# Dildogate, Courtesy of Mountainside, NJ's Finest **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 30, 2018, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105 "2018-05-30T03:15:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/1 "2018-05-30T03:15:55Z")
[The police officers of Mountainside, NJ seem to have traded in the “thin blue line” for a floppy blue dildo known as “Big Blue.”](http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2018/05/dildos_testicles_in_food_and_xx_other_insane_detai.html). And Big Blue is the least of it The whole thing is so gloriously and fabulously appalling that I can’t help but laugh. Included in the above article, entitled, “ **23 insane, disgusting and flat-out inhumane claims from Mountainside police lawsuit** :” - Sniffing female dispatcher’s chair, offering to inseminate her - Making a fake call of an officer in distress, then stealing another town’s police car - Pooping in another officer’s boots - Testicle grabbing, humping - Running a fruit stand while on duty (That last one just slays me) I just don’t know what to think anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/2 "2018-05-30T03:17:56Z")
There’s sometimes where you just need to fire everyone involved, disband the police department and start over from ground zero with real adults. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/3 "2018-05-30T03:26:09Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > There’s sometimes where you just need to fire everyone involved, disband the police department and start over from ground zero with real adults. In New Jersey? These guys will soon be Gov. Murphy’s new praetorian guard. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/4 "2018-05-30T03:52:49Z")
When did they find the time to arrest people? And one of them coached kids’ athletics? I sure wouldn’t have wanted my kids around him, if I had them. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/5 "2018-05-30T04:04:18Z")
Good old [Republican family values](https://newjerseyglobe.com/section-2/mountainside-administrator-supports-suspended-cop/): > [@](#): > > The Mountainside borough administrator is showing some support for the owner of “Big Blue” – the suspended police officer who is accused of harassing five of his fellow police officers and a civilian with a blue dildo he keeps in his desk drawer. > > On Monday, James Debbie, a former police chief who now runs the borough, used his personal Facebook page to “like” a post by the wife of Andrew Huber called “#HUBERSTRONG.” > > Chief of Police Allan Attanasio, Lt. Thomas Murphy and Huber are all under suspension as the Union County Prosecutor reviews the matter. Lt. Joseph Giannuzzi, who has been put in charge of the 23-person police department, reports to Debbie. > > Complicating the issue: Debbie’s son is the chief of the Union County Police Department – something that might cause the state Attorney General to take on the investigation directly, according to one source. > > Mountainside is a small (pop. 6,685) Republican town in western Union County where Democrats have not won a local race for at least fifty years. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/6 "2018-05-30T04:11:08Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > [The police officers of Mountainside, NJ seem to have traded in the “thin blue line” for a floppy blue dildo known as “Big Blue.”](http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2018/05/dildos_testicles_in_food_and_xx_other_insane_detai.html). And Big Blue is the least of it > > The whole thing is so gloriously and fabulously appalling that I can’t help but laugh. > > Included in the above article, entitled, “ **23 insane, disgusting and flat-out inhumane claims from Mountainside police lawsuit** :” > > - Sniffing female dispatcher’s chair, offering to inseminate her > - Making a fake call of an officer in distress, then stealing another town’s police car > - Pooping in another officer’s boots > - Testicle grabbing, humping > - Running a fruit stand while on duty > > (That last one just slays me) > > I just don’t know what to think anymore. I’m with you on most of those, but that pooping in the boots thing, that’s pure gold right there. Who hasn’t wanted to do that a time or two. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/7 "2018-05-30T05:03:22Z")
Are we sure this story isn’t a stealth promo for Super Troopers 2? ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/8 "2018-05-30T06:23:26Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > Are we sure this story isn’t a stealth promo for Super Troopers 2? My thoughts exactly, though it would make suspension of disbelief difficult. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/9 "2018-05-30T06:25:58Z")
Man this makes the Super Troopers guys look tame by comparison. > [@](#): > > Also, the lawsuit claims that after seeing a photo of the dispatcher where she and her daughter were in zebra-print bathing suits, Murphy frequently said he wanted to see her in it, asking “when’s the zebra coming out again” and making “zebra-like noises” (whatever those are) in her presence. Haha this guy must know a lot about zebras. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/10 "2018-05-30T10:20:14Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I’m with you on most of those, but that pooping in the boots thing, that’s pure gold right there. Who hasn’t wanted to do that a time or two. They even screwed that up. It was the wrong person’s boots. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/11 "2018-05-30T12:32:50Z")
And the wrong person’s poo. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/12 "2018-05-30T12:40:39Z")
Can you dust for poo? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/13 "2018-05-30T12:58:37Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > - Running a fruit stand while on duty > > (That last one just slays me) There’s always money in the banana stand. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/14 "2018-05-30T15:12:13Z")
Well, we can’t fire them all. After all, some were complaining about the behavior and victims of it. But yeah, these assholes need to canned, along with their supervisors. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/15 "2018-05-30T18:05:21Z")
… … … I give up. There are no words. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/16 "2018-05-31T00:19:52Z")
Buried in all of the idiocy is some stuff that is flat-out dangerous or even criminal, including: - pointing a loaded gun at other officers - making a fake report of an officer in distress to another town’s PD and then stealing their police car - driving past other cars extremely fast and very close That middle one bothers me more than everything else put together. (The fake “officer in danger” call part, not so much the stealing the car part) I have to wonder why Berkeley Heights didn’t take action. Here is a PDF of the actual complaint, if you’re interested: > **[Mountainside-Complaint.pdf](https://newjerseyglobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Mountainside-Complaint.pdf)** > > 1364.07 KB ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/17 "2018-05-31T00:31:18Z")
Yeah I could easily envision the “officer in distress” call could lead to some innocent person getting shot full of holes like so much Swiss cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/18 "2018-05-31T00:32:07Z")
Oh… The story is obviously misleading, it says “large dildo” and the picture included doesn’t back up that claim; it’s really not that big. Fake news! Exonerate them all! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/19 "2018-05-31T00:44:55Z")
I know you’re joking, but…My coworker who lives in Mountainside said that someone on the town’s facebook page is claiming that the video of Huber attacking the dispatcher with Big Blue is fake!! ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2018, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildogate-courtesy-of-mountainside-njs-finest/815105/20 "2018-06-01T06:30:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Mountainside is a small (pop. 6,685) Republican town in western Union County \*\*where Democrats have not won a local race for at least fifty years. \*\* Says all that needs to be said. SICK Republicans with repressed sexuality shown on display in their true nature under what they think is the cover of anonymity.