# Dirty talk: Do you like it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080 "2010-08-04T00:14:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/61 "2010-08-05T14:16:24Z")
If the girl is into it & can pull off the illusion, it can be hot. If its just lack-luster words that are spoken with as much desire as Cindy Crawford performing Shakespeare, please stop. There are less painful forms of birth control. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/62 "2010-08-05T14:19:38Z")
Can we distinguish between dirty talk and abusive talk? It leaves me cold to call someone a “slut” or a “whore” simply for doing what I like for her to do, but I can be plenty dirty (filthy, heaped in refuse) in my language, using words I would not ordinarily speak in public but which praise the flexibility, beauty, inventiveness etc. of my lover in colorful terms–that’s hot, but calling her abusive, derogatory names really turns me off. ---
**Author:** ![rayman5321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/63 "2010-08-05T14:35:33Z")
No ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/64 "2010-08-05T14:54:09Z")
If the dirty talk is relavant and limited, it’s great. Too much is a distraction, and too silly is distracting as well. I prefer instructions/requests like “Don’t stop” or “Oh yeah, right there” to “Pound my hot tight cunt, you manly stud!” ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/65 "2010-08-05T15:02:23Z")
I like talking dirty. Sometimes it’s just “Oh that feels so good just like that”, sometimes it’s “Please please please [do this]”, sometimes it’s “harder faster harder faster oh yes fuck me fuck me fuck me.” But it’s all spontaneous. And my husband seems to like it, so I’ll keep it up. But nothing degrading … I’m not a slut or a whore or dirty or nasty. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/66 "2010-08-05T15:05:19Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Can we distinguish between dirty talk and abusive talk? It leaves me cold to call someone a “slut” or a “whore” simply for doing what I like for her to do, but I can be plenty dirty (filthy, heaped in refuse) in my language, using words I would not ordinarily speak in public but which praise the flexibility, beauty, inventiveness etc. of my lover in colorful terms–that’s hot, but calling her abusive, derogatory names really turns me off. Basically, this. I’m not a “fucktoy” any more than you are and don’t want to be called such. Look, if you like calling your partners abusive names and they enjoy it, more power to you. Just don’t have sex with me and we’ll both be happy. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/67 "2010-08-05T15:26:26Z")
There is an entire vocabulary that I first encountered when being spoken by little boys who were very proud of how filthy they could sound. 85% of what they talked about was bathroom excretory functions but it included the terms for body parts involved in both those processes and sexual activities, and it did also include the verb form for sex. I don’t think in those terms when I think of such things, I don’t use those words to actually refer to sex or sexual parts. I’m no prude, it’s just that the words are all imbued with a sort of sewage of disgust and anger and contempt that has no part in any liaison I want to be a part of. I suppose it’s my own personal version of the sentiment that made injudicious deployment of the word “cunt” an issue on this board. It’s not denotation it’s connotation. Me, I feel that way about “fuck”. It’s an angry hurtful word, a word with all the warmth and charm of a spilled barf pail. Nor am I much inclined to talk about a partner’s “cunt” if she wouldn’t appreciate a friendly “hey cunt” greeting; and neither “cock” nor “dick” rings with the tones of gentle teasing or fondness either. If I want to read verbal descriptions that can get me hot, I’ll find one of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander books. “oh baby \ my \” just doesn’t do it for me under any circumstanes or with any vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/68 "2010-08-05T17:44:42Z")
My wife once, in the heat of passion, told me that I was being nasty and I assumed she was talking dirty. It was kind of hot for me. Later I found out that she meant I was being unsanitary, so “dirty talk” is broken for me now. Hmmmm, she is a fan of Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander books. I have some reading to do. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/69 "2010-08-05T18:56:34Z")
I am crap at talking dirty, but I don’t mind being dirtily talked to. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/70 "2010-08-05T19:43:19Z")
So wait a minute–you all consider saying “that feels good” or “ooh, right there” dirty talk? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/71 "2010-08-05T19:47:10Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > So wait a minute–you all consider saying “that feels good” or “ooh, right there” dirty talk? That’s the mildest form of it. Specifying what “that” is may not be necessary, but it adds a little heat. Using vulgar terminology for what “that” is, or where exactly your “right there” is adds much to the hotness. But from a shy woman, I’d appreciate even “that feels good,” yeah. From you, of course, I’d expect a lot of extremely vulgar, and explicit, nouns and verbs, but then I know how not-shy you are. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/72 "2010-08-05T19:50:27Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I am crap This is the sort of self-hating dirty talk that I don’t care for. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/73 "2010-08-05T20:03:23Z")
I really enjoy it, but I didn’t always. I guess I just had to find the right partner, and when I did it became really, really fun. I like to hear it and I like to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/74 "2010-08-05T20:14:05Z")
I’m not against it in theory, but I’ve never been any good at it myself and never had sex with anyone who was, either. Requires too much thinking for me. When I’m having sex, I don’t need to be worrying about the narrative. 😃 If someone I was having sex with liked it and was good at it, I’d go with it, sure. I have no problems with dom/sub type talk. If somone wanted to call me, or themselves, a filthy whore or beast, I’d not object. Could be hot, I think - again, if done well. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/75 "2010-08-05T20:16:15Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > I really enjoy it, but I didn’t always. > > I guess I just had to find the right partner, and when I did it became really, really fun. > > I like to hear it and I like to say it. Okay, nicely put - that about sums it up for me, too. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/76 "2010-08-05T20:17:49Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > I really enjoy it, but I didn’t always. > > I guess I just had to find the right partner, and when I did it became really, really fun. Does \*\*Demo \*\*know about him? I keed … I keed … ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/77 "2010-08-05T22:01:59Z")
_looks around and whistles nonchalantly_ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/78 "2010-08-05T22:06:54Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > > [@LouisB](#): > > > > I only talk dirty to myself and I love it. > > That reminds me of a story. A few years ago, one of my friends heard, coming from her neighbor’s house, the sounds of smacking and verbal abuse. She called the police, who came and also heard what was going on, and entered the neighbor’s house, expecting to find someone getting their ass kicked. It was a man, smacking his own thigh, verbally abusing himself, and whacking off. > > That wasn’t you, was it? 😛 Busted. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/79 "2010-08-05T22:50:31Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > > [@psycat90](#): > > > > I really enjoy it, but I didn’t always. > > > > I guess I just had to find the right partner, and when I did it became really, really fun. > > Does \*\*Demo \*\*know about him? > > I keed … I keed … Sure, we’ve met on numerous occasions. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080/80 "2010-08-05T22:57:06Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I suppose it’s my own personal version of the sentiment that made injudicious deployment of the word “cunt” an issue on this board. It’s not denotation it’s connotation. Me, I feel that way about “fuck”. It’s an angry hurtful word, a word with all the warmth and charm of a spilled barf pail. Nor am I much inclined to talk about a partner’s “cunt” if she wouldn’t appreciate a friendly “hey cunt” greeting; and neither “cock” nor “dick” rings with the tones of gentle teasing or fondness either. Huh. Guess I’ll have to tell my girlfriend the next time she says “Fuck me” that she’s being angry and hurtful. Apparently, she couldn’t be enjoying it or be engaged in any kind of meaningful 11-year relationship with me or anything if she uses such language. Or there’s always the possibility that she’s just not that uptight about it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirty-talk-do-you-like-it/549080.md?page=5)