# Difficulty orgasming (TMI) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840 "2005-01-26T23:08:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/41 "2005-01-30T15:49:01Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > He won’t let me have toys because he considers it a form of infidelity… But when he thinks I’ve been using them, he gets depressed, and I have to reassure him that I still love him. Jeez… we men have the weakest egos ! I sure love using toys on my GFs… but I understand why your husband might feel “replaced”… just keep telling him how big he is… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/42 "2005-01-30T16:24:47Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Well, you can open your can of whoop-ass on my husband instead. He won’t let me have toys because he considers it a form of infidelity. Of course, this doesn’t keep me from usiing them (secretly). But when he thinks I’ve been using them, he gets depressed, and I have to reassure him that I still love him. > > We have \*issues. \* :rolleyes: I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take the biggest of your toys, and shove them up his ass sideways. Then again, you never know, he might like it. Men who feel threatened by toys, why? You can do a lot of stuff with a toy, but you can’t really cuddle! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/43 "2005-01-30T16:35:10Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take the biggest of your toys, and shove them up his ass sideways. > > Then again, you never know, he might like it. > > Men who feel threatened by toys, why? You can do a lot of stuff with a toy, but you can’t really cuddle! I think toys are wonderful! Unless they’re sock monkeys, of course. \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/44 "2005-01-30T16:46:20Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Well, you can open your can of whoop-ass on my husband instead. He won’t let me have toys because he considers it a form of infidelity. Of course, this doesn’t keep me from usiing them (secretly). But when he thinks I’ve been using them, he gets depressed, and I have to reassure him that I still love him. > > We have \*issues. \* :rolleyes: How is using toys any different than any other form of masturbation? And given that, I guess your husband is never never never unfaithful to you by masturbating :dubious: Hmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/45 "2005-01-30T16:47:53Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > I think toys are wonderful! > > Unless they’re sock monkeys, of course. \<\\> My boyfriend fears them, too. (sock monkeys, not toys). Didn’t \*\*elfbabe \*\* make one not too long ago? Or am I thinking of someone else, and \*\*elfbabe \*\* just told us you hated them. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/46 "2005-01-30T19:17:54Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Men who feel threatened by toys, why? You can do a lot of stuff with a toy, but you can’t really cuddle! I think it’s the notion of being _replaced_ by a toy that most of us guys fear. What, with women’s lib, the automatic transmission, and MapQuest, we’re already heading to obsolesence. Battery-operated sex machines that can run for hours and hours, don’t leak or risk pregnancy, and subvert the whole awkward (for both parties) dating paradigm just accelerates the process. 😉 😕 :o See the opening scene of [Roger Dodger](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299117/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnxteD0yMHxzZz0xfGxtPTIwMHx0dD1vbnxwbj0wfHE9cm9nZXIgZG9kZ2VyfGh0bWw9MXxubT1vbg__;fc=1;ft=21;fm=1) for a more, uh, extensive and R-rated explaination of this. “Clitoruses? Clitorum? Clitorri?” :dubious: And there isn’t a TV program about four guys sitting around talking about their sex toys. Yet. :eek: Stranger ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/47 "2005-01-30T19:31:54Z")
> [@Rashak Mani](#): > > Jeez… we men have the weakest egos ! I sure love using toys on my GFs… but I understand why your husband might feel “replaced”… just keep telling him how big he is… 😃 No kidding. I got my husband girl on girl porn. He was fine with that. But when I confessed I also got a vibrator, he said he felt disappointed in himself because he felt like, if I got a toy, he wasn’t satisfying me enough. In fact, we had a “chat” about it just last night. _Sigh_ I was a little upset because we had spoken about it before, and he told me he’d be willing to try using toys if I was interested. I think this is one of those things where he said that thinking I wouldn’t be interested, but in reality it makes him feel threatened. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/48 "2005-01-31T06:00:31Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Didn’t \*\*elfbabe \*\* make one not too long ago? Or am I thinking of someone else, and \*\*elfbabe \*\* just told us you hated them. **Qadgop** is a very nice man who pays for my education and general upkeep and contributed half of my genetic material. I would NEVER make a sock monkey! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dontknowmuch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@dontknowmuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dontknowmuch)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/49 "2005-01-31T06:20:55Z")
