# Dirty talk: Do you like it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080 "2010-08-04T00:14:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/41 "2010-08-04T19:06:21Z")
I had a girlfriend who would tell me to talk nasty to her. It really was sort of bittersweet, because I was turned on by the fact that she was turned on by that, but I was completely unable to do it the way she wanted. I had no experience in that arena and just didn’t know what to say. So I’d end up losing interest in what I was doing, or what she was doing to me, because I was wracked with panic over what to say and to be just nasty enough to make her happy but not so nasty to completely ruin it for both of us. We didn’t last too long. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/42 "2010-08-04T19:23:20Z")
Quoth the girlfriend: “the dirtier the better.” Shit. Where’s my thesaurus. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/43 "2010-08-04T19:23:54Z")
My husband and I have been together off and on for just over 20 years. We are pretty compatible, and our amorous exchanges aren’t really what I’d call dirty. Exactly 2 times I’ve been carried away in the moment enough to spontaneously blurt something truly raunchy. Both times he misheard me, and it brought the action to a halt. Patton Oswalt talks about G rated filth “i’m gonna fill your hoohah with goof juice” and how it’s far creepier than actual filth. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/44 "2010-08-04T19:35:47Z")
I only talk dirty to myself and I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/45 "2010-08-04T19:40:05Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Boy, I guess it just depends, doesn’t it? Being told what’s good, what works, what feels good, or what the other person would like to do next can be fun! > > Plus it can be edifying. Real-life transcript follows: > > A: \ > B: Really? I didn’t know you … okay! \ > A: \ I don’t know if I’d consider “what the other person would like to do next” to be dirty talk. We do that, and I think of it like a simple request, no different than asking for a particular cheese on your burger at dinner. My SO would agree with you, though. He’ll ask me if something feels good or if I like whatever it is he’s doing and I think it’s distracting. Am I moaning? Am I squirming around? Yes? Then I like it. He just wants me to SAY it, for whatever reason. I guess I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/46 "2010-08-04T19:40:58Z")
I like it, but there’s a fine line. “Fuck me harder, you beast” is good. “Slop your man-gravy over my taco boat” leaves something to be desired. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/47 "2010-08-04T19:41:17Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I only talk dirty to myself and I love it. That reminds me of a story. A few years ago, one of my friends heard, coming from her neighbor’s house, the sounds of smacking and verbal abuse. She called the police, who came and also heard what was going on, and entered the neighbor’s house, expecting to find someone getting their ass kicked. It was a man, smacking his own thigh, verbally abusing himself, and whacking off. That wasn’t you, was it? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/48 "2010-08-04T19:42:29Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I only talk dirty to myself and I love it. Oh yeah, baby. Go fuck myself. Do I like that, baby? Do I like it when I do that to me? I am such a dirty slut. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/49 "2010-08-04T19:49:24Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > That reminds me of a story. A few years ago, one of my friends heard, coming from her neighbor’s house, the sounds of smacking and verbal abuse. She called the police, Years ago I was lying in bed with my then-GF, and we heard the sounds of the woman next door screaming and moaning. GF got distressed and wondered if she was getting beaten up. She thought maybe we should call the police or at least knock on her door. I suggested that it didn’t sound like she was in pain – quite the opposite, in fact – and that she might prefer some privacy. “But it sounds like she’s getting stabbed!” Well, yeah, in a way. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/50 "2010-08-04T20:35:34Z")
Love it. Good sex is all about feeling really comfortable and uninhibited. Nothing kills the mood like someone who gets offended/embarrassed/annoyed by something you do or say during sex thus forcing it into a more inhibited experience. I don’t want to walk on eggshells with a partner because I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting judged harshly for it while I’m in the middle of fucking her brains out. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/51 "2010-08-04T20:58:53Z")
Never really tried it in practice, but I can think of fewer things unsexier in porn than some chick hamming it up with stock “dirty talk” phrases… particularly when delivered in that execrable mallrat accent. “Yah! Yah! Ew yah! FECK me!” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/52 "2010-08-04T21:22:53Z")
It really is an art. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/53 "2010-08-04T22:35:22Z")
I LOATHE dirty talk. Mig loves it though so we kinda sorta compromise. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/54 "2010-08-04T23:32:14Z")
Re: all this “you’re a dirty slut” business – I hate this kind of thing. Aren’t we _both_ enjoying what’s going on? But _I’m_ the dirty slut for some reason. While you’re…what? Just a guy, apparently. That’s bullshit. Either both of us are dirty sluts or none of us is, and I’m choosing the latter. But I have a big problem with gendered insults in general, so they’re not anything I want to hear during what is otherwise a happy fun time. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/55 "2010-08-05T03:34:08Z")
Hate it. At best it would make me laugh (I say “would” because my spouse doesn’t do it), and at worst I’d be disgusted. And it’s a good thing I’m married to a guy who doesn’t like it either, because I couldn’t force myself to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/56 "2010-08-05T08:56:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I like it until it gets cheesy. > > Edit: Also, see above. And another thing, while a certain amount of male dominance is a huge turn-on, please remember this is real life, and not internet porn. Do not slap me in the face with your dick. Thanks. Sorry. When I have a hard on, I should look over my shoulder before I turn round fast. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/57 "2010-08-05T13:50:06Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > Re: all this “you’re a dirty slut” business – I hate this kind of thing. Aren’t we _both_ enjoying what’s going on? But _I’m_ the dirty slut for some reason. While you’re…what? Just a guy, apparently. That’s bullshit. Either both of us are dirty sluts or none of us is, and I’m choosing the latter. > > But I have a big problem with gendered insults in general, so they’re not anything I want to hear during what is otherwise a happy fun time. Then how about the gender non-specific “you’re a dirty fucktoy”? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/58 "2010-08-05T14:08:54Z")
See, now that just suggests something that needs to be sanitized. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/59 "2010-08-05T14:10:14Z")
Sex in that bedroom sounds very respectful and polite. “We both derive equal, mutual gratification from this experience.” ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/60 "2010-08-05T14:13:57Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Sex in that bedroom sounds very respectful and polite. “We both derive equal, mutual gratification from this experience.” Now _that’s_ hot. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080.md?page=4)