# Dirty jokes in Shakespeare

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [February 21, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332 "2004-02-21T05:09:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332/41 "2012-04-19T14:12:08Z")

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My favorite, from _The Taming of the Shrew_:

> [@](#):
>
> PETRUCHIO
> 
> ```
> Come, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry.
> 
> ```
> 
> KATHARINA
> 
> ```
> If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
> 
> ```
> 
> PETRUCHIO
> 
> ```
> My remedy is then, to pluck it out.
> 
> ```
> 
> KATHARINA
> 
> ```
> Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,
> 
> ```
> 
> PETRUCHIO
> 
> ```
> Who knows not where a wasp does
> wear his sting? In his tail.
> 
> ```
> 
> KATHARINA
> 
> ```
> In his tongue.
> 
> ```
> 
> PETRUCHIO
> 
> ```
> Whose tongue?
> 
> ```
> 
> KATHARINA
> 
> ```
> Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.
> 
> ```
> 
> PETRUCHIO
> 
> ```
> **What, with my tongue in your tail?** nay, come again,
> Good Kate; I am a gentleman.
> 
> ```
> 
> KATHARINA
> 
> ```
> That I'll try.
> 
> ```

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332/42 "2012-04-19T23:36:19Z")

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> [@Fretful\_Porpentine](#):
>
> Best euphemism for sex since “making the beast with two backs.”

Wouldn’t it be closer to “Rubbing another man’s rhubarb”?

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**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332/43 "2012-04-20T00:33:33Z")

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We’re brushing this thread off again?

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**Author:** ![Lazy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc29f/32.png) [@Lazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazy)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-in-shakespeare/230332/44 "2012-04-21T22:58:01Z")

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> [@appleciders](#):
>
> One of the dirtiest jokes in Shakespeare, in my opinion, is a line that rarely gets a laugh in _Twelfth Night_: Malvolio’s description of his lady’s handwriting. He references her “C’s, her U’s, and her T’s, and thus she makes her great P’s,” clearly referencing the word “cunt.” Aguecheek emphasizes it, asking “Her C’s, her U’s and her T’s: why that?” Audiences don’t seem to get it, as though they don’t think they should be laughing at a “cunt” joke at a fancy Shakespeare play.

This is quite a multiple-entrendre: the letters in the letter; spelling out “cunt”; and a series of masturbation images – seize, use, tease, and great pees.

My English prof back in the 80s claimed that German critics usually point out that there are no capital Ps in the letter (I guess showing that they are missing the multiple-entendre.)

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