Watch the Sunday Night Sex Show and call her. She knows everything and more. It’s kind of humorous too. Never seen an old lady put a dildo in her mouth before have ya? I hadn’t either and when she did I almost died. In all honesty though she is very knowledgable and can probably help you. Or at least tell you where to get an overcomplicated dildo that is sure to give you an orgasm. [http://www.talksexwithsue.com/](http://www.talksexwithsue.com/) [http://sexshop.zonaerotica.com.mx/sexshop.php?pid=703](http://sexshop.zonaerotica.com.mx/sexshop.php?pid=703) try that on for size… ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/50 "2005-01-31T07:34:23Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > It’s got nothing to do with the partner. It’s just that dicks _alone_ are woefully inadequate when it comes to bringing a woman to orgasm. They’re pretty nice all the same though. 😃 Not for _all_ women. 😉 > [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > And yes, SSRI’s can spell arousal and orgasmic difficulty for both genders. I concur - but in my particular case, it’s not so detrimental that I can’t deal with it. I have had difficulty coming to orgasm sometimes, but usually it’s not that bad. I’ve also discovered I (personally) decrease the hurdle by postponing my daily dosage. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/51 "2005-01-31T14:47:11Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > **Qadgop** is a very nice man who pays for my education and general upkeep and contributed half of my genetic material. I would NEVER make a sock monkey! > :eek: Er. Boy, did I have your relationship mixed up. Apologies. Mental note: \*\*Qadgop \*\* & \*\*elfbabe \*\* are \*not \* husband & wife. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/52 "2005-01-31T17:50:54Z")
> [@monica](#): > > I’m on Prozac. See, my father is a doctor. And whenever he thinks I might be depressed, his solution is to throw meds at me (not literally, but you know what I mean). It seemed easier to take the Prozac than to argue with him, plus I sometimes do become borderline depressed. And of course, my father isn’t going to be discussing the difficulty of orgasming while on anti-depressents with me. :smack: I’ve never heard of that side effect before, though. Yep. Big downside. I posted a thread about it awhile back. SSRI made for extremely long sessions…Nice and dandy occasionally, but for that mid-week quickie? Uh-uh. Nope, nada, nothing. The equipment worked fine, but the trigger was just gone. My wife can get 90% there with just me and a normal session. That last 10% takes either a lot of time and sore muscles, or a vibrator. So we usually use the toy…it works, it’s fun, and you get to shop for new gifts occasionally. Men who are insecure about silicone and plastic toys are wimps. Get the f\*\*k over it. You can also try a little anal action. I little toy or a finger down there can tip the scales in a heartbeat. Read up on some of the threads on this topic and you’ll find many supporters. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/53 "2005-02-01T15:12:19Z")
Oh man, I’m glad this thread was started. I was thinking of starting something like it myself, actually. I’ve never orgasmed. My current boyfriend really wants to make me come. He also said something to the effect that I’m the first girl that hasn’t come with him. The sex with him is better than with my previous partner, and I really do trust this guy. I bought a vibrator back in October, but I live in a dorm and my roommate is always around, so I haven’t used it yet. Alright, alright, that’s only part of it. Also I’ve been a little nervous to use it, although I’m not sure why. I’m definitely going to check out some of those books. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840/54 "2005-02-01T15:46:08Z")
> [@AwSnappity](#): > > Oh man, I’m glad this thread was started. I was thinking of starting something like it myself, actually. I’ve never orgasmed. My current boyfriend really wants to make me come. He also said something to the effect that I’m the first girl that hasn’t come with him. The sex with him is better than with my previous partner, and I really do trust this guy. I bought a vibrator back in October, but I live in a dorm and my roommate is always around, so I haven’t used it yet. Alright, alright, that’s only part of it. Also I’ve been a little nervous to use it, although I’m not sure why. I’m definitely going to check out some of those books. I’ve got [The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0871319349/qid=1107273391/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/002-5597682-9694422?v=glance&s=books&n=507846). It’s a little cheesey, but it does have some helpful tips and exercises you can do to help you orgasm, first by yourself, then with your SO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/difficulty-orgasming-tmi/286840.md?page=2)