# Did you ever read a book so upsetting that you wish you hadn't read it at all? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 22, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622 "2005-07-22T12:43:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/21 "2005-07-22T14:59:19Z")
> [@pasunejen](#): > > Well, see, there’s this short story called “Guts” by Chuck Palahniuk… > > _shudder_ > > I’m not going to describe it. It’s been more than a year, and my boyfriend (who doesn’t seem to be affected by these things so much) still mentions it every time he wants to freak me out. > > You can google it; I’m pretty sure it’s around somewhere in full. First thing I thought of when I read the thread title. As I was reading it, I kinda knew where it was going, to a point. I was dreading it, but couldn’t stop reading. I actually read it through a squint, like a kid peeking through his fingers at a horror movie. Yes, I know how ridiculous that is, but I did it. And not only did go it to that horrible place I thought it was going, it went a step further. A big step further. For a few days I was pretty sorry I read it. Then the feeling faded. But it’ll be a longer while before I eat calimari again. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/22 "2005-07-22T15:00:56Z")
I have to agree with **LoganDear** - [The Hot Zone](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385479565/qid=1122044427/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_sbs_1/102-0377742-1060155?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) creeped me out to no end. I ALMOST wish I hadn’t read it - but just almost. Did it scare me? HELL yes. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/23 "2005-07-22T15:02:02Z")
When Ivylad was in the Navy, serving on a submarine, I picked up a Tom Clancy novel. I got about halfway through the description of a Russian sub sinking to the bottom of the ocean before I threw it across the room. I had two little ones, my husband was gone for six months, and I did not need that mental picture. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/24 "2005-07-22T15:03:46Z")
Yes, "Lets’ Go Play At the Addams.’ It’s basically a horror novel about a bunch of kids who are left alone with a babysitter one summer … one very, very unfortunate babysitter. I liked the bulk of the novel, it was a pretty good horror novel with some well developed characters … think “Turn of the Screw” or “High Wind in Jamaica.” But then the author blew the chance for a very interesting ending or resolution for the sake of a cheap shock ending. Bugged me no end to see a book that good go that bad. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/25 "2005-07-22T15:06:29Z")
When I was in grade school I got ahold of **The Exorcist**. After I was finished reading it I remember thinking that there are some things that should be off limit for kids. A few years later I read **Helter Skelter** and **In Cold Blood**. Wow. Just a few years ago my daughter had to read **The Giver** for school. It really disturbed her, and led to me reading the book for the first time. We spent hours discussing the book. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/26 "2005-07-22T15:24:06Z")
It wasn’t upsetting, it was just awful, and I do regret reading it - _Grendel_. (Sorry, I forget the author’s name.) It was supposed to be a retelling of Beowulf from Grendel’s point of view, but it was meandering, disjointed, and didn’t really hold together at all. It didn’t work. I hated it. 'Course, I read it in high school - perhaps if I read it now I’d find it better. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/27 "2005-07-22T15:25:33Z")
Hannibal. I really waited for this book to come out. When it did, I read it and threw it away. I really respect Jodie Foster for refusing to play Clarice in the movie made from it. That was just wrong. And of course, there’s the all-time bestseller that has screwed up more lives than I like to imagine: the bible. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/28 "2005-07-22T15:32:36Z")
I really thought about including Hannibal, as well. But I have to admit that if Harris had stayed true to Starling’s character, I could have gotten past the gross stuff. I was angry for days after finishing that. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/29 "2005-07-22T15:59:13Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I read (and I hate to give it even this much airplay) a book a few years ago for a book discussion group that was, IMO, pure evil. Ironically, it was a fundamentalist “Christian” book about the end times. Not the Left Behind series, which are just poorly written and rather silly. I don’t remember the author’s name. It was an online book (not sure if that terminology is correct)–each copy is printed as the orders come in. We, as a book group, refused to buy 10 copies, so we passed one copy around. > > I do not believe in burning books as a policy. I believe in freedom of speech. > > If that book had been mine, I would have burned it straight away. > > It was titled, “We All Fall Down”. (no, I am not giving it italics, like a real book-it does not deserve the respect that other books get). It was the most malicious, soul destroying book I have ever read. It disrespected Mankind, the Earth, all major religions, animals–all good on the Earth was smeared with foulness. > > I was so upset about this man’s version of the apocalypse (which, BTW, I don’t even believe in) that I talked to my pastor about it. He said something that has stood me in good stead whenever the fundamentalists start their decreeing and decrying. He said, “If there is no redemption, if there is no growth, no mercy, no lightening of suffering, no matter how small or how harshly learned, then it is not a Christian book.” > > To me, it exemplifies all that is wrong with fundamentalist religion. Forgive me if that seems rather generalized. I have not yet found it incorrect. As a Rapture-fiction fan, I’ve actually been looking forward to reading this- it’s gotten rave reviews on Amazon as one of the few Rapture-novels willing to look at the full dark grittiness & hard questions about the Apocalypse. IIRC, the author’s name is Brian Caldwell. The best overall I’ve read so far is James BeauSeigneur’s THE CHRIST CLONE TRILOGY. A real interesting & dark/gritty take is Mark Rogers THE DEAD- the twists: all good devout people go in the Rapture, not just C’tians (in fact, many seemingly decent ones DON’T go) and those left behind are besieged by demon-controlled cannibalistic zombies. Yep- it’s LEFT BEHIND IN THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. But if I find that I do agree with you about “We All…”, you did your best to warn us! A REALLY horrid misanthropic one is Ernest Angeley’s RAPTURED- its stories of Christian martyrdaom by the AntiChrist are so exquisitely detailed, you’d have to have a heart of stone to read them without laughing out loud.\* \*borrowed from Oscar Wilde’s comments about Dickens’ death of “Little Nell”. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/30 "2005-07-22T16:05:22Z")
