# Did you just fart?! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 7, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067 "2004-10-07T18:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/41 "2004-10-08T03:44:12Z")
I never played that game as a youngster. Now I feel deprived. Do you think it would be as much fun if I played it as an old fart? ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/42 "2004-10-08T03:56:02Z")
Oh absoulutely! Next time you are in a department store try it out and report back to us…it works, IIRC, best when accompanied by an angelic smile… kinda like this ----\> 🙂 they will know you are up to “no good” if you do too much of this ----\> 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/43 "2004-10-08T06:40:59Z")
> [@Cardboard BOX](#): > > If only people realized it’s perfectly ok to fart/burp/sneeze. It’s not your fault the way the body expels gas happens to be smelly or noisy. Or funny, because farts are jokes… jokes that come out of your ass. If one doesn’t think they’re funny, it’s because one _just doesn’t get it!_ Here, allow me to explain it to those who are still missing it: _brrrt!_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/44 "2004-10-08T06:49:17Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I’ve heard of it, but using “penis.” > > Basically, you say the word “penis” very quietly. The other person says it slightly louder. Then you say it even louder. This continues getting louder and louder, until you’re both practically yelling it, presumably in a library or restaurant or somewhere else that yelling “penis” is considered somewhat inappropriate. The one who first gets a dirty look loses. Or wins. Doesn;t really matter. What matters is that you’re yelling “penis.” > > It’s stupid, immature, and pointless, and it’s a damn good lot of fun. I thought it was ‘you say it louder until someone loses his nerve and stops.’ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/45 "2004-10-08T07:48:58Z")
I read a blurb on the health page of one of those newspaper insert magazines, once, that claimed that ‘studies’ had determined that the average person farted 10 times on average in an average day. \*How could you possibly DO that study? \* What kind of protocol would be acceptable to ensure accuracy? I can’t think of one I’d trust. Self reporting is out. I don’t even want to try thinking of an automatic counting mechanism. Methane sensor? _shiver_ I don’t believe a word of it. But it has caused an entry into my family’s phrase lexicon: “I’m feeling above average today”. Yes, I truly have above average children. There have been poems written. . . well. . . limericks. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/46 "2004-10-08T11:39:19Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Oh, yes you do. In fact, some of the worst, most foul smelling gaseous clouds have emanated from the anal cavities of people of the female persuasion. . . . now I wonder who persuaded them to be female? ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/47 "2004-10-08T12:17:33Z")
> [@smartini](#): > > but we did take turns saying “Fuck you very much” to annoyed salesladies (usually after we had tried all the cosmetics at the dept store counter) and see who could say it the _plainest_ and still have the saleslady look at us quizzically like…“did she say _Thank you very much?_ or something else?” Once again I realised that I don’t have a poker face at all. I just tried saying that to myself, but the mere thought of saying it to a person and then going “I said thank you very much, what did you hear?” made me grin. Can’t use that one in real life or at least not without long hours of practice. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/48 "2004-10-08T13:14:30Z")
> [@rolandgunslinger](#): > > Yeah but…Fart sounds are soooo funny. 😃 > > My mother in law once sneezed AND farted at the same time. > It doesnt get much funnier than that. My mom does that all the time. We all find it hysterical each and every time it happens. She’s even done it in front of my stepmother and my father’s daughter from a subsequent marriage. The more inappropriate the audience, the funnier it is. I’m hoping it will happen at a book signing featuring President Carter. ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/49 "2004-10-08T13:39:42Z")
I was in a dive bar with some friends sitting right near the stage, and dropped a rose. It was so foul, the band stopped playing and the singer looked around at his band-mates mumbling, “Who farted?” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/50 "2004-10-08T13:49:15Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I was bored in the Library once. I smelled something odd (not stinky, just odd) and saw a very prim looking woman nearby. I asked her, “_sniff_ did you just fart?” and the blood just seemed to drain out of her face . . . You know, you can make the blood drain from a total, inoffensive stranger’s face in a public place just as easily (and amusingly, too!) if you just walked up to her and slit her throat with a switchblade. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/51 "2004-10-08T17:04:02Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > After that, nobody wanted to play against me in that game 🙂 I think that your problem is that you’re competing. Tits is a game where everyone works together. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067/52 "2004-10-08T22:09:19Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > I think that your problem is that you’re competing. Tits is a game where everyone works together. Hmmm. I always enjoyed the game played one-on-one with an attractive female. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/did-you-just-fart/268067.md?page=2)