# Dinner for Six

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [October 15, 1999, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849 "1999-10-15T18:26:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/21 "1999-10-16T06:26:00Z")

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Poly, I am so upset! I thought this thread was you going to discuss where you were buying dinner for all of us Dopers!

Well, if I was going to invite four folks to diner, I guess they would be:

(1) Jesus Christ. Would be great if he pulled some post-meal parlor tricks.

(2) Bob Costas. I know - “What?!?” But I’ve always respected the guy, and I think he does what he does very well. And a short guy who winds up in his position within the world of sports is an inspiration to all!

(3) Adolph Hitler. Why not? I’d be curious about what made the dude tick…

(4) Babe Ruth. We’d smoke cigars and talk baseball!

* * *

Yer pal,  
Satan

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**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/22 "1999-10-16T06:29:00Z")

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Nobody. I hate social occasions like that.

* * *

“To me, socks are like sex. Tons of it about, and I don’t seem to get any.”

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**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/23 "1999-10-16T08:00:00Z")

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Leonard, Julius, Adolph & Herbert Marx.

Once, just once, I wanna have dinner with somebdy funnier than me.

We’ll order cheese sandwiches and argue abut the check…then lodge with my fleas in the hills.

* * *

JB  
Lex Non Favet Delictorum Votis

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**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/24 "1999-10-16T15:38:00Z")

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Darn it, Polycarp, thought for a sec you’d made that reservation at the Angus Barn…

1. Richard III. I’m dying to know what he was _really_ like, and whether he killed the princes.

2. Ben Jonson. Not only interesting in his own right, but he knew EVERYBODY, and was probably the biggest gossip the literary world has ever known. Also, if this dinner is taking place before Wednesday, I could use his help on a paper…

3. Dorothy L. Sayers. Actually, I’d probably be too much in awe of the woman to say a word, but what the hell. (I bet she’d like to meet Ben, too.)

4. Wayne Gretzky. Gotta keep the SO entertained, you know.

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**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/25 "1999-10-16T18:26:00Z")

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1.) Jimi Hendrix. IMO, there are two surpreme musical geniuses; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the other, but I think I would be better able to talk to Jimi. Plus he could give me a few tips on how to play the axe.  
2.) Louis Pasteur. IMO, the greatest chemist who ever lived, and supposedly a true gentleman.  
3.) Elizabeth I, one of the brightest and most fascinating women who ever lived. Plus, I understand her looks weren’t bad.  
4.) (cannot remember how to spell the first name) Ramujan, one of the greatest mathematicians who ever lived.  
5.) Since I lack a partner at present, I would also invite Carole Lombard. I understand she was quite witty, and, of course, she was very attractive.

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**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/26 "1999-10-16T20:32:00Z")

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1.) My birthmother  
2.) My deceased mom  
3.) My birthfather  
4.) My over-controlling father

Why? Because this has been the biggest mystery of my life.

I would like to have answers to the hows and whys of my life.

Why my mom died and was an abusive woman. I woulda put her in the hospital if she hadn’t died when I was 15, I was hitting the critical point of self-defense with her. Even so I still loved her.

Why my birthmother doesn’t want to meet me even after 30 + years. I think I am a good person and would NEVER contact her parents because they don’t know me. (that’s up to her)I do have some sense of consideration.

Why my birthfather wanted to “take care of it.” Hey father of my genes, I apparently look a lot like you!

And last but not least, why can’t my father lighten up on me? Dad, I am doing my best with what you and mom gave me so why are you so critical of me, I am partly the product of the things you taught me!

(sheesh, I think it’s easier to let the dead and unknown off the hook than it is the only living person that you look up to every day yet somehow can hurt you more than those that have done worse to you and are gone.)

Go figure, I would bring up some negative thinking on this issue, but I want answers!

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/27 "1999-10-16T20:35:00Z")

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Abbie Hoffman, Anita Hoffman(his widow,also deceased),Jerry Rubin,and Chris Farley.It would be a fun dinner.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/28 "1999-10-16T20:38:00Z")

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Actually,just last night,I thought up a straight dope party.I was going to start a thread of it,but it fits here. Satan would be the witty entertainment;Kellibelli will try to upstage him,Tennhippie will make up limericks while we eat;snarkberry was invited but wouldn’t come because of all the people;Danielbostaph will lose at Pictionary because he writes too big;After the party,Satan will say he noticed jodih had a good time,upon which she will burst back into the party to yell at him,and will get knocked down by Officegirl hanging from the chandeleir.Cecil will have been there,but noone knew it. 🙂

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/29 "1999-10-16T20:39:00Z")

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Hmmmm…

1.) Niccolo Machiavelli  
2.) Sun-Tzu  
3.) Field Marshall Erwin Rommel  
4.) General George S. Patton Jr.

