# Dirty song parodies

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [December 17, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354 "2004-12-17T15:47:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354/21 "2004-12-21T09:18:37Z")

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Deck your balls with boughs of hol-ly  
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!!! :eek:

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**Author:** ![williamweigand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b3f665/32.png) [@williamweigand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williamweigand)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354/22 "2004-12-22T13:17:25Z")

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And, of course, the old classic…

Nothin’ could be finah  
Than to be in her vagina in the mor-r-rnin’!

Nothin’ could be sweeter  
Than my peter when I eat ‘er in the mor-r-rnin’!

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**Author:** ![fishingkaybee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc29f/32.png) [@fishingkaybee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishingkaybee)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354/23 "2004-12-22T14:51:22Z")

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I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas  
Mommy and Daddy are mad  
I’m gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas  
Cause I ain’t been nuttin’ but bad.

I slept with my uncle Bob somebody snitched on me  
I gave my priest his 1st blow job somebody snitched on me  
I got you drunk and you pissed your pants  
I made Johnny eat red ants  
I whacked off my cousin Lance somebody snitched on me

repeat 1st verse

I golden showered my nephew Joe somebody snitched on me  
I gave the baby her 1st dildo somebody snitched on me  
I 69’d my neighbor Lou  
I even did his brother too  
Then I smoked me a big bamboo somebody snitched on me.

Enjoy the holidays everyone.

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**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354/24 "2004-12-22T15:47:44Z")

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Is anyone still reading? It’s hard to believe. Here’s a few improved college fight songs:

Berkeley:

The dirty Golden Bear  
Is losing all his hair  
His teeth are out  
He’s got the gout  
He don’t know what it’s all about.

His eyes are made of glass  
That bear ain’t got no class  
So take your golden teddy bear  
And shove him up your golden ass!  
U$C:

Fight on, for old 'SC!  
They have to pay the referee.  
Fight on, for old 'SC!  
The quarterback forgot to pee.  
Stanford (not sure if this their fight song)

Oh, it’s beer, beer, beer  
That makes you want to cheer  
On the farm, on the farm  
It’s beer, beer, beer  
That makes you want to cheer  
On the Leland Stanford Junior Farm

My eyes are dim  
I cannot see  
I have not brought my specs with me!  
I have Hey! not Ho! brought my specs with me!

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**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-song-parodies/280354/25 "2004-12-22T16:20:17Z")

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And who could forget Jewel’s classic, “Who Will Shave Your Hole?”

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