# Die Barbie Die **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329 "2005-12-19T19:18:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/21 "2005-12-20T01:03:05Z")
I used to play Chappaquidick Barbie. They’d drive the Dream Car into the bathtub and Ken would swim away, leaving Barbie trapped and blowing bubbles (which did if you squeezed her head underwater). A friend of mine confessed to playing Kennedy Assassination Barbie (Midge played Jackie). But in this version, the motorcade went off a cliff (the dining-room table) instead of to Parkland Memorial Hospital. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/22 "2005-12-20T02:03:12Z")
I _knew_ there was a reason not to let GI Joes associate with my cousin’s Barbies. They preserved their Precious Bodily Fluids and survived without burns, decapitations or piercings. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/23 "2005-12-20T02:14:31Z")
When I was about 8 I got in trouble for drawing nipples and vaginal hair on one of my sister’s Barbie dolls. This was back in the day before the molded on panties. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/24 "2005-12-20T02:30:30Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > This was back in the day before the molded on panties. I am proud that I didn’t know Barbie had glued on panties. Proud. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/25 "2005-12-20T03:00:10Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Well, let’s examine possible causes … > > 1. Do you have an older brother? > 2. Did you have a tendency to destroy _other_ toys? > 3. Did you have the cool car and lots of Kens? > > In my case, the answers are yes, yes, and no. I believe the two yeses had a great deal to do with my Barbiecide. Yes. No. Yes. I never destroyed any of my barbies - I have them all in a shoebox, along with their complete outfits, including shoes. I also have a bunch of fancy dress up outfits for them in there that I used to dress my barbies in and send them off to a fancy ball. Yes, I’m a freak. ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/26 "2005-12-20T03:17:06Z")
I have two younger sisters, no brothers, and we owned every single Barbie accessory/car/outfit/house/friend/sister/boyfriend there was. And we \*still \*tortured them. But I never for an instant had any desire to do that to any of my other toys. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/27 "2005-12-20T03:19:37Z")
Oh man. I was Sid-like in my doll torture. Glad to see I’m not the only one. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/28 "2005-12-20T03:39:07Z")
The only thing my sister and I ever did in the way of mutilation to our Barbies was chew on their feet. (Yes, I know we’re weird.) We also had a Ken doll briefly, and his role was to be secretary to the high-powered executive Barbies, who would then sexually harass him. Poor Ken was always exhausted, having to service all the Barbies, although we did have some lesbian Barbies too. Well, I did, anyway; my sister was grossed out by the idea. Later we got some Jem Dolls, with the odd purple-haired male doll Rio. He took over from Ken. Were we the only ones who did that? ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/29 "2005-12-20T03:44:22Z")
My sister and I “jointly” owned our Barbies, so we never mutilated them because we hated each other and couldn’t agree on anything. (And mom’s punishments _always_ fit the crime, so it wasn’t worth it to risk getting punished.) We did drown them repeatedly – remember how long it took for all the water to drip out of Barbie? Really, though, neither of us was in it for the Barbies; we built Barbie a “house” out of moving boxes lined with carpet scraps. We used scrap lumber to build furniture and scrap cloth to makes curtains, tablecloths, clothes, etc. In retrospect, we really only needed Barbie so that we could justify building a home for her. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/30 "2005-12-20T07:09:43Z")
…the Google ad I see is for HPV pictures; “see pictures of HPV as genital warts” or some such. How the heck does that relate to Die Barbie Die?! 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/31 "2005-12-20T07:16:46Z")
Yep. Barbie was a fashion doll, and I had no qualms about gluing or pinning pieces of fabric or glittrey ornaments to her plastic skin. I’ve done things to Barbie I wouldn’t have dreamt of doing to my stuffed animals. _Those_ I loved. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/32 "2005-12-20T08:05:31Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Barbie’s Dream House was melted to the ground by Darth Vader and a couple stormtroopers, in my house. (And I was in _trou-ble_!!) These are not the boobies your looking for Declan ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/33 "2005-12-20T08:06:08Z")