I don’t know exactly what would be on the menu, but I’m sure it would be bloody rare (maybe a good prime rib with au jus and horseradish, along with butter-boiled red potatoes and snap green beans, washed down with Glenlivet) and for our after dinner entertainment?

“How to take over the world in 7 campaigns or less”

_ **\<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”\>ExTank** _\</FONT\>  
_\<FONT COLOR=“BLUE”\>“Coming soon to a war near you!”_\</FONT\>

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**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 1999, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/30 "1999-10-16T20:48:00Z")

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Jesus  
Rene Descartes  
Thomas Jefferson  
Dorothy Parker

Lacking a SO and preferring the company of the living, I get to add Bernadine Healey to the mix.

* * *

Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

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**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 1999, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/31 "1999-10-17T03:38:00Z")

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Oh, wait! Polycarp game me an idea:

1. Io
2. Europa
3. Ganymede
4. Callisto

I’ve always wanted to have Jupiter’s largest moons all crammed into my dining room!

* * *

Quick-N-Dirty Aviation: Trading altitude for airspeed since 1992.

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**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 1999, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/32 "1999-10-17T03:57:00Z")

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Whatever would you feed them?

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**Author:** ![\_00\_The\_Fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/ed655f/32.png) [@\_00\_The\_Fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_00_The_Fool)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 1999, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/33 "1999-10-17T04:17:00Z")

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Why, Ambrosia of course! 😉

* * *

“Oh we were brought up on the Space-Race, now they expect us to clean toilets. When you have seen how big the world is how can you make do with this?”  
Pulp, “Glory Days”

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**Author:** ![AzRaek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/azraek/32/16739_2.png) [@AzRaek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzRaek)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/34 "1999-10-18T01:23:00Z")

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1. Hannibal of Carthage
2. Napoleon
3. Neil Peart
4. Sylvester Stallone-my SO’s pick

* * *

“On the edge of sleep, I awoke to a sun so bright…”

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**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/35 "1999-10-18T02:16:00Z")

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1.) Elizabeth I  
2.) Hillel  
3.) Mark Twain  
4.) Mme. de Stael  
And as I am w/o a SO at the moment, I would invite Benjamin Franklin as my escort and co-host.

Veb

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**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/36 "1999-10-18T02:25:00Z")

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Dear TVeblen:  
Is the Mme. de Stael you’re referring to the one who was the mistress of Talleyrand and an ambassador to France at the time of the Revolution?

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**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/37 "1999-10-18T14:15:00Z")

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1. Cecil Adams
2. Jon Benet Ramsey (so we can end that damned thread)
3. The dead alien from Roswell (Whoops! We have an empty chair.)
4. God (Whoops! Two empty chairs.)

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**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/38 "1999-10-18T15:16:00Z")

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1. Petronius
2. Li Po
3. Dr. Samuel Johnson
4. Charles Baudelaire

I have NO damn idea what we’d talk about, but I’ve always wanted to meet these four.

* * *

Uke

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![dramatoig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@dramatoig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dramatoig)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/39 "1999-10-18T15:57:00Z")

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Hmmm. As I too have no S/O, I claim the right to five guests:

1. Aphra Behn–spy, novelist, succesful playwright–the model of the Restoration woman.

2. William Shakespeare–for obvious reasons.

3. P. G. Wodehouse–“you interest me strangly, P. G.”–could there be a wittier companion than him and

4. Dorothy Parker–I think my aim in this dinner is to get milk coming out of someone’s nose laughing…

5. Albert Einstein–a funny man, and able to inject some real wonder into the occasion as well.

This all reminds me of that old Steve Allen show where they improved or scripted actual dinners like this, with actors playing the famous dead (obviously) and Steve officiating…

* * *

“You must not mind me madam; I say strange things, but I mean no harm.”  
–Samuel Johnson

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\
**Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-for-six/16849/40 "1999-10-18T18:48:00Z")

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Sorta like Rich Little acting out having Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan all playing poker together?

FORD: Hey, there are only 3 antes on the table!  
CARTER: I anted.  
REAGAN: I anted.  
FORD: I anted.  
NIXON: … Well, what’s everybody looking at _me_ for?

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