# Dirtiest Songs (Possibly NSFW) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947 "2009-06-25T16:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/1 "2009-06-25T16:19:40Z")
I nominate [CKY’s Skelator Vs Beastman.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDtcIqXkjDY) Lyrics provided below. [spoiler]Now get outta here. huuh, you fool get the fuck out! mmhhhm You ready? You Goddamn better believe it.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/2 "2009-06-25T17:12:31Z")
Brandon Cruz, formerly of “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” became a singer in a punk band called Dr. Know, and penned the wonderful song “Fist F\*ck” Lyrics: Fist Fuck shove it up your ass Fist Fuck take it like a man [YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etXWwc95wRs) ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/3 "2009-06-25T17:17:08Z")
Hit 'em up by 2Pac? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/4 "2009-06-25T17:18:05Z")
Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/5 "2009-06-25T17:18:26Z")
Mr Bungles _Squeeze Me, Macaroni_ is always my vote. The only words I comprehended the first pass through was “Knick knack paddywhack, and give your dog a bone”, which takes on new meaning when you read the lyrics (which aren’t about bestiality but that interpretation does round out the song.) ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/6 "2009-06-25T17:19:21Z")
_Little Susie Shallow Throat_ by David Allan Coe Little Susie Shallow Throat was lonely All the girls all made fun of her at school ‘Cause no matter how she tried She could not get a dick inside Her shallow throat Shallow throat ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/7 "2009-06-25T17:21:57Z")
[My Ding-A-Ling](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MLBfwblps8) Chuck Berry 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/8 "2009-06-25T17:42:06Z")
_The Good Ship Venus_, in any of its various iterations; my favourite can be found here: [noparse][http://ismaels.wordpress.com/2009/04/12/rogue’s-gallery-the-art-of-the-siren-25/[/noparse]](http://ismaels.wordpress.com/2009/04/12/rogue%E2%80%99s-gallery-the-art-of-the-siren-25/%5B/noparse%5D) (NSFW, some censored nudity), sung by Loudon Wainwright III. It’s basically a collection of exceedingly smutty naval-themed limericks put to music. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/9 "2009-06-25T17:55:41Z")
Please confine all song quotes to about one verse, folks. Thanks. If you want to show the full song, the way to go is to link to a page with the lyrics. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/10 "2009-06-25T18:08:14Z")
“I’ve been so Mad Lately” by the truly awesome but truly terrible punk band Butt Trumpet. The first verse goes a little like this: Shit fuck hell damn shit fuck shit FUCK! Shit-for-brains asshole dickweed lowlife! You’re a motherfucker and I hate you Fuck shit hell damn shit fuck! Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you I’m pissed I’m pissed I’m so pissed off I’m so fucking pissed! ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/11 "2009-06-25T18:20:31Z")
How about Adam Sandler’s [At a Medium Pace](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLm5oSJRxIU&feature=PlayList&p=7EAD1396EB5D4A59&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=52)? ---
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/12 "2009-06-25T18:30:25Z")
Sigh. All of the respect and the new image I’ve tried to help give rap on these boards now gets wiped out in one foul, and I do mean _foul_, swoop… Afroman - [Crazy Rap(Colt 45)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0nHu82PmGU) ; [Lyrics](http://www.lyricsdownload.com/afroman-crazy-rap-lyrics.html) I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good. I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine. I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African. I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice. Don’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia. Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo. See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee! Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch. Met Colonel Sander’s wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I’ll fry some chicken if you just fuck me. I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices. Living Legends - [Addicted](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6MzakPRXVI); [Lyrics](http://lyrics.astraweb.com/display/544/living_legends..creative_differences..addicted.html) I bought the brand new Mac, the high speed Internet The dual-drives in the back, it’s lots of power like crack I’m addicted to these sites with the free pics, the tight ones Lots of categories, point your arrow, they’re a light sum I zone out in the web world of triple-X I never knew what a MILF was 'till I seen it, Yes! I like the Indian sites, forbidden paradise The red-dot special hoes, black sheep, said it ripe I like the “BangBus” and “8th Street Latinas” Tricking amateurs out, avoiding misdemeanors Flash the cash, they get in Bash those, kick 'em out Throw clothes to the floor, next girl on the route, hey! I’m hella picky, I click off girls quickly Don’t like them shaved and prickly, no pre-pubescence, icky That’s a NO-NO! Grow those hairy creampies I love the “Big Naturals” and the smooth, thick thighs I’ll save the lyrics(they’re easy enough to understand anyway), in favor a multiple songs, but while Too $hort was/is good(or bad), **Akinyele** ’s [Aktapuss](http://www.amazon.com/Aktapuss-Soundtrack-Akinyele/dp/B000021XVP) is the definitive dirty rap album. While his range is narrow, he does have some really funny/witty lines. Akinyele - [Juan Valdez, Love](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnneEOgOhDI); [Put It In My Mouth](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mAJU_ZKhEM); [Take A Lick](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqUtbj_Bd04) okay, no video, so some quick lyrics from the song _Three_… Ha! did ginger and marianne ever hit the skipper? The _three’s company_ chicks ever fuck jack