# Dinner etiquette. Tucking a napkin into your shirt. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102 "2004-08-16T17:50:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/1 "2004-08-16T17:50:48Z")
My SO’s “eccentric” thing to do when we’re eating is sticking the napkin in his shirt. Whether we’re at a fast food joint, an indian restaurant, or a fancy pants place, this is his way of keeping his shirt clean. He’s not a slob by any means and the napkin never really catches any food but seems to be there as a “just in case”. I called him on it once and said it makes him look a bit uncultured. He said it makes him look eccentric and he’s been doing it his whole life. (“Yes, it was called a bib when you were younger”, I thought). He then added that this how they do it in Paris. I replied that there are some things that don’t translate well and we shouldn’t do everything the Parisians do anyway. So what do you think? Is it just eccentric or is it just bad? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/2 "2004-08-16T18:00:08Z")
If it was proper etiquette for the Three Stooges, then it’s good enough for me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/3 "2004-08-16T18:11:00Z")
Only if eating lobster. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/4 "2004-08-16T18:15:07Z")
Sorry, that’s not eccentric. It’s bad. Very bad. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/5 "2004-08-16T18:16:17Z")
When I was in Paris, I never saw anyone tuck their napkin into their shirt. That said, I wasn’t there for all that long. However, I agree with **BrotherCadfael** : only tuck your napkin into your collar when eating lobster or crab legs. That stuff goes everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/6 "2004-08-16T18:41:18Z")
I think the phase you’re looking for is “It make you look like you were raised in a barn.” ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/7 "2004-08-16T19:16:38Z")
Lobster only. In other cases, the napkin in the shirt routine makes you fit the stereotype of the country bumpkin having his first meal in the big city (or using utensils other than a knife, for that matter). Mannered society’s expectations are that we manage to eat and remain relatively stain-free without needing to resort to napkin buffers for our chests. Tell him that he’s making people think that his ability to properly use a knife and fork are highly suspect. And even if he manages to locate a Parisian or two who use this method (and based on previous responses that may be a challenge), that doesn’t mean he should do it here–I don’t see many people here driving on the left side of the street. ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/8 "2004-08-16T19:41:36Z")
Definitely gauche. A napkin goes on your lap, not in you collar. But you have to decide if it’s a battle worth picking. Yeah, it makes him look dopey, but at least he’s happy and dopey-looking. Just try to make sure he never does this at a business function. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/9 "2004-08-16T21:49:51Z")
\ I grew up in a Big Italian Family, and we always did the napkin-tuck thing when eating pasta. Heck, one of the Italian fraternal organizations around here serves pasta in their hall once a week, and they provide these little plastic bib thingies. I always tuck in a napkin if I’m wearing a decent shirt and eating something likely to splash and stain, like menudo or pho. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/10 "2004-08-16T23:02:46Z")
> [@yBeayf](#): > > \ I grew up in a Big Italian Family, and we always did the napkin-tuck thing when eating pasta. Heck, one of the Italian fraternal organizations around here serves pasta in their hall once a week, and they provide these little plastic bib thingies. I always tuck in a napkin if I’m wearing a decent shirt and eating something likely to splash and stain, like menudo or pho. Practical or no, sheesh. If you’re in a restaurant (and not one filled with friendly Italian shriners) don’t do it. stpauler, seriously, I’d tell him I wasn’t willing to go out to eat with him if he kept at it; that would be so embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/11 "2004-08-16T23:10:44Z")
He’s not in Paris. My vote is: Only when he’s in a restaurant where everyone else is doing it, otherwise it goes on the lap. (I was going to say only with crab and lobster but changed my mind…I’ve been in plenty of restaurants where the lobster comes split and the crab comes cracked.) ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/12 "2004-08-17T01:24:44Z")
I tuck mine in. I collect t-shirts, which I also wear–and I do my best to keep them covered when I’m eating, as a lot of them are irreplaceable. How it looks is not a major concern to me. Now my work shirts–never. I don’t care if they get permanently stained. ---
**Author:** ![violacrane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c57346/32.png) [@violacrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/violacrane)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/13 "2004-08-17T02:37:53Z")
Speaking as one whose abililty to use a knife and fork **is** highly suspect I prefer looking uncouth at the table to walking around with food stains down my front. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/14 "2004-08-17T03:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking as one whose abililty to use a knife and fork is highly suspect I prefer looking uncouth at the table to walking around with food stains down my front. Ditto. I may look like a yokel, but when my coworker and myself are walking out of the restaurant he’s going to be the one with hoisin sauce on his new white shirt, not me. ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/15 "2004-08-17T03:08:36Z")
The napkin belongs on his lap. He knows that 🙂 Tell him to behave himself! ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/16 "2004-08-17T07:01:12Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > I think the phase you’re looking for is “It make you look like you were raised in a barn.” Nope, sorry I’ve lived in a barn and that isn’t acceptable behavior even in a barn. **stpauler** the guy’s yanking your chain. Get him a bib and the next time he pulls this shit make him wear the bib. If that doesn’t do it try feeding him yourself. When somebody looks at y’all just whisper loudly that he has to have help, he’s a bit eccentric. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/17 "2004-08-17T11:16:57Z")
> [@Pablito](#): > > –I don’t see many people here driving on the left side of the street. Course, you wouldn’t see that in France either! I’ll just chime in and say no - I think that would be the height of bad taste. Of course, my mother does it but mothers are meant to be embarrassing! ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/18 "2004-08-17T20:56:07Z")
As Killer is so fond of saying, “dinner isn’t over until DaToad is wearing it”, I would really like to tuck my napkin in my shirt. (I really appreciate Delta Air Lines because their business/first class napkins have a button hole for just that purpose.) My solution is a very nice collection of thrift store chic, extra-wide, ties that work well as bibs. Nobody knows if I’m a fashion moron or just campy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ShadiRoxan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@ShadiRoxan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadiRoxan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/19 "2004-08-18T00:28:06Z")
I went out to eat recently and saw a man with his napkin tucked into his shirt. My first thought was is he that anxious to eat that he’s afraid it’ll get on his shirt while shoving it in his mouth? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102/20 "2004-08-18T07:29:23Z")
> [@violacrane](#): > > Speaking as one whose abililty to use a knife and fork **is** highly suspect I prefer looking uncouth at the table to walking around with food stains down my front. Same here. Especially since I eat at Mexican restaurants a lot, and the foods tend to be messy. Give me a couple of extra napkins and pass the queso dip and chips, please. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-etiquette-tucking-a-napkin-into-your-shirt/260102.md?page=2)