# Dinner guest on cell phone ... WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2018, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170 "2018-03-25T19:36:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/121 "2018-03-31T00:08:12Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > My own nieces and nephews seem to have missed out on that part of their upbringing. … The things is, parents are so busy just getting the kids to eat decent food, they don’t have time to fuss about how it gets from plate to mouth, and no one has Sunday Dinner in the formal dining room when ‘real’ manners are demonstrated. And no one really wants that surly 14 year old to look up from the screen, anyhow. Still, just try to get someone to pass the salt and pepper together without using them first. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/122 "2018-03-31T00:55:20Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Also, I don’t consider that to be “getting between the nephew and the spouse” - I consider that giving both the nephew and the spouse the same set of rules and holding them both to them. She’s just a girlfriend, not a spouse (yet). Maybe this action might prevent her from becoming the ‘spouse’. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/123 "2018-03-31T01:04:43Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Is it any different than a “guest” coming to your home and insisting on smoking… Yes, it is different. No one is at risk of second hand cell phone use, and the use of a cell phone doesn’t leave a lingering smell in your house. Further, **storyteller’s** post #120 is spot on. If all you want to do is win, then take the action you propose. If you value your relationship with the nephew, don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/124 "2018-03-31T15:46:13Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Oh LA DI DA, look at Mr. Fancy ‘I don’t staple Fritos bags on MY dining room walls’! 😃 \<------- Choking with laughter. Well played, well played. Hey, if they can do a collection at the kids’s school for soda can pull-tabs, surely they can do a collection for snack foil bags. Instead of just Fritos, it could become a collage !! And then we would have Art, my friends. Real Pop Art. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/125 "2018-03-31T19:16:44Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Yes, it is different. No one is at risk of second hand cell phone use, and the use of a cell phone doesn’t leave a lingering smell in your house. you left out the rest of the sentence. What about guests who insist on drinking, foul language, political rants? It’s pretty simple, if you don’t want the socially challenged in your house, don’t invite them. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/126 "2018-03-31T20:07:21Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > you left out the rest of the sentence. What about guests who insist on drinking, foul language, political rants? > > It’s pretty simple, if you don’t want the socially challenged in your house, don’t invite them. Why do I hear Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” faintly in the background?.. Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/127 "2018-04-01T02:06:36Z")
I agree that correcting her manners is -unfortunately- rude in and of itself. It’s a shame because it’s information that she needs, and which hopefully her boyfriend will impart to her in private. In the meantime, continue to invite her but be careful to include her in the conversation. If she picks up her phone, assume that she is feeling awkward and left out. Aim a question or a comment her way with alacrity. If she persists, invite her over for tea -just you two- and apologize for her obvious feelings of isolation at your table. Let her know how mortified you are as her hostess to see her so continually bored and ask what kinds of topics might be more interesting for her. Encourage her to lead the conversation in another direction if she begins to feel left out. If none of that works, we may have to allow you a slow, icy: “Ohhhh dear. I see that we are boring Janie again. Perhaps Janie, you’d be so kind as to suggest a more interesting topic?” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/128 "2018-04-01T04:55:56Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > you left out the rest of the sentence. What about guests who insist on drinking What’s wrong with drinking? If I invite someone over for dinner, you’re damn sure there’s going to be drinking! > [@](#): > > , foul language Fuck 'em! > [@](#): > > , political rants? It’ll remind me of this place! > [@](#): > > It’s pretty simple, if you don’t want the socially challenged in your house, don’t invite them. If someone starts talking on their phone at the dinner, yes that is rudeness that interrupts everyone’s conversation and should be corrected on the spot. If someone is texting, it doesn’t really interrupt the rest of the folks. Yeah, it’s rude but it’s something that’s easy enough to ignore. It’s not so much different than if the person is daydreaming-- that is, taking themselves out of the conversation. Personally, I think it’s very bad manners for a dinner guest to text or otherwise fuss with their phone. But you don’t “fix” that by forcing your favorite nephew to choose between you and his texting girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/129 "2018-04-01T05:48:41Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Why do I hear Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” faintly in the background?.. > > Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk The same reason you hear other things in the background? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/130 "2018-04-01T05:53:33Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Personally, I think it’s very bad manners for a dinner guest to text or otherwise fuss with their phone. But you don’t “fix” that by forcing your favorite nephew to choose between you and his texting girlfriend. Nobody’s suggesting anybody be forced to do anything. Your ill-mannered friend is not part of this invitation. Come to dinner without her or do an infinite number of other things with your time. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/131 "2018-04-01T06:22:56Z")
Good manners are really just consideration for others present–not only the hosts but other guests. And I like this from Emily Post: “If you are by yourself in the kitchen and your meal is just about nourishment, text away. No problem! But if you’re having dinner with friends and family, _be_ with them.” To me it seems obvious the girlfriend believes she’s fulfilled the OP’s request by not using her phone during the meal, itself. Since she’s obviously not aware she’s upsetting the OP (and possibly other guests, when present) by texting after the meal, I think the OP will have to diplomatically, pleasantly clarify the request. “Jen, I appreciate your not using your phone during the meal, but when someone texts or plays games during conversation, I find it distracting, and I can’t help feeling hurt that they don’t find the rest of us interesting enough to hold their attention.” If she’s really clueless, you might have to add, “Would you mind stepping into the other room when you need to text someone?” ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/132 "2018-04-01T06:40:45Z")
Based on what I’ve seen at restaurants, I’d say that behavior, especially by young people, has been very much normalized. I don’t think it is good, but it has been normalized. There aren’t PSAs in restaurants saying “dont be a dick on cellphones” like there are in movie theaters (thank GOD for those), and I think in the absence of that, things tend to devolve. I don’t think it is immediately obvious to teenagers, and many adults, that cellphone usage in the presence of supposedly important people is anti social. Maybe it’s because they’re being “social” with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2018, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170/133 "2018-04-01T11:14:57Z")
I think we should all take comfort knowing that whatever, in your face, techno intrusion, Gen Next devises, it must surely be even worse than this manifestation, dontcha think? It will probably be read your mind shit that enables your snotty teenager to interrupt you two sentences ahead of your speaking them! Ha! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dinner-guest-on-cell-phone-wtf/811170.md?page=6)