Now, my own contribution- a novel that came out in England & I saw around 1985 or 1986- called DEAREST or DARLING. Cab driver falls for a model, she has sex with him & gets pregnant, she either is going to have an abortion or is cheating on him or something, but anyway, he kills her & mummifies her & the fetus in elaborate detail, then contributes to a Coptic monastery so they will pray for his “wife & child”, as he figures they are the closest thing to ancient Egyptian priests. Just horrid. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/31 "2005-07-22T16:11:11Z")
I was entirely too young to be reading such things when I picked up Joe McGinniss’s [_Fatal Vision_](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0451165667/qid=1122048499/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_ur_2_1/103-6791321-3176664). Had it been fiction, well, that would have been one thing. But seeing as how the murders in question took place shortly before I was born, on the same military base where I was born (Fort Bragg), and involved a father who had been a Green Beret (just like mine)…too creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/32 "2005-07-22T16:11:55Z")
_[The Case of Lucy Bending](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0399127240/qid=1122048366/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-7779432-3528105?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)_, by Lawrence Sanders. His books in general, but particularly the “Deadly Sins” ones, are creepy enough, but this one was over-the-top disturbing, culminating in a 9-year-old girl being shot to death while on her knees giving head to a grown man. Vile, disgusting trash. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/33 "2005-07-22T16:16:55Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > It wasn’t upsetting, it was just awful, and I do regret reading it - _Grendel_. (Sorry, I forget the author’s name.) It was supposed to be a retelling of Beowulf from Grendel’s point of view, but it was meandering, disjointed, and didn’t really hold together at all. It didn’t work. I hated it. John Gardner. ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/34 "2005-07-22T16:25:39Z")
I’m a life-long book lover. I have a library that surpasses smaller bookshops. I’ve read them all… and I only regret reading ONE book. I picked up and read “Sybil” at about age 12. Jeez… The images in that book haunt me to this day. It’s the only book I regret ever having read. Even finding out that its veracity is in question later on in life… I’m still haunted by the images. ☹ Gaah. I need to go read some comic books now to wash the memories from my head… ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![chefjef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@chefjef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chefjef)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/35 "2005-07-22T16:30:09Z")
I’d have to answer this by saying OH yes…two come to mind: **In Cold Blood** **Heard of Darkness** And I’ll add that the movie, **Adaptation** also disturbed me so much I wished I had never seen it… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/36 "2005-07-22T16:31:21Z")
No, I’ve always found books rewarding enough to read (or I don’t finish them). But possible candidates for still haunting me years after I read them: Sophie’s Choice - did the same - movie and book, and it still haunts me. The Man Who Fell In Love with the Moon. Such a beautiful book. So disturbing. Oryx and Crake. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/37 "2005-07-22T16:32:32Z")
_Jude the Obscure_ by Hardy ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/38 "2005-07-22T16:34:40Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > I looked for more books by Roald Dahl. I found a collection of short stories that now after almost 40 years are remembered as being disturbing and distasteful. I have no interest in even attemptiing to re-read them at this point. I love a lot of Dahl’s short stories, but some of them certainly _are_ disturbing and distasteful. I’m thinking in particular of “Royal Jelly” Impotent beekeeper secretly drinks huge amounts of royal jelly (bee-produced supervitamin) in order to impregnate his wife, then feeds the same stuff to his sickly infant girl, essentially turning her into a huge slug and "William and Mary."Dying man agrees to participate in a medical experiment in which his living brain (and one eye) are kept alive in a jar. His nasty wife decides to take him home, and we’re left to fantasize about what sorts of unpleasantnesses may be inflicted upon a living brain (and one eye) in a jar ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/39 "2005-07-22T16:35:43Z")
I don’t remember the name of the book, as I got it from my brother, who is into sex/horror books, or whatever that category is called. It was a book of short stories, by different authors, IIRC. Some of them rose, in various degrees, toward disturbing, but I was somewhat inured to them, having borrowed such books from my brother over the years (hmmm, guess that means I’m into sex/horror fiction, too. _heh_). The story that made me put down the book, never to pick it up again (although I did finish the story in question), was, I think, _Matchstick Woman_. Disgusting events that turned my stomach more than anything else I can recall. Surpassing the cross scene from _The Exorcist_ (read behind my parents’ back when I was 12 or so) or Stephen King’s story about the surgeon stranded on an island in the middle of the ocean with a medical bag and a bag of cocaine or heroin, and no food. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622/40 "2005-07-22T16:36:49Z")
I’ve read many of the books mentioned here and enjoyed them. I must be thick-skinned (or thick-brained). 🙂 Two books disturbed me so badly, I couldn’t keep them in the house. **A Prayer for the Dying** by Stewart O’Nan and **The Painted Bird** by Jerzy Kosinski (sp). With Bird, it didn’t even help when I found out that he made most of it up. Those images are in my head forever. A short story that will give you nightmares is **Stick Woman** by (I think) Edward Lee. It bothers me that someone imagined this and write it down. ::shudder:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-ever-read-a-book-so-upsetting-that-you-wish-you-hadnt-read-it-at-all/313622.md?page=3)