# Difficult Workplace Situations - how have you handled them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188 "2011-09-13T18:47:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/61 "2011-09-15T02:31:09Z")
Haha … I like it. Plus I’d have a ton of M&Ms left over for me!!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/62 "2011-09-15T23:18:38Z")
Update: today I found out that she has requested all of our manager’s emails that mention the name “Rhonda” - and that these emails are being provided to her under the Freedom of Information and Privacy Act. I don’t know what she expects to gain by this, but I am thankful that any emails I sent to my manager about Rhonda were, while not complimentary, professional and truthful. But still … YIKES!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/63 "2011-09-15T23:25:17Z")
My first reaction is that she’s the one who is going to file a hostile workplace suit. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/64 "2011-09-16T00:31:16Z")
> [@Stainz](#): > > Update: today I found out that she has requested all of our manager’s emails that mention the name “Rhonda” - and that these emails are being provided to her under the Freedom of Information and Privacy Act. I don’t know what she expects to gain by this, but I am thankful that any emails I sent to my manager about Rhonda were, while not complimentary, professional and truthful. But still … YIKES!!! Most companies I know of would basically say “go fuck yourself, get a court order” ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/65 "2011-09-19T17:30:08Z")
Sounds like they attempted to counsel her and only succeeded in getting her back up. ::Sigh:: Some idealistic twit in HR probably acquiesced thinking that she’d see herself in writing, get embarrassed and change her ways. :: Double Sigh:: ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/66 "2011-09-19T17:32:46Z")
> [@Stainz](#): > > Update: today I found out that she has requested all of our manager’s emails that mention the name “Rhonda” - and that these emails are being provided to her under the Freedom of Information and Privacy Act. I don’t know what she expects to gain by this, but I am thankful that any emails I sent to my manager about Rhonda were, while not complimentary, professional and truthful. But still … YIKES!!! If they have not already been provided. it may be useful for you to request that your communications with your manager be kept confidential. If you don’t request it, they have no basis upon which to refuse. If you do, they at least have an argument to make. Might not work, but unless there’s some political downside specific to your workplace, I’d say it can’t hurt to ask. ---
**Author:** ![craudy11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb9ed0/32.png) [@craudy11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/craudy11)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/67 "2012-11-08T14:45:48Z")
My personal response would be to approach the rude co-worker in an assertive manner. This would include a polite, firm, but gentle approach to see if she is struggling with something that noone else may be aware of. Many times there are a variety of different perspectives of the same situation. Depending on where you are positioned it can look completely different than from another’s position. She may be feeling completely left out of the group and has built up her defensive "wall. " Many times people who reject others or are rude, defensive and seem unapproachable are dealing with internal conflict that has nothing to do with those around them. They just aren’t sure how to handle it. If she shuts you out and doesn’t cooperate in the conversation, then I would take it further. Boss’s and supervisors always appreciate when their employees try to take care of conflict resolution without taking it to them to deal with first. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/68 "2012-11-08T15:36:24Z")
Or if well over a year has passed, I’d just let sleeping zombies lie. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/69 "2012-11-08T16:03:30Z")
Ask Rhonda for her advice before she interrupts. “How would you handle this? What’s your opinion of that? You’ve been here eight years, in your experience, what’s the best way to…” Etc., etc. It’s just remotely possible that she’d be flattered, and mellow out a little. Worst case scenario, you’re no worse off than before. HR can’t complain, because you’re asking her for advice. (Of course, you don’t have to take Rhonda’s advice.) Or, and this is a last ditch suggestion: burst into tears. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/70 "2012-11-08T16:05:57Z")
If the OP is still about, I would be curious how things panned out with Rhonda? (I hope she flipped out and attacked her with a wet sponge!) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/71 "2012-11-08T16:39:33Z")
> [@Stainz](#): > > The rudeness is stuff that mostly sounds petty, especially in writing, where it’s so hard to convey her tone and her attitude. > > She butts into personal conversations, for example, a co-worker and I were discussing panhandlers when Rhonda interrupted to say that I have no compassion, and that most of those people are not hire-able, and she has someone in her family who is mentally ill, and how dare I judge that person and blah blah blah. (She is not a linear thinker or speaker, it is often very hard to follow what she is saying!). > > Another situation was a couple of weeks ago when I asked a question about a job that came into our office. Again, I wasn’t talking to her, but she butted in to say “Just do the job instead of complaining about it. All you do is complain. Just do the work!” Frankly… The next time one of these situations happens, turn to her and say loudly and firmly, “Rhonda, shut the fuck up. I wasn’t talking to you.” Or words to that effect. Sometimes direct confrontation like that is all that it takes. If you can get away with the profanity, do it - it will add impact to your statement. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/72 "2012-11-08T16:48:49Z")
IF it’s a short term situation I just ignore them the best I can. Long term BS, I have always snapped. In each case I told the person off, I didn’t cuss, I didn’t threaten, I just told them exactly what I thought of them. I also made it very very clear to them that whatever their problem was with me, it was their problem, not mine and I didn’t care what the problem was and it wasn’t my responsibility to deal with their problems. They always stopped talking to me, one to the point that if I stepped on the elevator behind him he’d get off and wait for the next one. I think I was supposed to be offended. I think the better way to handle it would be like a friend of mine would. She’d look the person right in the eye and say, ‘You seem to have a problem with me. Is there anything I have done to offend you? If so then you need to let me know so I can apologize and make amends. We have to work together and we need to resolve this.’ Always worked for her. It’s nice, it’s professional, and it calls the bully out on their bullying behavior. It’s easier to nip the behavior in the bud, but a lot of times you don’t realize it’s going to become an issue until it already has become one. ---
**Author:** ![Greekfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@Greekfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greekfreak)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/73 "2012-11-08T17:36:01Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > That is definitely a wussy way, but it has the nice effect of calling her out on her bullshit in no uncertain terms. You’re not arguing with her, you’re stopping her in her tracks and forcing her to acknowledge her bullying. I’m of two minds of this and dealt with two similar arseholes in different fashions. Arsehole #1) I basically ignored her–no greetings, farewells, go F yourself, etc. and went about my job. Arsehole #2) Took her aside during break time and told her how much I respected her as a co-worker (which was BS), and how I was really disappointed how she was treating me. Both approaches worked, but so much depends on the other person. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/74 "2012-11-08T23:06:02Z")
Read the original post date people - read the original post date. Seriously, some of you have been here a while now, and should know better. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/75 "2012-11-09T00:22:41Z")
I can read. I can also read that she’s still a active poster, so maybe she’ll come back and let us know what happened or if there is still a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188/76 "2012-11-09T12:22:29Z")
Ditto. I’d love to know if she found a way to resolve the problem (but suspect she ended up moving job, to get away from Rhonda). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficult-workplace-situations-how-have-you-handled-them/596188.md?page=3)