# Diplomacy - Dominatrix **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727 "2003-07-02T05:54:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/61 "2003-07-13T04:08:18Z")
Nope: Spring Phase 1. Diplomatic 2. Order Writing 3. Order Resolution 4. Retreat and Disbanding Fall Phase 1. Diplomatic 2. Order Writing 3. Order Resolution 4. Retreat and Disbanding 5. Gaining and Losing Units ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/62 "2003-07-13T04:10:43Z")
Ok. So I could attack an empty home province and take it, even if a build order had been in place? Cool. And why was my analysis so short? I demand more praise! ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/63 "2003-07-13T04:20:09Z")
Um . . . Everone in the Western half of Europe had better watch their home centers methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/64 "2003-07-13T04:26:03Z")
That was hypothetical, of course. :wally ;j ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/65 "2003-07-13T04:42:43Z")
So, when do the e-mails start arriving? I’m composing several as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/66 "2003-07-13T04:46:23Z")
Of to bed for now. Emails in the morning! ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/67 "2003-07-13T05:02:00Z")
Emails sent. Look foreward to reading them in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/68 "2003-07-13T11:20:51Z")
Luigi…come here for a second. Explain to the nice man **ShibbOleth** that Italians are never “pesky”, but “hospitable”. We like to make everybody welcome. And let’s be honest: Who wouldn’t prefer a nice fluffy _Tiramisu_ to that heavy _Wiener Schnitzel_? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/69 "2003-07-13T12:17:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny Bravo \* > \*\*Ok. So I could attack an empty home province and take it, even if a build order had been in place? Cool. > > And why was my analysis so short? I demand more praise! \*\* Let me try to make this simpler for you: Spring: Sweet talk, everybody else attacks each other. You move swiftly and silently outward. **Omni** announces the results. Fall: More sweet talk, followed by flowers and chocolates, then everyone else continues attacking each other while you move swiftly and silently outwards. While you eat _pain chocolat_ and sip bitter coffee, Omni works hard to adjudicate and publish the results. Some retreats might need to be made\*. Summer: No sweet talk, it’s not allowed. Instead Paris erupts in spontaneous celebration as you announce the addition of new territory to the Empire. Red wine flows like blood and you devour what suspiciously resembles the innards of young cows (_rognons du veau_, anyone? And bring a nice _Chateauneuf du Pape avec, garçon_! You now have earned the right to build new Armies or Navies to further the dominion of the French, as your people eat snails and fungus and suck down cold bottles of _1664_ while amusing themselves at le _Moulin Rouge_ or _les Folies Bregeres_. Germany, Italy and England all plot their revenge, while cursing themselves for being seduced by your gifts of fancy lace underwear and pretentious art. Your greatest thinkers now spend their time thinking up automobiles with strange hyrdaulic systems and awaiting new wave cinema. _Incredible!_ Clear? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/70 "2003-07-13T12:23:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Einmon \* > \*\*Luigi…come here for a second. > > Explain to the nice man **ShibbOleth** that Italians are never “pesky”, but “hospitable”. We like to make everybody welcome. > > And let’s be honest: Who wouldn’t prefer a nice fluffy _Tiramisu_ to that heavy _Wiener Schnitzel_? \*\* Dear, dear. You were only supposed to read the part addressed to you, of course. What, did I publish all of those comments in a public forum? Forgive me. Of course a nice schnitzel, Viennese coffee, or tiramisu are all lovely. Just depends on which meal that one is eating. Sometimes they go nicely together. Can’t drink _cafe espresso_ all the time, can we? Think of how that would set your heart to racing. Then you’d almost have to take all that aggression out in the Dolomites, no? And what would that do for Austrian/Italian relationships? I’m sure you’ve only sent your nice paisanos up there for a weapons check. A simple misunderstanding. Now can you just get this Hemingway fellow to go home, please? He’s stirring up the Americans with his descriptions of the war. Soon sensibilities will be inflamed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/71 "2003-07-13T17:16:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > \*\*Let me try to make this simpler for you… > …clear? \*\* Aww… I bet you say that to all the Frances! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/72 "2003-07-13T17:19:08Z")