> [@auRa](#): > > …the Google ad I see is for HPV pictures; “see pictures of HPV as genital warts” or some such. How the heck does that relate to Die Barbie Die?! 😕 On the other hand they had one for “Crime Scene Clean Up” that seemed strangely appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/34 "2005-12-20T08:44:52Z")
Someone posted this picture on another message board Maenad Barbie [http://www.fjkluth.com/g.d/dancing\_maenad.jpg](http://www.fjkluth.com/g.d/dancing_maenad.jpg) _When will I lift my naked feet In the night-long dance of Bakkhic frenzy And toss my head to the dewy sky?_ and for you literature lovers, it inspired me to rewrite _The Bacchae_ by Euripides: Pentheus, I mean _KEN_theus, disguises himself in Barbie’s clothes (she isn’t wearing them now), and goes to look for her. She mistakes him for a mountain lion, slays him with her bare hands, and carries off his head as a trophy. Since Ken has a detachable head, it would be easy to stage this. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/35 "2005-12-20T11:29:43Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Barbie’s Dream House was melted to the ground by Darth Vader and a couple stormtroopers, in my house. (And I was in _trou-ble_!!) > > But not before Barbie was stabbed, sliced, melted, drawn on, dismembered, and all sorts of other indignities. It’s really a childhood rite-of-passage, I think. I don’t know anybody who survived being a kid with _all_ her Barbies intact. _I_ survived with my Barbies intact. Both of 'em. One of them was a present. I don’t think I broke _any_ toys, actually, besides my two G. I. Joes. I wuvved those G. I. Joes and carried them everywhere. They were like dolls to me, except I preferred them to dolls because you could stick them in your pocket and take 'em everywhere and they had more joints. I played with them like dolls. Ever tried playing house with G. I. Joes? You’d be amazed how dodgy it can get. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/36 "2005-12-20T12:00:16Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > The only thing my sister and I ever did in the way of mutilation to our Barbies was chew on their feet. (Yes, I know we’re weird.) My sis and I did that too, but I think it was related to our nail-biting back then. Our Barbies also got their ears pierced with straight pins, spent a lot of time naked, and got tied up and stuff too. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/37 "2005-12-20T13:08:23Z")
> [@h. sapiens](#): > > It’s only fair that Barbie should come in for her share of torture, considering what boys put the GI Joe dolls through. GI Joe is not a doll! He’s an _action figure_. Two of my sister’s Ken dolls (not an action figure) we’re put to death because they were commie spies. Thus did GI Joe the _action figure_ keep the world safe for democracy. Man, did Ken blow up real good with a firecracker or two stuck up his butt! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/38 "2005-12-20T13:14:08Z")
I just wanted to chime in and say that I find this thread weird. I asked Pepper Mill if she did any of this, and she said no – and neither did any of her friends. MiliCal certainly isn’t doing it – I’d find evidence (Milli is realy bad about cleaning up. She couldn’t commit the perfect crime – she could plan it, but if it involved cleaning up, she could never execute it.) I don’t recall anything to indicate that any kids I knew growing up were doing it. G.I. Joe abuse certainly did take place – I heard stories about firecrackers being taped to them. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/39 "2005-12-20T13:51:58Z")
I didn’t blow up my Barbies or anything; I was kind of uninterested in them. The main interest they held for me was, they had lovely blond straight hair and I had a head full of unruly brown curly hair. It was fun to style their hair while I still hated mine. Now I wouldn’t trade mine for the world, of course. I like my My Little Ponies way better…I even had the castle! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329/40 "2005-12-20T14:00:45Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > GI Joe is not a doll! He’s an _action figure_. Two of my sister’s Ken dolls (not an action figure) we’re put to death because they were commie spies. Thus did GI Joe the _action figure_ keep the world safe for democracy. > > Man, did Ken blow up real good with a firecracker or two stuck up his butt! 😃 “Rectum”. :rolleyes: 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-barbie-die/336329.md?page=3)