# Did this flight attendant overstep her bounds? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703 "2011-11-22T01:44:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/61 "2011-11-24T18:02:58Z")
My usual response to someone who asks me if I washed my hands is, “Here, smell my finger.” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/62 "2011-11-24T18:12:18Z")
Maybe she was trying to make a joke. I’m just not used to my honesty being questioned and so it took me by surprise. Also, the specific issue of hand washing… anyone who knows me well knows that I’m one of those people who probably over-washes my hands. The first thing I do when I get home is wash my hands. I wash my hands before and after touching food of any kind. I wash my hands randomly “just because.” I wash my hands after blowing my nose. I wash my hands _all the time_ and the idea that I wouldn’t wash them after touching things in an airplane bathroom, let alone after using the toilet, is just so unfathomable that it was jarring. So that probably restricted my ability to see it as a joke. Like I said, though, it didn’t make me angry or upset, it just confused me and took me by surprise. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/63 "2011-11-24T18:28:12Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > It was a joke… nobody expects you to memorize the color of the soap. Just a funny way of raising an eyebrow and saying “are you sure about that?” with the expected (and normal) response of someone chuckling. No. A joke is something with a setup and punchline. A joke is NOT intentionally making someone else feel uncomfortable so you can laugh about it. There are people who enjoy that sort of thing, but doing it to strangers is just being a dick. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/64 "2011-11-24T18:28:47Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Wrong. If she could hear the sink, she would know I _did_ wash my hands. Airplane bathrooms are gross–I wouldn’t touch anything in one without washing my hands before leaving. I did mention to her, however, that the paper towels were difficult to get out of the dispenser. Now, this is just awkward. Did you say that to her after she grilled you about the color of the soap? I mean, did you earnestly respond to her little joke with a comment about how the towels were difficult to get out? Did she respond to that like, “dude, I was joking” or did she respond to that seriously and as evidence that you really did wash your hands? **FA:** “Did you wash your hands?” \*\*Opal: \*\*“Yes” \*\*FA: \*\* “What color was the soap” \*\*Opal: \*\* “I don’t know, but the paper towels were really hard to get out of the dispenser. Really. I’m not lying, I really did wash my hands and then dry them very well, but the paper towels were packed tightly. I think the dispenser may be a bit faulty. You all should have that looked at. That paper towel dispenser. For people like me, who like to wash my hands, like all the time and stuff. Not just when we use the bathroom, but sometimes just because.” **FA:** “…” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/65 "2011-11-24T18:44:35Z")
She was trying to make conversation, engage you in a humorous back and forth. This is called ‘banter’. Look it up, as it’s clear you have no familiarity with it. It’s often at play in other places like bars, workplaces, classrooms. And, like banter practiced anywhere, there are times, when it just, well, falls flat. Sometimes it doesn’t come out the way we hope, sometimes it doesn’t garner the response we’d hoped for, sometimes it offends instead of amuses. Fortunately, people familiar with banter, understand that sometimes, that’s just how it is. They let it go and move on. Maybe you should try that. Since you’re clearly too humour challenged to see the obvious. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/66 "2011-11-24T18:52:30Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > [blather removed] Overreact much? Read your own issues into things much? Wow. Well, at least I know I don’t have to pay any heed to shit YOU say in the future. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/67 "2011-11-24T20:03:26Z")
Firstly, is it not specifically forbidden, in the rules, to change the words when quoting another post? And secondly, _ **you** _ asked what _ **we** _ thought. A question so stupid it would seem to indicate you are unfamiliar with how banter works. So I was just explaining to you. Sorry you were offended. (Not surprised you missed the humour though.) How is this my issue exactly? I’m not the one over reacting here, sweetcheeks. You’re all in a lather over whether some off hand remark was unprofessional. Really? The world’s mildest bathroom humour sets you off? Maybe you should just stay indoors. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/68 "2011-11-24T20:41:28Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > …You’re all in a lather… Heh. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/69 "2011-11-24T20:53:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Heh. Huh? (I thought you’d caught me in the dreaded your/you’re error, at first. But, not, hence the ‘Huh?’) ---
**Author:** ![Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@Acorns.but\_not\_Bacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acorns.but_not_Bacon)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/70 "2011-11-24T21:21:38Z")
I see it as the attendant was actually being earnest, maybe she has to treat passengers as children a lot of the time because they mostly act like children? In a job like that I imagine you have to be constantly user-friendly, so it’s probably just normal for her to treat passengers as if they don’t know what they’re doing? Just a theory But of course, I have no idea of the eye contact that was made, the facial expressions, the inflections in the tone of voice… And I don’t really fly…what are airplanes? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/71 "2011-11-24T21:50:00Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Huh? > > (I thought you’d caught me in the dreaded your/you’re error, at first. But, not, hence the ‘Huh?’) I was amused that you said she was ‘in a lather’. Washing hands? Soap? Lather? Get it? Har har har? Eh, nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/72 "2011-11-25T00:13:48Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Firstly, is it not specifically forbidden, in the rules, to change the words when quoting another post? She didn’t change your words. She made it explicitly clear that she removed the words in question. There’s a difference. On that note… it really wasn’t necessary to say that **OpalCat** was unfamiliar with the concept of banter. That’s overly harsh and not at all fair. I’m sure that she does understand the concept; she simply wasn’t clear on whether this flight attendant was engaging in banter or not. Based on the responses in this thread, she’s hardly alone in that regard. Personally, I readily interpreted this employee’s remark as an ill-fated attempt at humor. I can certainly understand why others would be less certain, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/73 "2011-11-25T02:01:14Z")
Do women use their hands when they pee :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/74 "2011-11-25T02:56:05Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > Do women use their hands when they pee :dubious: Yes, to hold the toilet paper because we prefer not to just shake it off and then leave a pee spot on our clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703/75 "2011-11-25T03:00:59Z")
Yes, we frown on changing words in quotes. No, there was no word-meaning changing, but it was snippy nonetheless. Both Opal and elbows need to drop it or repair to the pit if you want to tell each other what you really think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-this-flight-attendant-overstep-her-bounds/603703.md?page=3)