# "Did panic grip your soul?" NY Times Reviews Guy \[Fieri\]'s American Kitchen
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [November 14, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986 "2012-11-14T15:50:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/81 "2012-11-16T16:57:06Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> Best part is when the interviewer brings up that it’s one thing for food snobs to peer down over their monocles at restaurants
Should we ever meet, I am going to make it a priority to buy you a monacle. 😉
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/82 "2012-11-16T17:03:25Z")
I would wear the shit out of it too.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/83 "2012-11-16T17:10:29Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> I would wear the shit out of it too.
If you could keep from dropping it in your tea\*.
\*bourbon
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/84 "2012-11-16T17:40:06Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#):
>
> I’ve never heard of Guy Fieri, but I’m glad to hear that he’s regarded as an asshole, because that review was actually making me feel bad for him.
If you ever feel that sympathy creeping in again, just look at [this](http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/185fofogs8kzjjpg/original.jpg) and you’ll be fine.
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### Author:  [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/85 "2012-11-16T19:30:33Z")
Diabetic strip club owner…lord help me I’m dying.
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### Author:  [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/86 "2012-11-16T19:33:38Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> If you ever feel that sympathy creeping in again, just look at [this](http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/185fofogs8kzjjpg/original.jpg) and you’ll be fine.
“You have a lot of cranial accessories”
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/87 "2012-11-16T19:37:26Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> If you ever feel that sympathy creeping in again, just look at [this](http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/185fofogs8kzjjpg/original.jpg) and you’ll be fine.
Now there is a face that cries “Come hither!” to a fist.
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### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/88 "2012-11-16T21:05:12Z")
> [@August\_West](#):
>
> “You have a lot of cranial accessories”
Just have to salute your proper use of a Mitch Hedberg quote. Well done.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/89 "2012-11-16T21:26:06Z")
> [@silenus](#):
>
> I like Fieri, and I like his food. That said, he’s still a douche. Flip-flops in a kitchen should get you 86’d every time.
I forgot about the flip flops. How could I forget those. Why did you remind me.
VT’s pic is just one of many that makes ones [knuckles](http://fastfood.ocregister.com/files/2009/05/guyfieri_web.jpg)[itch](http://blogs.westword.com/cafesociety/Guy%20Fiere.jpg)for [that](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/guy-fieri.jpg) [ghastly](http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/192/1922195/41_2009/4de786c3c2b899f1_91656783.preview.jpg)[goatee](http://www.dailyfork.com/Guy-Fieri.jpg).
I learned from this thread that he was a contestant on Food Network Star or something…that actually explains a lot. He probably felt pressure to “amp up” the “rock and roll” so that he can stand out from the other contestants and be seen as full of “personality” and “energy”. I guess.
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### Author:  [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/90 "2012-11-16T21:37:50Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> Fieri goes around and finds places that serve food that’s awesome without being pretentious. That’s the combination he should be aiming for in his own restaurants.
I don’t know. DDD reviewed Keagan’s in Indian Rocks Beach, FL, a restaraunt just down the road from me. Even considering his raves, the food never raises above “meh,” and often submerges to “WTF” – plain mashed potatoes with chili powder being an example. Kind of makes me wonder about some of the other restaraunts that look so good with editing.
ETA: Keagan’s parking lot is always full now, though. I assume because of DDD.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/91 "2012-11-16T21:53:36Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> VT’s pic is just one of many that makes ones [knuckles](http://fastfood.ocregister.com/files/2009/05/guyfieri_web.jpg)[itch](http://blogs.westword.com/cafesociety/Guy%20Fiere.jpg)for [that](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/guy-fieri.jpg) [ghastly](http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons1/192/1922195/41_2009/4de786c3c2b899f1_91656783.preview.jpg)[goatee](http://www.dailyfork.com/Guy-Fieri.jpg).
Does that sort of appearance appeal to people? To me, he just resembles a clown (and not the good kind).
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### Author:  [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/92 "2012-11-16T22:02:15Z")
> [@Dr.Righteous](#):
>
> [Awkward.](http://www.thebraiser.com/guy-fieri-nyt-staff-party/)
For those who like a bit of description, the NY Times sales team hosted a party at the same restaurant the very night the review hit.
It was planned 2 months in advance.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/93 "2012-11-16T22:11:00Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#):
>
> For those who like a bit of description, the NY Times sales team hosted a party at the same restaurant the very night the review hit.
>
> It was planned 2 months in advance.
