# "Died surrounded by family and friends" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697 "2004-06-10T20:20:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/21 "2004-06-11T01:27:10Z")
Sorry about that humongous venting paragraph. Now that I see it posted I think it should have been a journal entry instead of a post. I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![jastu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@jastu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jastu)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/22 "2004-06-11T02:47:33Z")
No apologies necessary **AbbySthrnAccent**. I’m sorry for your loss. Dying can sometimes be quite unpleasant and I wouldn’t want to leave that lasting image etched in the minds of my loved ones. No, I’d definitely rather be alone. However, I would have no qualms or reservations about being with any of my friends or relatives when their time came. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/23 "2004-06-11T04:21:33Z")
I have a feeling that I’m very likely to be surrounded by friends and family when I die, just like Caesar was. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/24 "2004-06-11T04:27:25Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I want to be awake and surrounded by loved ones when the time comes. With my last breath, I want to reach out, touch someone… > > Shout “You’re it!” then die. 😃 A-hem, Part II. "Remember what I told you. Only you and I know where it’s buried!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/25 "2004-06-11T04:31:43Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > "Remember what I told you. Only you and I know where it’s buried!! It’s under a big W, I tells ya. A big W. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/26 "2004-06-11T04:55:09Z")
When I die, I want to be “surrounded by friends and family” in the same sense that other people die “surrounded by cops.” ---
**Author:** ![mamakat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@mamakat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamakat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/27 "2004-06-11T07:57:32Z")
When my mom died, my dad and my little brother and I sat with her for the last 4 hours of her life. She was in a coma and didn’t know we were there, and her tongue was discolored from all the pills she hadn’t been able to swallow, which freaked me out. The death rattle freaked me out to, and I wouldn’t let my dad cover her face before the mortuary people came. Needless to say, it was very traumatic for a 15 year old. But had I not been with her when she died, I would have always regretted it. I don’t want to deny my loved ones of that opportunity when I die. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/28 "2004-06-11T09:48:09Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Me, I’m like dying elephants and Garbo—I vant to be alone. I don’t like people hovering around when I am sick or depressed or even tired. I certainly don’t want people crowding by my deathbed (“Is she still alive?” “Look, she’s drooling!” “Is she dead _yet?_”). I want to die alone and full of morphine, thanks. > > Am I the only one? No, and in fact I was thinking about that very thing just the other day. There’s something about it that seems so ultimately personal and private. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/29 "2004-06-11T10:19:45Z")
You’re born alone you might as well die alone… except I think I want to at least _begin_ dying with close, loved ones around. Then, as the time is drawing near, if I can not take it and I feel the pain must be borne only by myself, I will ask my friends to please leave. That is the way I think it should go. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/30 "2004-06-11T13:12:57Z")
> [@I Love Me](#): > > You’re born alone you might as well die alone… 😕 Worst case scenario, there’s at least _one_ other person there… for the past century or so, you can add a doctor and a couple nurses, too… ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/31 "2004-06-11T13:19:07Z")
I hope to die peacefully in my sleep, so I hope that my wife is lying by my side when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I sleep so soundly now that it may take a bit for her to notice that anything’s amiss. If I’ve been ill and am fading fast, I want my wife and daughter there with me. I very much want to be able to tell them goodbye and that I’ll always be with them wherever they go. I’m an extrovert in life, I expect I’ll be the same as I’m dying. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/32 "2004-06-11T13:43:20Z")
> [@I Love Me](#): > > You’re born alone you might as well die alone… Let me guess . . . you didn’t send anyone a card on May 9, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/33 "2004-06-11T13:49:05Z")
After my father’s death, I resolved never to die at all … I could not, in good conscience, saddle my nearest and dearest with all that bloody paperwork. Failing that, I’d like someone to be around to catch my last words and dispose of the remains hygienically, but I don’t want to make an _occasion_ out of it … even if I could sell tickets, I’m damned if I can see how I’d collect the proceeds. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/34 "2004-06-11T14:11:43Z")
I guess I’ll be the smell coming from apartment 5. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/35 "2004-06-11T14:24:12Z")
> [@Steve Wright](#): > > Failing that, I’d like someone to be around to catch my last words and dispose of the remains hygienically, but I don’t want to make an _occasion_ out of it … even if I could sell tickets, I’m damned if I can see how I’d collect the proceeds. Roll up, roll up! Come one, come all! It’s your once in a lifetime opportunity to see Steve Wright die! Mouth platitudes! Sob! Buy a ticket for the raffle! Ahem. I don’t like the idea of being surrounded by lots of people just waiting for me to die, but I suppose the actual idea is for one’s nearest or dearest to say goodbye. If the people closest to me at the time of my death want to say goodbye, then I’d probably be glad of it. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/36 "2004-06-11T14:49:50Z")
I hope I die alone and quickly, with my last thought being “What the hell is that!?” (Actually, I’d really like to die like Rick Rescorla, but that’s not really relevant here.) In any case, if I die “SBFAF”, my last words will be “Don’t you guys have something better to do? Git!” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/37 "2004-06-11T15:20:18Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > Would it be okay with you if 3 or four of my family members dropped by as well? 😃 Is that dropped by or dropped _on_? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/38 "2004-06-11T18:27:45Z")
My grandmother died two years ago with her daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter (my mother, sister and niece) holding her hands. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/39 "2004-06-11T18:44:57Z")
My family was with my brother when he died. Because of traffic and snow, I missed my final good bye by about twenty minutes. He knew, before the morpine really kicked in, that his family was there with him whether he wanted them or not. He knew we had to be there. It 's the type of family we are. That said, if I die of an illness like my brother, I think it would be comforting to have my family around. I will assisit in my own suicide once I am certain I am terminal and cannot maintain my quality of life. I would perfer to go quiety in my sleep. Or quickly in a freak accident, like **Ethilrist’s** meteor. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697/40 "2004-06-11T18:48:04Z")
When you say “alone” are you including the S.W.A.T team and/or any other military/law enforcement personal? Aside from the fact that I do not appear to age (someone who I hadn’t seen in literally 20 years picked me out of a crowd at Rockafeller Center) and therefore probably cannot die, my friends and I have already established that the death of any one of us will result in the others making some very outrageous and embarassing claims about the deceased’s “lifestyle” to the national media. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/died-surrounded-by-family-and-friends/249697.md?page=3)