# Did you expect the wolf to slap you five? Dumbshit! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560 "2003-11-16T16:43:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/1 "2003-11-16T16:43:45Z")
According to [this newspaper article](http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-girl14.html) an idjit at the zoo stuck her paw through the fence of an enclosure for a northern gray wolf, and the wolf did what wolves are wont to do. :rolleyes: IMHO the idjit got what she deserved-I’m angry about a lovely critter being capped as a result. What aspect of “wild animal” has escaped your grasp? ---
**Author:** ![Matchka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Matchka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matchka)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/2 "2003-11-16T16:50:32Z")
Reminds me of that silly Aussie lady that fed herself to the polar bear. People are cool. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/3 "2003-11-16T16:52:19Z")
According to the account in the _Chicago Tribune_, the wolf was elderly, probably unable to clearly understand what was happening due to aging senses, and felt threatened by being “attacked” in their sleeping area. Poor old wolf. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Stoneburg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Stoneburg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoneburg)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/4 "2003-11-16T17:01:42Z")
German tourist in safari park, getting out of the car to “re-arrange” the tiger cubs inot a more photogenic pose is my favorite. Mama Tiger wasn’t as impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/5 "2003-11-16T17:12:15Z")
Chalk it down to another case of the gene pool needing some chlorine… Many, many more examples [here](http://www.darwinawards.com/) ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/6 "2003-11-16T18:07:50Z")
There should be some way to bring her up on charges. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/7 "2003-11-16T20:01:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoneburg \* > \*\*German tourist in safari park, getting out of the car to “re-arrange” the tiger cubs inot a more photogenic pose is my favorite. Mama Tiger wasn’t as impressed. \*\* Can I see a cite for that? I’m not being snarky, I swear! I recognize some of the other stories being listed, but not that one. I’d like to read the news artcile if it’s archived somewhere. It reminds me of an incident here in Ontario (there is a safari style park with lions), though no one was hurt. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/8 "2003-11-16T20:11:40Z")
Maybe she thought the wolf was her grandmother. I know. I’m lame. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/9 "2003-11-16T20:16:51Z")
Another reason why some people just shouldn’t be allowed around the rest of nature. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/10 "2003-11-16T20:47:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoneburg \* > \*\*German tourist in safari park, getting out of the car to “re-arrange” the tiger cubs inot a more photogenic pose is my favorite. Mama Tiger wasn’t as impressed. \*\* That’s just got to be bull crap. Tiger cubs (and Mama) would be closely monitored at all times in an enclosed environment. Even if that part wasn’t true, I’m sure tigers don’t keep their young next to paved roads. For a fairly complete list of animal attacks in the last seven years, just [click here](http://www.igorilla.com/gorilla/animal/). ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/11 "2003-11-16T21:16:15Z")
It’s fairly sad when attacks at zoos become so common that the Darwin Awards reject them. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/12 "2003-11-16T21:23:30Z")
And people still expect the best of other people… ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/13 "2003-11-16T21:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*That’s just got to be bull crap. Tiger cubs (and Mama) would be closely monitored at all times in an enclosed environment. Even if that part wasn’t true, I’m sure tigers don’t keep their young next to paved roads. \*\* I don’t know about tigers, but I was watching a Discovery Channel (or TLC, can’t remember) about cheetahs and they showed, _on camera_, a fucking-stupid-fucker of a safari guide driver back over cheetah kittens while trying to position the vehicle so that the tourists could take better pictures of the cheetah mom. He killed two of the three kittens and his tourists were wailing. They edited out the actual squashing, but they did show the dead kittens. The safari jeep and the camera crew weren’t any paved road at all, but were driving over the grasslands. Everyone was horrified, excep the so-called “guide” who just shrugged. So depending on the nature of the safari park and whether or not they are regulated with actual rangers --or just stupid guys who can work a stick shift – I think it _would_ be possible for an utter moron get that close to big cats. But that’s also why I wanted to see the article. For the context. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/14 "2003-11-16T23:24:32Z")
Although the safari guide driver should be the next helping of hyena chow, it is plausible that momma cat retreated from her babies when the nasty smelling bipeds arrived. I wouldn’t have believed a momma would leave babies until I read [this article](http://helenair.com/articles/2003/11/02/montana_top/a01110203_04.txt) earlier in the month. I wish I could ^5 that fellow. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/15 "2003-11-17T00:11:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Reminds me of that silly Aussie lady that fed herself to the polar bear. > > People are cool. [http://bobatkins.photo.net/info/binky.htm](http://bobatkins.photo.net/info/binky.htm) His name was Binky. Unfortunately, both he and his mate died from a mysterious viral infection several years ago. At fairs and mall kiosks across the state after the infamous “Binky incident” one could buy t-shirts with Binky’s “tennis shoe in the mouth” photo, and the caption “Sometimes you feel like a nut…” What was even worse was the two teenagers trying to get into the cage several weeks after the incident. Cool? :D, is that an acronym for idiot? To the aussie lady’s credit, in an interview from her hospital bed, she apologized and said she realized that it was a dumb thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/16 "2003-11-17T01:12:50Z")
I used to be a volunteer wolf docent at a wildlife park. I have had to remove people from the chainlink areas myself – nothing physical, just my old school teacher mean look usually did the trick. Fortunately, the wolves were too intelligent to go near these slack-jawed yokels. I understand why they had to shoot the wolf, but I think that she should have to pay the expenses of replacing it. (They should have more than one wolf anyway, imo.) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/17 "2003-11-17T01:30:55Z")
It also reminds of the tiger (IIRC) in the Baghdad Zoo which took the arm off a US soldier (who had helpfully put it inside the cage) and was then shot by another soldier for, well, acting like a tiger. Dipshits. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/18 "2003-11-17T02:32:06Z")
If I were a wild animal, and someone was sticking his hand in my face, I’d bite them. There was this dumb bitch in Pittsburgh a few years ago who decided she could pet an Amazon river dolphin named Chuckles. She had to climb up on a stone wall, push aside a gate, and reach in to pet him. Chuckles grabbed hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go. Silly bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/19 "2003-11-17T03:20:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by danceswithcats \* > **Although the safari guide driver should be the next helping of hyena chow, it is plausible that momma cat retreated from her babies when the nasty smelling bipeds arrived.** Oh, on the Discovery (or TLC) show, the momma cat was right there the whole time, she was in fact very, very, close. She was trying to interfere and protect her babies, but she was hesitating – (she may have been confused about where the jeep ended and where the squishy, pink bipeds started). The tourists were photographing the mom _and_ the babies, but the rat bastard “guide” went for a bigger tip by trying to pull up right next to the mom. He didn’t even try to determine where the kitten nest was, he just moved the jeep right over them. I almost started to cry when the TV camera zoomed in on the lifeless kittens. In any case, any one of those tourists _could_ have gotten out of the jeep (at which point I’m sure momma would’ve gone for the kill.) Forget about hyena show, I want the driver smothered in honey and handed over to fire ants! ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560/20 "2003-11-17T03:27:31Z")
And I wanna see the Binky photo! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-expect-the-wolf-to-slap-you-five-dumbshit/213560.md?page=2)