I don’t get why the NY Times denied this at first, and I don’t see why they feel the need to justify themselves by making sure we know it was planned 2 months in advance.
It is fine to go to eat at a bad restaurant. When I was young, I ate nasty gritty burgers at 3 am Saturday night from a restaurant so grimy they actually called their trademark meal a ‘garbage plate’. Doesn’t mean the food was good just because I ate it.
Doesn’t mean the critic wasn’t being honest about his experience, just because the sales team ate there.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/94 "2012-11-16T22:24:02Z")
I think they denied it initally because the spokesperson didn’t know about the ad sales department’s event. It’s a big company.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/95 "2012-11-16T22:28:07Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#):
>
> I don’t get why the NY Times denied this at first, and I don’t see why they feel the need to justify themselves by making sure we know it was planned 2 months in advance.
Early reports said the NY Times had a staff party at the restaurant, and they didn’t. I suppose you could argue that that would’ve cast doubt on their motives in the review and suggested they were going over-the-top just to get attention. What actually happened was the sales team hosted some clients there in a preplanned event.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/96 "2012-11-16T22:46:43Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#):
>
> Does that sort of appearance appeal to people? To me, he just resembles a clown (and not the good kind).
To paraphrase Anthony Bourdain, he’s basically a live-action [Poochie](http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Poochie).
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### Author:  [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashley_Pomeroy)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/97 "2012-11-16T22:51:59Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> I do believe you’re talking about Vanity Fair’s [review of L’Ami Louis](http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2011/04/lami-louis-201104), which was my first result on googling “worst restaurant in Paris.” 😃 And yes, I’d read it before (but was unable to recall the name) and thought it was jaw-droppingly fantastic.
Ah, A A Gill. You do not disappoint. _“The cramped tables are set with labially pink cloths, which give it a colonic appeal and the awkward sense that you might be a suppository.”_
Also, the staff bulge out of their jackets with _“the meaty malevolence of gouty buffalo”_. It’s fun to imagine saying that out loud. “The meaty malevolence of gouty buffalo”. The English language is great. It has words like \*the \*and \*and \*and \*it \*and \*then \*and so forth, and it also has \*fetid \*and \*oleaginous \*- and that’s just individual words. Put the together and, ye Gods, the possibilities are endless.
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### Author:  [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/98 "2012-11-16T23:27:31Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> To paraphrase Anthony Bourdain, he’s basically a live-action [Poochie](http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Poochie).
Whatever you may think of Guy Fieri, (whom I had never heard of until that game show he was on a couple of years back, but clearly his persona and affectations are that of a champion caliber uber-dooshbag) Anthony Bourdain is a sad, pathetic fucking joke of a man.
Constantly, endlessly, shamelessly blathering on and on about the Bad Ol’ Days, back when he was a edgy, desperate junkie, with a passion for Cambodian heroin, back alley razor-blade fights, hardcore punk music and the perfectly prepared hollandaise sauce drizzled over blanched baby asparagus, served with pan-seared monkfish ever so lightly glazed with a maple-ginger reduction…:rolleyes:
Bourdain is a fat, emasculated old man who still fancies himself as a bad ass, clearly having no idea how laughable he appears to the rest of the culinary world.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/99 "2012-11-16T23:37:39Z")
Bourdain may be an asshole, but he’s my kind of asshole. And I’d rather knock back a drink with him in Ghana, dining on rice and fish, listening to him wax heroine-addictecal about his edgy youth than to spend 2 minutes with Poochie, listening to him shouting “MONEY!” every time he slurps something into his bristly maw.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-panic-grip-your-soul-ny-times-reviews-guy-fieri-s-american-kitchen/640986/100 "2012-11-16T23:55:38Z")
> [@Ashley\_Pomeroy](#):
>
> Ah, A A Gill. You do not disappoint. _“The cramped tables are set with labially pink cloths, which give it a colonic appeal and the awkward sense that you might be a suppository.”_
>
> Also, the staff bulge out of their jackets with _“the meaty malevolence of gouty buffalo”_. It’s fun to imagine saying that out loud. “The meaty malevolence of gouty buffalo”. The English language is great. It has words like \*the \*and \*and \*and \*it \*and \*then \*and so forth, and it also has \*fetid \*and \*oleaginous \*- and that’s just individual words. Put the together and, ye Gods, the possibilities are endless.
I’m rather fond of “gray, suppurating renal brick,” myself. And that photo captures so much - the bright pink tablecloths, the overwhelming brownness, and the bulging waitstaff.
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