# Die gibbon girls, die! A Cranky thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291 "2001-01-22T18:00:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/21 "2001-01-24T06:06:44Z")
I think Alanis has stated in interviews that, while “You Oughtan Know” isn’t about one man in particular, Dave Coulier likes to _think_ it’s all about him. Horrifying realization…if Coulier and Alanis went out for a while, then it’s entirely probably that, at some point in his life, _Dave Coulier has had sex_. He has had the potential to breed. This must never happen again. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/22 "2001-01-24T06:08:05Z")
> [@](#): > > “You Oughtan Know” And I “Oughta” know that preview is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/23 "2001-01-24T18:43:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juniper200 \* > Dave Coulier likes to _think_ it’s all about him. Wait, isn’t that a different song? (\*Wanders off, humming: \*Clouds in my coffee . . . Clouds in my coffeee. . .\*\*) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/24 "2001-01-24T21:16:06Z")
Ugh…I caught a bit of that Mary Kate’s and Ashley’s Adventures this morning on some channel-Disney? Fox Family? They sing these stupid songs with their friends…but they can’t. fucking. sing. What I always hated about Full House is that it was so perfect. Oh, you took drugs? It’s okay, honey, we know you’re sorry…we still love you! And N4S-I can’t BELIEVE I remember this shit, but Joey and Danny were friends since gradeschool, when they stood up to a bully and buried a time capsule with Joey’s insult book and Danny’s yankees cap. Then they invite Jesse to come along and they rebury it along with Jesse’s hair dryer. ARGH! Another pair I hate: Tia and Tamera Mowry. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/25 "2001-01-24T22:16:37Z")
re: Alanis Morrissette - she has her own monkey look going on - maybe a screech-monkey 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stella\_Fantasia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@Stella\_Fantasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stella_Fantasia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/26 "2001-01-25T15:45:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*re: Alanis Morrissette - she has her own monkey look going on - maybe a screech-monkey 🙂 \*\* A monkey with a giant ugly mouth & stringy hair. Honestly, can’t the woman afford a bottle of shampoo & a hairdryer? & for more info on “You Oughta Know” & Dave Coulier, check out [http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/oughta.htm](http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/oughta.htm). ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/27 "2001-01-25T19:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juniper200 \* > \*\*I think Alanis has stated in interviews that, while “You Oughtan Know” isn’t about one man in particular, Dave Coulier likes to _think_ it’s all about him. > > Horrifying realization…if Coulier and Alanis went out for a while, then it’s entirely probably that, at some point in his life, _Dave Coulier has had sex_. He has had the potential to breed. This must never happen again. \*\* I think it’s scarier that **Alanis Morrisette** had sex. Actually, true story, but I knew Alanis Morrissette when she was still a cable-TV-star-disco-queen in Canada, through a friend of mine who dated her a few times. She was much prettier then, probably because she remembered to wash her hair. I liked her dance music more than her screech music, too. I would characterize her more as a [howler monkey](http://www.hoglezoo.org/mammals/howler.htm). Getting back to the issue of the Gibbon Girls, is there anyone more despicable? I mean, cloying, yecchy kids in bad TV shows are bad enough, but I can’t think of ANY child actors worse than the Olsen-Gibbon Twins. Even Macaulay Culkin is better. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/28 "2001-01-27T21:45:16Z")
What’s with all this Alanis Morrissette(sp?) bashing? _I_ would have sex with her. Of, course I’m can’t afford to be choosy these days, but still… As for the Gibbon Twins and what **RickJay** said, I agree Macaulay Culkin is nowhere near as bad. He never depended on “cuteness,” but actually acted a little bit. Plus, he made a movie (“The Good Son”) wherein he tried to kill someone. Gibbon Girls never did that. Maybe when the Olsen twins get real old they can have their own show called “The Gibbon Girls.” Kind of like “The Golden Girls,” but even more objectionable. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/29 "2001-01-29T07:18:09Z")
**RickJay** I don’t think I’ve said this lately, but you are the man. Not just any man, but _ **the** _ man. Of course, seeing as how I have a 9 year old sister and that I’m exposed to them constantly, my name is all over that petition. And now, just because I’m feeling evil, let me take you all on a trip down memory lane, with the opening song lyrics for Full House… “What ever happened to predictibility? The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV…” ::thunk:: Hey!! Who threw that? I was only kidding! I may be evil, but I’m not _that_ evil… ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/30 "2001-01-29T13:43:26Z")
loading shotgun. chk-chk. I am the Angel of Death. The time of purification is at hand. I swear. I’m just waiting for the “Ashley and Mary-Freaking-Kate have an accident in a sawmill” film. sample script Ashley: wow, Mary-freaking-Kate, its great that we were invited to this abandoned, rat infested saw mill. Mary-freaking-Kate: Get real Ashley, Abandoned Sawmills are so _passe_ suddenly, the walkway gives way and the 2 are last seen being hurled into a rusty wood chipper. both: AARRGGGGHHH!! AARRRRGGGHH! fin. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/31 "2001-01-29T15:12:53Z")
**Ashley and Mary-Freakin-Kate Films The SDMB Would Like To See** Ashley and Mary-Kate Have An Accident In a Sawmill Ashley and Mary-Kate in the Women’s Maximum Security Prison Ashley and Mary-Kate Take a Wrong Turn in a Slaughterhouse Ashley and Mary-Kate Visit the Branch Davidian Compound Ashley and Mary-Kate: Biker Gang Sex Slaves! Ashley and Mary-Kate Try To Sail A Leaky Boat Through a Force Ten Gale Ashley And Mary-Kate Visit A Ugandan Village And Get Ebola, But Can’t Get Any Medical Help Because Africans Hate “Full House” Just As Much As We Do Ashley and Mary-Kate Just Get the Bejeezus Whomped Out Of Them By Four Big Guys With Bats Ashley and Mary-Kate In The Crack House Ashley and Mary-Kate’s Tribute To “Saving Private Ryan” - With Real Bullets! ---
**Author:** ![TWTCommish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@TWTCommish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWTCommish)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/32 "2001-02-02T13:44:45Z")
Check it out…Dave Coulier’s official site, 9th question from the top: [http://www.cutitout.net/html/questions.html](http://www.cutitout.net/html/questions.html) I think it’s about him…seems obvious. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291/33 "2001-02-02T17:38:24Z")
The fact that Dave Coulier is allowed to have a web site at all is a Sign of the Apocalypse ™. One of the stores I work in sells Mary-Kate and Ashley Dolls. They’re uglier than the actual girls are. They don’t sell much, either. Robin [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/die-gibbon-girls-die-a-cranky-thread/51291.md?page=1)