# Did the sign really say THAT? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461 "2007-06-18T14:41:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/1 "2007-06-18T14:41:37Z")
I don’t know if this reflects a subtle problem with brain circuitry, but I sometimes find myself misreading signs encountered on the road or in other settings, with bizarre results. This weekend I was walking through the hospital where I work and was taken aback by two adjacent signs, one reading “This Way to Eternity” and the other, “This Elevator Goes to Eternity”. Holy moly, Jack Chick was right!!! Of course, “Eternity” turned out to be “Maternity”. Anyone else habitually do this, or should I make an appointment with the neurologist (vision is fine)? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/2 "2007-06-18T14:53:17Z")
I had a similar thing happen in the supermarket - I saw, in the dairy cabinet, a row of tetra cartons emblazoned ‘Breast Milk’. On double-take they turned out to contain _Breakfast_ Milk (equivalent to [gold top](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Channel_Island_milk)) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/3 "2007-06-18T14:53:55Z")
I dunno – I pass a college campus on my way to work each morning, and each morning I misread the lawn signs for “Cheer Camp” as being for “Queer Camp.” ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/4 "2007-06-18T14:57:13Z")
I was passed by a van one day last month and had to do a double-take. It was emblazoned with a company name that I read as “Pointless Dent Repair” – which I thought was an arguably virtuous combination of corporate existential angst and truth in advertising. Turned out, of course, that it was “Paintless Dent Repair.” ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/5 "2007-06-18T15:00:28Z")
The first Sunday on which I took Communion at my present church, I was surprised to see a small bowl of bread labeled “Guilt-Free Bread”. I was almost disappointed to realize that this was not some quirk of theology I’d not encountered before, but rather a container of “Gluten-Free Bread”. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/6 "2007-06-18T15:18:18Z")
There was an antique store that I always thought was called Alien Antiques, till one day we were stopped at a stop light and happened to be right beside it. It turned out that it was Allen Antiques. Then there are the buses in Roanoke that have Kroger ads on the side that proclaim, “Let’s go Krogering!” which I kept thinking said, “Let’s go rogering!” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/7 "2007-06-18T15:27:02Z")
Not a sign, but did anyone else notice that the national television network changed the placard on their PSA’s about a year ago? They used to say “CBScares” “CB Scares?” I asked my husband. “That seems an odd kind of honesty.” It now says “CBS Cares”. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/8 "2007-06-18T15:49:05Z")
Last night, as I pulled into my driveway, I noticed that the license plate of a car parked at the curb appeared to read “You are commanded to cut your neighbor’s throat and gnaw his beating heart out of his chest.” However, on second glance, it just said “GRK 755.” Not really sure how that happened. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/9 "2007-06-18T15:52:51Z")
We have an ASS MANAGEMENT wing in one of our buildings. Yes, it really does say that as some intern keeps removing the ET from ASSET. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/10 "2007-06-18T16:15:06Z")
In the last five years I’ve been misreading a lot of signs. You learn not to open your mouth until a recheck verifies what you thought was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/11 "2007-06-18T16:23:05Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] In the last five years I’ve been misreading a lot of signs. You learn not to open your mouth until a recheck verifies what you thought was funny. [/QUOTE] …and I just read the second sentence as ''You learn not to open your mouth until a _redneck_ verifies what you thought was funny." ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/12 "2007-06-18T16:25:23Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] In the last five years I’ve been misreading a lot of signs. You learn not to open your mouth until a recheck verifies what you thought was funny. [/QUOTE] Why would a redneck be required to verifiy that? There is a chain of convenience stores around here called Li’l’ Peach. Before they changed the font, it looked like Li’l’ Death. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/13 "2007-06-18T16:27:13Z")
[QUOTE=Hunter Hawk] …and I just read the second sentence as ''You learn not to open your mouth until a _redneck_ verifies what you thought was funny." [/QUOTE] Glad I’m not the only one! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/14 "2007-06-18T16:27:48Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Last night, as I pulled into my driveway, I noticed that the license plate of a car parked at the curb appeared to read “You are commanded to cut your neighbor’s throat and gnaw his beating heart out of his chest.” However, on second glance, it just said “GRK 755.” Not really sure how that happened. [/QUOTE] The dog was speaking to you just as you looked at the license plate. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/15 "2007-06-18T16:29:13Z")
Yesterday I told my wife how I was looking forward to Fred Phelps’s next protest, when a lady in a tutu would prance by and lob a grenade at him. She was totally bewildered, until I pointed at the newspaper headline: “Ballet explodes odd cult figure.” Only it actually said “explores,” not “explodes,” so my lame joke got even lamer. Of course, another headline had a picture of the entrance sign to Billy Graham’s ministry (which is made of etched marble and has a slightly rounded top, like a gravestone) above the phrase “Role of pastor’s wife changes.” That one was pretty grim even without a misread. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/16 "2007-06-18T16:31:16Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] … “Ballet explodes odd cult figure.” Only it actually said “explores,” not “explodes,” so my lame joke got even lamer. [/QUOTE] [ot]Which ballet? and which cult figure?[/ot] ---
**Author:** ![Emilio\_Lizardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Emilio\_Lizardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emilio_Lizardo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/17 "2007-06-18T16:32:27Z")
I always wanted to stop and sample the “lesbian cuisine” I saw advertised at a local restaurant, but it turns out they only served Lebanese food. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/18 "2007-06-18T18:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] [ot]Which ballet? and which cult figure?[/ot] [/QUOTE] Terpsicorps, I think, and Edward Gorey. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/19 "2007-06-18T18:20:35Z")
All over the hills around here are signs that seem to read “In case of flash flood, climb safely” Well, I thought, ok. I might even climb safely if there is not a flash flood. On closer examination the sign actually says “In case of flash flood, climb to safety” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461/20 "2007-06-18T18:40:46Z")
[QUOTE=Left Hand of Dorkness] Terpsicorps, I think, and Edward Gorey. [/QUOTE] Oh thank Og! For a while there I thought that someone had written a ballet about Phred Phelps. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-the-sign-really-say-that/408461.md?page=2)