# Dirtiest line I can remember in any mainstream film **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 6, 2017, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620 "2017-09-06T08:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2017, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/41 "2017-09-07T08:23:59Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > There’s a line in “Monsters, Inc.” that I couldn’t believe got past the censors, because it’s a kids’ movie. One of them says something like “I need to milk my yak, but unfortunately, I always get hairs in my teeth.” > > 😕 :eek: > > And there’s also a line in “Inside Out” where the little girl insists that there are no bears in San Francisco. :o It’s pretty common for kids’ movies to throw in little sexual innuendos for the grown-ups. It just goes over the kids’ heads and they think nothing of it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2017, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/42 "2017-09-07T11:02:30Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It’s pretty common for kids’ movies to throw in little sexual innuendos for the grown-ups. It just goes over the kids’ heads and they think nothing of it. As one group at a Renaissance Fair used to say in advance of each performance: “If your kids get our jokes, it’s not our fault.” > [@](#): > > Two lines you probably don’t remember because they’ve been edited out of almost every version of the films. > > Sonny Corleone in The Godfather: > “Hey, listen, I want somebody good - and I mean very good - to plant that gun. I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?” I think you’re wrong about tis. Although for TV broadcast I’ve heard this changed to “with _a stick_ in his hand\*” (which sounds almost the same as the original), I’m pretty sure that the line is unaltered on DVD and VHS releases. Not plural “hands”. Nobody’s claiming gigantism. ---
**Author:** ![Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/les_espaces_du_sommeil/32/308_2.png) [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Les_Espaces_Du_Sommeil)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2017, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/43 "2017-09-07T11:31:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It’s pretty common for kids’ movies to throw in little sexual innuendos for the grown-ups. It just goes over the kids’ heads and they think nothing of it. Indeed. There’s one that caught me completely off-guard in the otherwise totally forgettable French kid comedy [Les Vacances de Ducobu](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2011961/?ref_=ttexrv_exrv_tt). While the film centers on the children, there’s a side story that focuses on two divorced parents, who are irresistably attracted to one another. At one point, the woman is cooking some ray fish when the man walks by. They start talking, with lots pregnant pauses, akward smiles and blushes, when all of a sudden, the woman turns back towards the grill, leans forward and exclaims : “Oh, my ray’s burning !”. Fine. Except that “ray” also means “slit” :eek:. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2017, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/44 "2017-09-07T15:16:45Z")
To the OP: I agree that “Night Moves” is a great movie. A little “confusing”, but good stuff. Young Melanie Griffith is almost unrecognizable. But man, Jennifer Warren was never hotter ! Which segues to another Jennifer Warren movie that I can’t believe hasn’t been mentioned in this “dirtiest line” thread: “Slap Shot” There are tons, but one that comes to mind is Paul Newman telling off the owner of the club (keeping in mind this was when gay bashing was still common): “Your son looks like a fag. You better get married again soon, or he’ll have a cock in his mouth before you can say ‘Jackie Robinson’” Along the lines of the woodpile line, there was a line in “Into the Wild”, when the kid is staying out at the camp in the desert, and Kristen Stewart has the hots for him. The guy the kid is staying with says something about Kristen being about ready to “do a backflip onto a fence post”, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2017, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/45 "2017-09-07T15:28:07Z")
Not a movie, but TV: > [@](#): > > Lisa: Dad, how can you put a price on your dignity. > Homer: She’s right. Yes, I may be naked and reeking of panda > love, but I’ve got to stop this before it goes too far. ---
**Author:** ![TYphoonSignal8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@TYphoonSignal8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TYphoonSignal8)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/46 "2017-09-08T02:13:45Z")
“Is this martini dirty enough for you, Mr Stark?” Delivered cool as a cucumber by Scarlet Johanssen. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/47 "2017-09-08T11:18:49Z")
Vladislav in What We Do In The Shadows, explaining why vampires prefer to drink the blood of virgins: “I think of it this way. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if nobody had fucked it”. Never heard a movie theatre howl so loudly at a line. ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/48 "2017-09-08T12:44:40Z")
From _An Officer and a Gentleman_: “Stop eyeballing me, or I’ll rip your eyeballs out and skullfuck you to death.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/49 "2017-09-08T13:52:48Z")
> [@cormac262](#): > > Which segues to another Jennifer Warren movie that I can’t believe hasn’t been mentioned in this “dirtiest line” thread: “Slap Shot” > There are tons, but one that comes to mind is Paul Newman telling off the owner of the club (keeping in mind this was when gay bashing was still common): “Your son looks like a fag. You better get married again soon, or he’ll have a cock in his mouth before you can say ‘Jackie Robinson’” “Hey Hanrahan! Suzanne sucks pussy!” Great movie. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/50 "2017-09-08T14:45:38Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > There’s a line in “Monsters, Inc.” that I couldn’t believe got past the censors, because it’s a kids’ movie. One of them says something like “I need to milk my yak, but unfortunately, I always get hairs in my teeth.” > > 😕 :eek: Even though sexual innuendos are often thrown into kids films, that one seems to be a bit extreme for me, so I looked up the quote. It’s this: “Yak’s Milk. Milking a yak ain’t exactly a picnic, but once you pick the hairs out, it’s very nutritious.” (Unless there’s another yak’s milk reference somewhere, or it’s been altered in the version I found.) I suppose you can take that as a blowjob reference, but it’s quite a stretch. