# Dirty jokes on old TV shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570 "2005-11-17T23:16:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/21 "2005-11-28T18:50:00Z")
I read once that on an early Tonight Show, Jack Parr introduced a well-endowed actress to the accompany of the bass drum: And here’s (BOOM BOOM) Jayne Manfield’s. The censors objected. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/22 "2005-11-28T19:38:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I read once that on an early Tonight Show, Jack Parr introduced a well-endowed actress to the accompany of the bass drum: And here’s (BOOM BOOM) Jayne Manfield’s. > > The censors objected. Hah! It’s not as if that’s anything new. Jane Russel got all those jokes over a decade earlier. They renamed the Frank Sinatra/Groucho Marx movie “It’s Only Money” as “Double Dynamite” when Jane Russell joined the cast. The posters for **The French Line** read “Jane Russell in 3-D. Need we say more?” They advertised “The Outlaw” by having skywriting planes draw two circles. Jayne Mansfield was even more brazen than Jane Russell. And they objected to two tympanis on TV? ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/23 "2005-11-28T19:48:13Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Ah, the joys of the DVR. Me too! Sometimes when I watch I wonder whether Dorothy was in her cups or not. I personally enjoy it when she is teased and becomes quite snippy. But for malapropisms she is the best on the show. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/24 "2005-11-28T20:59:30Z")
I used to think TV was getting a lot raunchier as I got older. And it is getting raunchier, but I just didn’t get a lot of the jokes when I was younger! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/25 "2005-11-28T21:06:07Z")
I recently caught about 2 minutes of a _Bewitched_ rerun in which a man asked a woman if she was a thespian, and the woman acted outraged until someone explained that he was asking if she was an actress. Considering it was on a family sitcom from the late 60s, I thought that was pretty close to the edge. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/26 "2005-11-28T21:11:22Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I read once that on an early Tonight Show, Jack Parr introduced a well-endowed actress to the accompany of the bass drum: And here’s (BOOM BOOM) Jayne Manfield’s. > > The censors objected. The line was “Here they are, Jayne Mansfield!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/27 "2005-11-28T21:24:17Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Hah! It’s not as if that’s anything new. Jane Russel got all those jokes over a decade earlier. They renamed the Frank Sinatra/Groucho Marx movie “It’s Only Money” as “Double Dynamite” when Jane Russell joined the cast. The posters for **The French Line** read “Jane Russell in 3-D. Need we say more?” They advertised “The Outlaw” by having skywriting planes draw two circles. Or the ever popular “Jane Russell in 3-D. It will knock _both_ your eyes out.” BTW, Mansfield was first noticed in Hollywood when she deliberately dropped the top of her bathing suit during a press junket promoting a Jane Russell movie. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/28 "2005-11-28T22:43:40Z")
Some great ones were heard on the original Hollywood Squares: Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army! Peter Marshall: In “Alice in Wonderland”, who kept crying “I’m late, I’m late?” Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it. Fans of the original Squares will remember those and a ton more. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/29 "2005-11-28T23:12:04Z")
I can’t remember the name of the movie or the man who starred in it (I seem to remember it being Cary Grant, but I’m really not sure), but in one scene, he wasn’t dressed and there was a knock at the door and the only thing he could grab to put on was a woman’s frilly bathrobe. He made a remark to the visitor that went something along the lines of, “I’m going all gay today.” That was a bit of a surprise! ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/30 "2005-11-28T23:24:37Z")
**Bringing Up Baby**. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/31 "2005-11-28T23:28:15Z")
It was from _Bringing Up Baby_ (1938), in a scene between Cary Grant and May Robson: > [@](#): > > Mrs. Random: Well, you look perfectly idiotic in those clothes. > David Huxley: These aren’t my clothes. > Mrs. Random: Well, where are your clothes? > David Huxley: I’ve lost my clothes! > Mrs. Random: But why are you wearing _these_ clothes? > David Huxley: Because I just went gay all of a sudden! And that last line wasn’t in the script — Cary Grant ad-libbed it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/32 "2005-11-28T23:51:48Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Some great ones were heard on the original Hollywood Squares: > > Peter Marshall: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married? > Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. > > Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? > Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army! > > Peter Marshall: In “Alice in Wonderland”, who kept crying “I’m late, I’m late?” > Paul Lynde: Alice, and her mother is sick about it. > > Fans of the original Squares will remember those and a ton more. 😃 [Or just use Google](http://www.classicsquares.com/lyndesquares.html). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/33 "2005-11-29T00:51:37Z")
Rolf the Dog, The Muppet Show, in the course of a song about cruelty to fruit, claimed, “I’ve even balled a melon…” Yowza. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/34 "2005-11-29T01:05:53Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > It was from _Bringing Up Baby_ (1938), in a scene between Cary Grant and May Robson: > > > [@](#): > > > > … > > David Huxley: Because I just went gay all of a sudden! But 1938 seems early for “gay” to have acquired its current connotation. Anyone know the timing of this? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/35 "2005-11-29T01:11:39Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > But 1938 seems early for “gay” to have acquired its current connotation. Anyone know the timing of this? The panel on What’s My Line? was using the term to mean “lively” and “fun-loving” through the end of the 50s. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/36 "2005-11-29T01:21:33Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > But 1938 seems early for “gay” to have acquired its current connotation. Anyone know the timing of this? Actually, it’s quite late. The word started having the meaning of “homosexual” in the 1890s (the OED has a first cite as an adjective in 1897). However, the meaning was not generally known to the straight world until the early 1970s. Gays kept it among themselves, using it as a way to approach other men. If you met someone and weren’t sure if he was gay or straight, you could say, “Are you interested in a gay time?” and the person’s reaction would show his sexual orientation. In addition to the “gay” line in **Bringing Up Baby** , a little later, Grant is again asked what he’s doing in the woman’s robe, and answers, “I’m just waiting for a bus on 42nd Street.” More gay slang: 42nd Street in NYC was where gays would look to pick up men; if challenged by the police, they’d say they were just waiting for a bus. ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/37 "2005-11-29T01:42:09Z")
On an episode of M_A_S\*H, the doctors were in the O.R., and as usual, Hawkeye was hitting on a nurse. Frank, miffed, asked Hawkeye, “Are you gonna knock it off?” Hawk replied, “That’s what I’m trying to find out!” Went right by the censors. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/38 "2005-11-29T02:15:22Z")
I am watching Cecil & Beanie with my kids. (Cartoon from 1961). Lots of word play and puns. They sailed to No Bikini Atoll. Cecil was quite excited by this. BTW: I never saw these before, I am too young but they are very funny and were done by Bob Clampett of Looney Tunes Fame. The kids love them. I rented them from NetFlix. Jim ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/39 "2005-11-29T15:25:09Z")
At least a couple of times, Red Skelton had a situation where a woman had fainted and he had to pick her up. He made a hilariously awkward show of picking her up from behind without putting his hands on her breasts. Thus, he could: look foolish, make a breast joke, and poke fun at censorship. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570/40 "2005-11-29T15:42:09Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Rolf the Dog, The Muppet Show, in the course of a song about cruelty to fruit, claimed, “I’ve even balled a melon…” > > Yowza. No, the line was “I’ve even made a melon bawl.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-jokes-on-old-tv-shows/331570.md?page=3)