# Dildos Hunted to Extinction **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2013, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288 "2013-07-23T07:09:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/1 "2013-07-23T07:09:50Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/i1OCk60sxiI/maxresdefault.jpg "CNN News Anchor Blooper - Humans hunted the dildo into extinction") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1OCk60sxiI) I am vibrating with rage over this. They were so trusting and snatched away too soon. Why didn’t any master debaters speak up for them before it was too late? ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/2 "2013-07-23T07:22:52Z")
Good giggle! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/3 "2013-07-23T07:32:27Z")
Are there no cunning linguists to speak their cause? It’s a t-horny problem, but I’m sure if they put some ass into it there’ll be no end of the good they can do. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/4 "2013-07-23T07:54:33Z")
First they came using a butt plug, and they cried out because they liked using butt plugs, Then they came using a vibrator, and they cried out because they liked using vibrators, Then they came using a french ticker, and they cried out because they liked using french tickers, Then they were all satiated, and there was no one left to come using me. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/5 "2013-07-23T12:41:05Z")
It’s a hard problem to face. You can’t turn to jelly in the face of big-headed jerk-offs who would snatch pleasure from the weak-kneed. We must stand straight and tall and spout this monolog: “You can have my dildo when you pry it from the moist, glistening, muscled walls of my vagina.” Sadly, they’ve been doing this in the Atlanta area [for over a decade…](http://clatl.com/atlanta/sex-devices-face-stiff-opposition/Content?oid=1230834) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/6 "2013-07-23T12:46:05Z")
There may still be hope. A lady friend of mine recently came into possession of a strange looking vibrating egg. Maybe it will hatch a baby dildo? She promised to keep safely tucked away in a warm place somewhere on her person. We’ll see if anything comes of it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/7 "2013-07-23T12:57:04Z")
They were so elusive, I mean one second it was there and then it’s gone. What gave you an edge was to have a hair trigger. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/8 "2013-07-23T13:12:54Z")
The irony is, of course, that the dildo would have survived if early sailors had realized that it was inedible. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/9 "2013-07-23T15:11:17Z")
if they just would have hidden in caves they would be alright. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/10 "2013-07-23T18:17:36Z")
It may just be a phallus-y that they are extinct and some may still exist. (stolen from a witty friend) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/11 "2013-07-23T19:31:27Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > It’s a hard problem to face. You can’t turn to jelly in the face of big-headed jerk-offs who would snatch pleasure from the weak-kneed. We must stand straight and tall and spout this monolog: “You can have my dildo when you pry it from the moist, glistening, muscled walls of my vagina.” The trouble is that at a time like that it’s difficult to stand straight and tall. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/12 "2013-07-23T20:39:24Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > The irony is, of course, that the dildo would have survived if early sailors had realized that it was inedible. Jesus H. Christ. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/13 "2013-07-24T00:45:49Z")
For what its worth: [A Night in Dildo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vpycgIlhJXs&t=18), by the Arrogant Worms. (Yes, all the place names in that song are real locations in Newfoundland!) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/14 "2013-07-24T02:07:40Z")
“…Into the valley of death rode the Model-600…” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/15 "2013-07-24T12:04:45Z")
Isn’t that from “The Charge of the Tight Brigade?” ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/16 "2013-07-24T12:32:27Z")
I think that hunting may not be completely to blame for the dildo extinction, climax change may have been a factor as well. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/17 "2013-07-24T12:43:10Z")
Wait. Is Dildo that short guy looking for that ring? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dildos-hunted-to-extinction/664288/18 "2013-07-24T13:11:46Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Wait. Is Dildo that short guy looking for that ring? Yeah, the Magic Dingus.