# Dildos--er, vibrators--er, personal massagers. Buy now!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 24, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242 "2010-04-24T21:05:24Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [April 27, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/21 "2010-04-27T14:25:54Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#):
>
> Interesting. Maybe I just wasn’t looking at the right pages before.
Those pages were stuck together.
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### Author:  [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/22 "2010-04-28T01:52:41Z")
I’d just like to point out that I am a licensed handenbunger.
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### Author:  [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/23 "2010-04-28T02:49:24Z")
_Rachel Maines, **researching needlework patterns in early 20th century women’s magazines** , ran across ads for electric vibrators._
That old excuse! :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/24 "2010-04-28T04:33:35Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#):
>
> I have read the Vermont Country Store catalog since I was a wee lass as my Mom gets it. So, sitting at her house, reading her junk mail magazines and seeing the VCS is like an old friend . Finding out they starting selling Vibrators nearly made me fall off my chair laughing so hard. THAT generation and VIBRATORS just doesn’t mesh in my mind.
That’s right, missy. Last night I put on my favorite [Lanz of Salzburg](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apparel/Womens-Sleepwear/Lanz-of-Salzburg/Lanz-Tyrolean-Print-Nightgown/D/30100/P/1:100:1010:10240:100520/I/f06581?evar3=BROWSE)nightgown, slipped off my [long-torso briefs with non-elasticized leg-holes](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apparel/Womens-Intimates/Panties-Briefs/3-Pairs-Nylon-Long-Torso-Briefs/D/30100/P/1:100:1010:10230:100490/I/f45938?evar3=BROWSE), and had some fun with my new personal massager. I’m tellin’ ya…Herman could have taken a few lessons from that thing! Woo!
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/25 "2010-04-28T04:40:14Z")
> [@Muffin](#):
>
> Finally some truth in advdrtising. A friend gave me one of [these](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apothecary/Intimate-Solutions/Personal-Massager/D/30100/P/1:100:1000:10120/I/f54430?evar3=BROWSE), which is advertised as being discrete. Neither of us knew that it was a vibrator, and only just now did I learn what it really is for.
I’m not sure I’d call it discrete. I’d be looking pretty funny at grown woman who loved her rubber ducky and took it with her everywhere she traveled. Why not make it look like something someone might legitimately carry?
Heck, here’s an idea: make it look like a loufa or those scungy things for liquid soap. Or, heck, a mini shampoo bottle.
And, of course, you’d have another practical shape you could carry outside the bath.
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### Author:  [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/26 "2010-04-28T11:44:16Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> And, of course, you’d have another practical shape you could carry outside the bath.
Hmm, so\*\* that’s\*\* what all of those “cellphones” I see women carrying around in the supermarket really are…
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/27 "2010-04-28T13:27:02Z")
I completely missed this thread when it began last week, but it’s too funny to see it now. We do magazine/catalog exchanges here at work, and I picked up the Vermont Country Store catalog yesterday morning off the table. I’m looking through it and it just looks like a typical “old-timey-trend” catalog…Mennonite chic fashions, as-seen-on-tv gadgets, old-timey candies, vibrators, specialty soa…VIBRATORS?! I’m really glad I didn’t find that page before I was outside during my (solitary) lunch hour because I just about passed out from oxygen deprivation I was laughing so hard. I had to bring the catalog home to show my partner…just could not believe it. I’ve NEVER seen them marketed in such numbers or so openly in those mail-order catalogs (well, not THESE mail-order catalogs, anyway). They even had a model with the bunny-ears!
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/28 "2010-04-28T18:55:12Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> I’m not sure I’d call it discrete. I’d be looking pretty funny at grown woman who loved her rubber ducky and took it with her everywhere she traveled. Why not make it look like something someone might legitimately carry?
>
> Heck, here’s an idea: make it look like … a mini shampoo bottle…
Good luck explaining that one when it runs through the airport xray.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/29 "2010-04-28T19:54:30Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> Interestingly, the 5th Circuit court of appeals has ruled that Texas’ laws against selling and owning vibrators are unconstitutional, while the 11th Circuit court of appeals has ruled that Alabama’s very similar laws against selling and owning vibrators are constitutional.
>
> I wonder if this question will end up in the Supreme Court? 🆒
>
> [Texas obscenity statute - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_obscenity_statute)
Here in the rehab center, access to your linked pages is blocked. As I recall from my Texas days, one had to advertise sex aids as “instructional” devices----advertising and sales were regulated all to hell and back. I will bet that Texas will fight the ruling for all they are worth.
