# Didn't we have a dumb criminals thread somewhere?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 15, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788 "2006-06-15T10:28:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788/1 "2006-06-15T10:28:28Z")

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If we did, then [this guy](http://www.fortbendnow.com/news/1295/ice-cream-request-adds-to-drivers-legal-trouble) might be eligible to be included.

> [@](#):
>
> As Bentley prepared to arrest the man for the [traffic] violations, “Martinez advised Bentley he wished he could have eaten the banana split he just bought,” police reports said…
> 
> “Upon investigation, Bentley observed an unusual topping on the banana split,” police reports stated. “Martinez tried to hide two rocks of crack cocaine in the banana split before he was stopped.”…

:smack:

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**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788/2 "2006-06-15T10:45:08Z")

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Ooo, dumb criminal! I love these- I’ve got a book somewhere around called _The Return of Heroic Failures_. It includes a pair of youths in Bristol who pried a box off the wall of a grocer’s, and took it home- only to discover it ringing irritatingly. They tried everything to make it stop, but, in the end, dumped it in the river.

They’d stolen the burglar alarm.

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**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788/3 "2006-06-15T11:12:18Z")

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[Stupid criminal of the day](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=375719) thread.

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**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/didnt-we-have-a-dumb-criminals-thread-somewhere/360788/4 "2006-07-12T00:59:10Z")

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If you steal stuff, try to sell said stuff on eBay and manage to include pictures of your [tattooed toes](http://www.sptimes.com/2006/05/04/Northpinellas/It_was_his_toes_that_.shtml), then you deserve a special reward.