# "Did panic grip your soul?" NY Times Reviews Guy \[Fieri\]'s American Kitchen
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [November 14, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986 "2012-11-14T15:50:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/1 "2012-11-14T15:50:48Z")
The [best restaurant review I’ve ever read](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html?_r=0), for what is apparently the worst restaurant I will never visit.
[QUOTE=NY Times Review]
Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?
[/QUOTE]
There are no answers to be found at Guy’s. Only questions.
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### Author:  [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/2 "2012-11-14T16:02:06Z")
Well, I can’t stand Fieri, so I wouldn’t voluntarily eat at any of his establishments, but this gave me a chuckle:
“Did you discern any buttermilk or brine in the white meat, or did you think it tasted like chewy air?”
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### Author:  [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/3 "2012-11-14T16:03:18Z")
That was some first-class snark! It makes you wonder if the experience was really that awful or did Guy Fieri bitch slap the reviewer’s mom.
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### Author:  [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/4 "2012-11-14T16:08:50Z")
That review is a thing of brilliance.
I love diner culture, but _Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives_ is virtually unwatchable because of that guy. Cannot stand him.
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### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/5 "2012-11-14T16:09:58Z")
Thanks for this link. Very funny.
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### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/6 "2012-11-14T16:12:21Z")
And I just noticed this in the summary at the end:
> [@](#):
>
> **SERVICE** The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.
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### Author:  [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/7 "2012-11-14T16:31:07Z")
Baked Alaska proves it’s not a real restaurant. No one should ever make it or order it in real life.
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### Author:  [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/8 "2012-11-14T16:50:57Z")
What the actual heck is Donkey Sauce? I Googled it and found out about an episode of _Fear Factor_ which I assume was unrelated, although on re-reading the review I am less sure…
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/9 "2012-11-14T16:53:38Z")
It’s basically roasted garlic mayonnaise. I put my own version (minus the additional mustard and Worcestershire sauce) on burgers all the time–it’s delicious.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/10 "2012-11-14T16:56:48Z")
From the full review’s complaint, I assume it’s like aioli (garlicky mayo), as he complains that Fieri’s published recipe’s result tastes nothing like what they got in the restaurant - “Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic?”
This adds extra hilarity to the comment about thinking about what part the Donkey Sauce comes from.
Edit: Damn, too slow.
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/11 "2012-11-14T16:57:13Z")
Ha. The Old Grey Lady still has her teeth.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/12 "2012-11-14T22:09:31Z")
This is a cheap shot, as everybody hates Guy Fieri. That sad, I loved reading this because I hate Guy Fieri.
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### Author:  [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/13 "2012-11-14T22:28:28Z")
Is this how you roll in Flavor Town?
:snort:
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/14 "2012-11-14T22:32:55Z")
Have you ever read a review for a restaurant and had your mouth start watering? This was not one of those occasions.
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### Author:  [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/15 "2012-11-14T22:45:57Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> This is a cheap shot, as everybody hates Guy Fieri. That sad, I loved reading this because I hate Guy Fieri.
I like Guy Fieri and I loved reading this.
More specifically, I like Diners Drive-Ins and Dives. Fieri himself is kind of a douche outside the show.
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### Author:  [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/16 "2012-11-14T22:48:38Z")
I live across the street from a Johnny Garlic’s, his restaurant chain. Nothing about the review surprises me. It’s not awful (it is better than most mid-level chains), but it pretends it is so much more.
Plus in the three times I’ve eaten there the wait staff as always been odd. Not quirky odd, confused odd.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/17 "2012-11-14T22:54:43Z")
> [@Bosstone](#):
>
> More specifically, I like Diners Drive-Ins and Dives.
I can’t resist watching the show. It’s like Food Porn.
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/18 "2012-11-14T23:07:05Z")
“Was your deep-fried “boulder” of ice cream the size of a standard scoop?”
OK, that would make me very, very angry.
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### Author:  [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/19 "2012-11-14T23:12:00Z")
I have _DDD_ on right now! I love it.
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### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/20 "2012-11-14T23:14:24Z")
I like how the review goes on for two pages. Brilliant.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986.md?page=2)