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/30 "2010-04-28T21:04:14Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#):
>
> No flannel or plaid, but there is a [Ducky](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apothecary/Intimate-Solutions/Personal-Massager/D/30100/P/1:100:1000:10120/I/f54430?evar3=BROWSE)
It sure gives the Rubby Ducky song a whole new dimension.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [April 28, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/31 "2010-04-28T21:39:35Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> That’s right, missy. Last night I put on my favorite [Lanz of Salzburg](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apparel/Womens-Sleepwear/Lanz-of-Salzburg/Lanz-Tyrolean-Print-Nightgown/D/30100/P/1:100:1010:10240:100520/I/f06581?evar3=BROWSE)nightgown, slipped off my [long-torso briefs with non-elasticized leg-holes](http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/browse/Home/Apparel/Womens-Intimates/Panties-Briefs/3-Pairs-Nylon-Long-Torso-Briefs/D/30100/P/1:100:1010:10230:100490/I/f45938?evar3=BROWSE), and had some fun with my new personal massager. I’m tellin’ ya…Herman could have taken a few lessons from that thing! Woo!
Yanno, one of my favoritest nighties EVAR was a Lanz. ( the sleeves have elastic, dontcha know.) Mr. Ujest has forbidden them in the house. Something about erection issues or something.
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/32 "2010-04-30T23:09:04Z")
This one looks like something you’d use to mix pancake batter:
[http://www.fulloflife.com/website/store/product\_detail.asp?UID=2010043019085617&item\_no=73068&keyword=massager&cat\_keyword=&search\_page\_no=1&WT.svl=73068](http://www.fulloflife.com/website/store/product_detail.asp?UID=2010043019085617&item%5Fno=73068&keyword=massager&cat%5Fkeyword=&search%5Fpage%5Fno=1&WT.svl=73068)
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/33 "2010-04-30T23:37:12Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#):
>
> This one looks like something you’d use to mix pancake batter:
>
> [http://www.fulloflife.com/website/store/product\_detail.asp?UID=2010043019085617&item\_no=73068&keyword=massager&cat\_keyword=&search\_page\_no=1&WT.svl=73068](http://www.fulloflife.com/website/store/product_detail.asp?UID=2010043019085617&item%5Fno=73068&keyword=massager&cat%5Fkeyword=&search%5Fpage%5Fno=1&WT.svl=73068)
“Due to health and safety concerns, this item is non-returnable.”
_snerk_
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/34 "2010-05-01T00:09:33Z")
> [@outlierrn](#):
>
> sears catalog 1918
> [File:Sears vibrators.jpg - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sears_vibrators.jpg)
My DAD has that one (or at least it looks like it). As a back massager. And no other purpose. It blew my mind when I found out that it… er… had a double purpose (mostly because I’ve felt how it vibrates and I wouldn’t want it near my girly bits).
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2010, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/35 "2010-05-01T01:21:22Z")
This one kinda freaks me out:
[http://www.amerimark.com/cgi-bin/amerimark/postkey\_find.html?cm\_re=celebros-\_-center-\_-search%20promo&keywords=027397](http://www.amerimark.com/cgi-bin/amerimark/postkey_find.html?cm_re=celebros-_-center-_-search%20promo&keywords=027397)
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2010, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/36 "2010-05-01T02:46:51Z")
This one reminds the Mrs. and I of [Gonzo the Great](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B001M5121I/ref=dp_image_text_z_0?ie=UTF8&n=3760901&s=hpc), from the muppets!
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### Author:  [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/37 "2010-05-01T12:48:15Z")
> [@outlierrn](#):
>
> Submitted for your approval
> from the wiki article on ‘female hysteria’
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > While physicians of the period acknowledged that the disorder stemmed from sexual dissatisfaction, they seemed unaware of or unwilling to admit the sexual purposes of the devices used to treat it.[1] In fact, the introduction of the speculum was far more controversial than that of the vibrator.[1]
>
> Weird
Well yea of course they wouldn’t admit it was from sexual dissatisfaction. A lot of these machines were used in a doctor’s office, by the doctor on the patient. If it got out that women were going there to be masturbated by a man other than her husband think of the scandal! The insult!
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/38 "2010-05-02T01:56:52Z")
Wow—there are even sex devices and toys marketed specifically to Christian couples:
> **[Intimacy products for Christian couples](https://www.covenantspice.com/?gclid=CI_AzoussqECFRGkiQodTW-K-g)**
>
> We are a Christian run sex toy shop. We offer a variety of sexual aids for married couples in a Christian atmosphere. Nudity free.
There’s even Biblical support given in the FAQs.
Fascinating…
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/39 "2010-05-02T02:57:48Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#):
>
> My DAD has that one (or at least it looks like it). As a back massager. And no other purpose.
Don’t be so sure.
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### Author:  [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)
#### Post date: [May 2, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-er-vibrators-er-personal-massagers-buy-now/537242/40 "2010-05-02T04:00:52Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Don’t be so sure.
Knowing my dad as I do, yeah, no other purpose. _sigh_ My dad is special. And by special I mean super-boring.
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