**Shibb** , was there supposed to be a notation there? If you’re not taking your job of teaching these newbies seriously, then who’s gonna do it? Oh, and that should go _Spring. Fall, **Winter** _, not Summer. To clarify in case **Shibb’s** fine point was missed, the order of events is like this: Spring 1901: Kiss babies, shake hands, make promises and subsequently break them as you move your units about. Summer 1901: All chatter should be silent at this point. In 1901 there is no need for a Summer turn, so it’s a bad example, but later in the game this will be the period where all you take your time scraping your dead from the battle fields and retreating to the allowed locations. Fall 1901: Chatter resumes, kiss interns, shake babies, make apologies for the previous broken promises, make new promises and break them as your units scurry about the board. Winter 1901: First there’s more of that scraping of the dead and the retreating of the humbled forces. Then, all the Supply Centers are tallied, and if you have more SCs than you have grumpy armies and navies you get to build more on your vacant home SCs. If you have less SCs than you have overly taxed and bloodied armies and navies, then we take some of them away to Valhalla. Resume to Spring 1902, rinse and repeat. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/73 "2003-07-13T19:02:35Z")
Wow. The Balkans got messy in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/74 "2003-07-14T13:36:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omniscient \* > \*\*… > Resume to Spring 1902, rinse and repeat. \*\* Very nice synopsis, **OMni** , you only forgot _lather_. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/75 "2003-07-14T16:34:48Z")
Oh, one more point that new players often miss. You have to occupy a supply center at the END of the fall to conquer it. So if you’ve occupied a supply center this spring, it won’t be added to your territory if you move off it. Supply centers are conquered in the Fall. The other thing to remember is that a unit can occupy a center with a retreat…if you dislodge an enemy unit they can retreat to any unoccupied province. This might apply in the Italy-Austria situation. Suppose Austria attacks Trieste, and dislodges the Italian army there. Well, Italy could concievably retreat to Budapest, unless that center is blocked too. So the general rule is: In Spring attack for position, in Fall attack for territory. Oh, and I HATE that instruction: Lather, rinse, repeat. I once was stuck in a shower for hours until I finally used up the whole bottle of shampoo. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/76 "2003-07-14T18:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, one more point that new players often miss. You have to occupy a supply center at the END of the fall to conquer it. So if you’ve occupied a supply center this spring, it won’t be added to your territory if you move off it. Supply centers are conquered in the Fall. Well that sucks. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/77 "2003-07-14T18:10:38Z")
Frankly (oh, the gall of some puns), **JB** , I don’t see **Lemur** ’s point affecting you at all. It will suck later, though. But one other, other point (that adds on the previous point): You can’t retreat to a province/SC that was engaged in battle, even if it’s vacant and you had nothing to do with it. Let’s say that Russia and Germany clash in Kiel, and Germany’s fleet there must retreat. At the same time England and France bounced in Holland. Germany can NOT retreat to Holland, even though it is vacant. [/End totally hypothetical example that I’ve probably screwed up and **Omni** will come along any sec to correct me] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/78 "2003-07-14T19:41:39Z")
I had been planning on just moving my army through Spain to Portugal. I apparantly can’t do that if I want three builds in the Fall. ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/79 "2003-07-14T21:40:05Z")
You’re wrong, **Johnny Bravo**. Just to let you know… ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727/80 "2003-07-14T23:01:06Z")
To be a bit more overt (I’ll happily do it for any player in any game I’m not playing) you can land a fleet, **Johnny**. But no, there is no blitzkrieg like in Axis & Allies. Just remember that if you land your fleet on Spain from the Mid Atlantic Ocean, you’ll need to specify the coast (north or south). So, the builds in the Fall: (definitely means it can’t be stopped by the other players, just your own mistakes) France definitely gets 3 (very, very impressive) England definitely gets 1 (a solid start, except for the F London Hold) Germany definitely gets 1 (don’t make more enemies than absolutely necessary) Italy gets at least 1, at most 2 (doing good, for Italy) Austria gets 0 or 1 (ah, the joys of a four front war) Russia gets something from one disband to two builds, depending on Turkey, Austria, and Germany. (unlucky, **Mastema**. Kiss ass and keep.) If any of you have questions that you don’t want to ask on this thread, you could do worse than e-mailing one of the players in the other dip games. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/diplomacy-dominatrix/185727.md?page=5)