Don’t yell at her, she’ll cry… Don’t yell at her she’ll cry…”)
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### Author:  [@purplycow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplycow)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/11 "2004-05-19T12:40:23Z")
You have my sympathies.
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I haven’t stopped laughing, though 😃
BTW, was the “cow-orker” spelling in the thread title on purpose? Does she look anything like a cow? (No offence meant, especially considering my username ;))
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### Author:  [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/12 "2004-05-19T12:58:46Z")
**Eats\_Crayons** , you should get together with **Eve** and start a support group. You could call it, “Moo-Cow” which stands for “ **M** ust **O** vercome **O** blivious **COW** -workers”. 😃
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### Author:  [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/13 "2004-05-19T14:13:01Z")
> [@purplycow](#):
>
> BTW, was the “cow-orker” spelling in the thread title on purpose?
Purply, that’s a phrase that I believe originated in the Dilbert comic strip.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/14 "2004-05-19T14:13:29Z")
> [@purplycow](#):
>
> BTW, was the “cow-orker” spelling in the thread title on purpose? Does she look anything like a cow?
I use the following rule of thumb:
Esteemed colleague = “co-worker”
Idiot who takes up space and uses unnecessary oxygen = “cow-orker”
**Dragwyr** in a previous thread in which I mused over the way FreakLady had cut her own hair for the chic, preschooler-left-unsupervised-with-scissors look, someone said we should get Pwincess Pwecious together with FreakLady to see what would happen. I agree, it would be an interesting experiment:
Pwincess Pwecious: “Hewwo, FweakWady!”
FreakLady: “Hi, Pwincess Pencil. How are you today?”
Then we’ll see whose head explodes first.
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### Author:  [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/15 "2004-05-19T14:19:02Z")
Just keep reminding her.
I find these theads hilarious as well. Tell us more stories of the the mad co-worker. Just for curiousity’s sake, how much does she eat a day?
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/16 "2004-05-19T14:20:10Z")
Is this one of those differences between men and women things?
When she’s back in the office say “Do you have that $ 35. dollars I covered for you the other day at lunch?”
She may be stupid, but why is it more complicated than that?
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### Author:  [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/17 "2004-05-19T19:26:13Z")
A beautiful OP, **Eats\_Crayons.**
As for getting FreakLady and Pwicess Pwecious together… it’s likely that they would not interact. I’ve tried the experiment, always with the same results.
In college, my housemates & I threw some big parties. Always, two or three losers/weirdos/totally boring people/complete geeks showed up an hour early. We could not get them to entertain each other while we finished preparing for the party; they always glommed onto one of us, driving us nuts and keeping us from accomplishing anything. They repel each other, just like they repel others.
I’ve also tried the experiment of getting together a male casa nova with a female piranha. Same result – they wouldn’t even acknowledge each other’s existence.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/18 "2004-05-19T20:05:02Z")
**Hark! A miracle! Success on the _first try_.** (Unheard of with her.)
She came in to the office kitchen.
“Oh hi, FreakLady. Hey, don’t forget you still have your restaurant tab from the other night.”
“Oh,” she said. Then she turned around and ran away. 😕
Her smurf-blue pumps clattering on the hardwood floors as she ran down the hall.
_CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…_
“The hell?” I thought to myself. “Did she think I was aiming for a pound of flesh?”
_CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…_
She poked her head around the corner. “Eat\_Kayak, how much do I owe?”
I told her and she ran off again.
_CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…_
…
…
…
_CLACK CLACK CLACKCLACK CLACK CLACKCLACK CLACK CLACK…_
“Here, Eat\_Kayak. Thank you for paying. I forgot the other night.”
Wow!
And I mean, really _WOW!!!_ Normally, even though she’s not malicious and has no bad intentions, she forgets things. Mind like a sieve.
I’m so happy! _dabs tear from eye_ Historically, it’s been so hard, yet _this time_ Og has smiled down on me! Since I bought new laptop, I’ve been destitute so that $35 was actually a big deal. YAAAAAAY! She had cash on her! RAH! RAH! RAH!
All that anxiety for nothing! _sigh of relief_
**astro** You may note that a few times in this thread I DID in fact say I would be reminding her, but that the problem is that if she does not have cash with her, she will likely be needed to be reminded for _weeks_ to come. She does not remember things well ( \<–understatement ). She could be in the sequel to _Memento_.
E.g./ A co-worker invited her to a party. The Monday after the party. FreakLady called her extention asking if there was “another party this weekend.” No. An hour later, FreakLady called her extension to ask if there was “another party this weekend.” No, there’s not. An hour later, FreakLady called her extension to ask if there was “another party this weekend.” No. No party. An hour later…
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/19 "2004-05-19T20:21:59Z")
> [@lainaf](#):
>
> A beautiful OP, **Eats\_Crayons.**
>
> As for getting FreakLady and Pwicess Pwecious together… it’s likely that they would not interact. I’ve tried the experiment, always with the same results.
> \
> They repel each other, just like they repel others.
FreakLady is a very good-natured and passive person. Although she is very, very weird ( \<–understatement) she likes just about everybody. Except for the people that she eventually made snap and yell at her. She thinks they are Mean People.
So she would probably sit quietly and be thoroughly entertained by Pwincess Pwecious and her cutsey-woosty way of talking.
She does have some interesting stories to tell, because she is well-travelled (though naïve), so you can get interesting descriptions of places if you ask her.
I’ve learned I can get along with her just fine as long as I wear earplugs in the office to block out her humming and the _cringe twitch twitch_ “eating noises.” Problems only arise when her “odd habits” push beyond your patience threshold.
Sometimes, I must admit I do wonder if some of her vagueness is to cover up a brilliant alter-ego…
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### Author:  [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-my-freaky-cow-orker-scam-a-free-dinner-outta-me/245850/20 "2004-05-19T21:00:25Z")
So the tuneless humming is really some sort of secret code being sent to the Hall of Justice?
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