tripper? Did orca and jaws ever run up in flipper? Did that spud dog ever fuck them three frog bud Sippers? Huh, that’s outlandish shit Two guys dancin with one girl, that’s that sandwich Shit Was wyclef and praswell scorin on lauryn? Was lil’ cease and un hittin lil’ kim? Did red alert and scale ever fuck wendy well? Did ak and flex ever fuck jess and stress? Shit, we can take it down the alphabets Did swv get with tlc And fuck them three fellas down with bbd? Remember mike bivins, abc They had more than three But if they cut a few Would they fuck them three girls from 702? Would erykah badu fuck them two righteous dudes \>from the brand nubian crew and include grand pu? Did mary j. blige ever fuck case and nas? Was arnold or willis ever comin on kimberly Drummond? Check it, remember this record: And when i’m cool like that, i’m cool like that I don’t know they name, damn it But i wonder did them niggas ever ram it In that girl from digable planets? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/13 "2009-06-25T18:30:57Z")
I don’t know about being one of the dirtiest songs ever, but I’ve always found it horrifying that a band called the Dead Kennedys had a song called “Too Drunk to Fuck.” And in looking up the lyrics, I find it’s not only nauseating, it’s misogynistic! But in my room Wish you were dead You ball like the baby In Eraserhead :eek: [Full lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deadkennedys/toodrunktofuck.html) ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/14 "2009-06-25T18:43:25Z")
**2 Live Crew’s** [A F\*\*\* is a F\*\*\*](http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/0-9/2_live_crew/a_fuck_is_a_fuck.html): [Spoiler]I got plenty many bitches to Move Somethin’ (Yeah!) I gots no time for silly games So it’s up to you, either hang on or stroll on! Only real bitches, not sorry lames (Ha ha!) If that’s what you want, you’re shit out of luck (My man ain’t got no time for no motherfuckin’ woman!) I’m out for the pussy 'cause a fuck is a fuck! (Fool!) A fuck is a fuck, NIGGA! A fuck is a fuck, HOE![/spoiler] …and there’s plenty more where that came from, in that particular song and in their larger oeuvre. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/15 "2009-06-25T18:51:12Z")
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, Everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re together, Brighter than a lucky penny, When you’re near the rain cloud disappears, dear, And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine. OK, maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/16 "2009-06-25T18:57:51Z")
And now, for something with some class: Alberta Hunter “[My Man is Such a Handy Man](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4505406898043114457)” …and there’s lots more glorious music where that came from… ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/17 "2009-06-25T19:02:54Z")
Not “dirty” in the in-your-face “fuck” and swearing way, but pretty out there nonetheless… two songs by Nightwish [Nymphomaniac Fantasia](http://www.nightwish.com/en/band/lyrics?a=1#7): [spoiler]Touch my milklike skin Feel the ocean Lick my deepest Hear the starry choir … Old love lies deep you said Deeper shall be the wound between your legs[/spoiler] And [Passion And The Opera](http://www.nightwish.com/en/band/lyrics?a=2#16) [spoiler]Drink from my thighs The rain of lies … Naked limbs reflecting from the moon I’ll be there for you soon First wish for this night: Let me be your delight[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/18 "2009-06-25T19:04:55Z")
The dirtiest song that doesn’t contain a single dirty word: [Brand New Key](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owIBVSendIY), by Melanie ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/19 "2009-06-25T19:06:37Z")
Khia - My Neck, My Back [spoiler]Lick this, just like you should Right now, Lick it good Lick this just like you should My Neck, my back Lick my pussy and my crack > **[MY NECK, MY BACK Lyrics - KHIA | eLyrics.net](https://www.elyrics.net/read/k/khia-lyrics/my-neck,-my-back-lyrics.html)** > > All you ladies pop that thang like this Shake your body, don't stop, don't quit All you ladies pop that thang like this Shake your body, ... [/spoiler] Ludacris - My Fantasy [spoiler]I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the fifty yard line While the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree And if you like in the club we can do it In the DJ booth or in the back of the V.I.P. Whipped cream with cherries and strawberries on top Lick it don’t stop, keep the door locked don’t knock while the boat rock > **[Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy Lyrics | AZLyrics.com](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ludacris/whatsyourfantasy.html)** > > Ludacris "What's Your Fantasy": Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Give it to me now, give it to me now Give it to me now, give it to me now Y... [/spoiler] Eazy-E - Gimme that Nutt [spoiler]I took her to tha pad and we started tah kiss Now my dick’s on hard ya know what I’m thinkin’ Took tha panties off and the pussy wasn’t stinkin’ Pulled off my draws and we started to begin Now tha pussy’s wet so my dick slides in Oh, hiddy hiddy hiddy you hoe Ridin’ from the back so I’m fuckin’ kinda slow [http://www.lyrics007.com/Eazy%20E%20Lyrics/GIMME%20THAT%20NUTT%20Lyrics.html](http://www.lyrics007.com/Eazy%20E%20Lyrics/GIMME%20THAT%20NUTT%20Lyrics.html) [/spoiler] And Cannibal Corpse is all around dirty and disgusting…won’t even inline anything. Beware if you click… [CANNIBAL CORPSE lyrics](http://www.darklyrics.com/c/cannibalcorpse.html) ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947/20 "2009-06-25T19:31:24Z")
DJ Assault’s **Dick by the pound** is the raunchiest **duet** I know. [listen](http://www.imeem.com/masterninja1021/music/SnB8iesc/dj-assault-dick-by-the-pound/) (audio, NSFW)! excerpt: “My dick can take a break and I’ll make your legs shake 'cuz I’ma lick you with my tongue and get your ass [something]” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtiest-songs-possibly-nsfw/500947.md?page=2)