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/51 "2017-09-08T15:15:04Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Nitpick: it was actually Laura Ziskin, President of Fox 200 Pictures, who objected to the “abortion” line and demanded that it be changed. When David Fincher came up with the “grade school” line, she was aghast as she felt it was much worse, and insisted that the line be changed back. However, Fincher refused. Sometimes (not necessarily in this case) creators stick some [censor decoys](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CensorDecoy) in their work that is so bad that the censors/ratings boards will notice it and complain in the hopes of getting something else through by looking mild in comparison. [Sometimes the censors fail to notice that they are being baited](http://dangerousminds.net/comments/chuck_barris_is_dead_but_the_scandalous_popsicle_twins_will_live_forever). ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/52 "2017-09-08T15:44:26Z")
Just thought of one from one of my favorite movies, _The Specials_ (a mocumentary about the sixth or seventh best superhero team in the world.) There is a character (played by James Gunn) who has the ability to shrink. His hero name is “Minute Man” (as in really small) but people in the public that he meets keep calling him “Minute Man” (as in Revolutionary War militia.) This annoys him. He is having a conversation with another superhero played by Judy Greer: Minute Man: I’m thinking of changing my name. Judy Greer: Change it to what? Minute Man: To… ‘Small’ Judy Greer: Small-Man? Minute Man: No, just ‘Small’ Judy Greer: Well that’s pretty stupid. Minute Man: It’s better than Mr. Smart. Judy Greer: It’s better than Captain Cuntface too. Then there is a conversation between a superhero played by Michael Weatherly and one played by Rob Lowe called The Weevil (because he was bitten by a radioactive one and gained the proportional strength of a weevil.): Michael Weatherly: You know what first ran through my head, when I discovered I was the world’s strongest man? The Weevil: No. Michael Weatherly: Think of the pussy, Weevil. The Weevil: (Disgusted look on his face) What’s a pussy-weevil? ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/53 "2017-09-09T12:02:44Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “My God, I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.” > > - Fight Club LOL. Yep, that’s the quote I came in here to add. It was a “Holy Shit!” moment when I first heard it, then I busted out laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/54 "2017-09-09T12:12:38Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > From the outtakes to “Grumpy Old Men”: Looks like Chuck’s taking the skin boat to tuna town! And I seem to remember a collection of outtakes where Burgess Meredith is ad-libbing several of these. Found it! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/hh81LMz1sPo/hqdefault.jpg "Grumpy Old Men Outtakes") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh81LMz1sPo) ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/55 "2017-09-09T18:46:35Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Mel talked about it with me (and about 500 others) in July. Unless he included the line on the DVD and forgot. Hey he said the same thing to me too about it! Along with about [2400 others](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=795592). ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/56 "2017-09-09T19:47:52Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > The bolded line has never been in any released version of _Blazing Saddles_. Mel talked about it with me (and about 500 others) in July. Unless he included the line on the DVD and forgot. IIRC, the actual line was “I hate to tell you this, baby, but that’s my elbow you’re suckin’ on.” If we can count _ **The Simpsons** _, I couldn’t believe it when I heard Principal Skinner tell a squirrel “Now chew through my ball sack!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/57 "2017-09-09T20:04:31Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Sometimes (not necessarily in this case) creators stick some [censor decoys](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CensorDecoy) in their work that is so bad that the censors/ratings boards will notice it and complain in the hopes of getting something else through by looking mild in comparison. [Sometimes the censors fail to notice that they are being baited](http://dangerousminds.net/comments/chuck_barris_is_dead_but_the_scandalous_popsicle_twins_will_live_forever). In _**Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Book): Mønti Pythøn Ik Den Hølie Gräilen (Bøk)**_, there’s an exchange of memos with the censors in which they negotiate over how many “shits” and “Jesus Christs” they can use in the movie. On the old _ **SNL** _, they managed to get “Pussy Whip: The first dessert for cats” past the censors. They failed, however, when it came to “Golden Showers” (a ritual of a cult of sun-worshippers in Southern California) and the “blowhole” organ humans would acquire through evolution. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/58 "2017-09-09T20:07:27Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > IIRC, the actual line was “I hate to tell you this, baby, but that’s my elbow you’re suckin’ on.” Nope. It’s “arm.” The rest of your quote is way off as well. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/59 "2017-09-09T20:12:54Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Nope. It’s “arm.” The rest of your quote is way off as well. That’s how it was printed in an issue of \*\*\*Gallery \*\*\*back in 1978 or '79. The title of the article was “What Makes Mel Kaminsky So Crazy?” (or something like that). I still have the magazine packed away somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620/60 "2017-09-09T21:26:41Z")
Dennis Hopper: “The River’s Edge”. “Yeah, years ago. Oh, man. I ate so much pussy in those days, my beard looked like a glazed doughnut.” And, not so much dirty but because I like it: From “Strange Days”: “His ass is so tight that when he farts only dogs can hear it.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-line-i-can-remember-in-any-mainstream-film/795620.md?page=4)