# Diggleblops gigantic penis
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 6, 2006, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610 "2006-09-06T10:50:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/1 "2006-09-06T10:50:02Z")
[The thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=386975) was closed by a moderator. However, I don’t feel like we have covered the full length of this topic yet. There most be some more thoughts regarding the member in question.
Panic ensues.
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/2 "2006-09-06T11:00:16Z")
First of all, are we certain the real concern is an enormous member, and not simply really small vaginas?
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/3 "2006-09-06T11:16:48Z")
Closing that thread left me all deflated I must say. I felt it was decidedly premature given the enormity of the issue. Sometimes our mods are a little too quick off the mark, and need to curb their impatience. I mean, really, would it have pained them a lot to pace themselves a little more, and allow the thread to come to its own eventual _petit-death_?
😛
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/4 "2006-09-06T11:28:37Z")
I had a girlfriend once that told me she would only marry a guy that had a 9" Johnson. I thought for a minute and told her I wasn’t cutting off 4" for anybody.
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### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/5 "2006-09-06T11:31:11Z")
> [@Rick](#):
>
> I had a girlfriend once that told me she would only marry a guy that had a 9" Johnson. I thought for a minute and told her I wasn’t cutting off 4" for anybody.
If memory serves, that was the tag line in the movie “Deep Throat.”
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/6 "2006-09-06T11:38:22Z")
> [@Rick](#):
>
> I had a girlfriend once that told me she would only marry a guy that had a 9" Johnson. **I thought for a minute** and told her I wasn’t cutting off 4" for anybody.
Obviously your dick is bigger than your brain if it took you an **entire minute** to weigh up the short and long term consequences of marrying this chick. 😛
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/7 "2006-09-06T11:42:50Z")
The problem is not size, it’s blood flow. I only have enough blood to run one head at a time. When 90% of the blood is in one head, the other one responds slower.
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### Author:  [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/8 "2006-09-06T11:48:56Z")
> [@Rick](#):
>
> The problem is not size, it’s blood flow. I only have enough blood to run one head at a time. When 90% of the blood is in one head, the other one responds slower.
So which one is typing on the board at the moment? 😉
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/9 "2006-09-06T11:56:45Z")
Why are all the ads at the bottom for mushrooms?
No one has mentioned mushrooms at all.
I suspect human intervention, with a weird sensayuma.
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### Author:  [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/10 "2006-09-06T12:06:25Z")
> [@Mindfield](#):
>
> First of all, are we certain the real concern is an enormous member, and not simply really small vaginas?
The only way to be sure is photographic evidence!
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### Author:  [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/11 "2006-09-06T12:37:32Z")
OK, now the ad asks us to “Make (Your) Donation Today” to the BushClintonKatrinaFund. That can truly be brought so many more places than the appendage in question.
I used to be nice and naive. Then I found the internet 🙂
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/12 "2006-09-06T13:19:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> Why are all the ads at the bottom for mushrooms?
>
> No one has mentioned mushrooms at all.
You have to admit, mushrooms look rather phallic in silhouette.
How Google knows this however…
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/13 "2006-09-06T13:27:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You have to admit, mushrooms look rather phallic in silhouette.
>
> How Google knows this however…
Well, that was my point – whatever automatic routine selects the ads ought not to make the connection between phallic and mushrooms, unless either 1.) A human looks in every now and then to nudge it that way, or 2.) some perverse human programmed in a phallic /mushroom connection.
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/14 "2006-09-06T13:35:02Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> Well, that was my point – whatever automatic routine selects the ads ought not to make the connection between phallic and mushrooms, unless either 1.) A human looks in every now and then to nudge it that way, or 2.) some perverse human programmed in a phallic /mushroom connection.
Maybe it’s some sort of Amazon-esque popularity ranking.
_People who liked Penis also liked…_
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### Author:  [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/15 "2006-09-06T13:43:51Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#):
>
> The only way to be sure is photographic evidence!
Man, ain’t that the way it always is? Some guy happens to mention penis size in an off-hand way, and the girls are immediately clamoring for pictures. I feel so objectivized!
😉
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### Author:  [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/16 "2006-09-06T14:05:11Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#):
>
> The only way to be sure is photographic evidence!
I imagine that measurements would be more reliable.
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### Author:  [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/17 "2006-09-06T14:06:07Z")
> [@Sage Rat](#):
>
> I imagine that measurements would be more reliable.
Not if he provides the data in base 2.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/18 "2006-09-06T16:21:02Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> or 2.) some perverse human programmed in a phallic /mushroom connection
Maybe this is the first sign that Google is evolving intelligence and awareness, Skynet-style. Perhaps the increasing number of web pages devoted to the fine art of mushroom tattoos have closed some sort of pseudo-synaptic loop in Google’s server farm.
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### Author:  [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/19 "2006-09-06T16:51:01Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> Maybe this is the first sign that Google is evolving intelligence and awareness, Skynet-style. Perhaps the increasing number of web pages devoted to the fine art of mushroom tattoos have closed some sort of pseudo-synaptic loop in Google’s server farm.
I think that this must be true. The current Google ad is for “Humor Writing Workshops”, something the posters in this thread are clearly in serious need of.
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diggleblops-gigantic-penis/371610/20 "2006-09-06T17:00:55Z")
I of course have nothing but sympathy for _Diggleblop_ and his affliction, having had to live with such a handicap for many years myself. I mean, I can hardly see around the thing to drive.
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