# Dirtying up an Olympic Sport **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2018, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329 "2018-02-22T09:18:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/1 "2018-02-22T09:18:32Z")
In [This post](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20791935&postcount=14) **jasg** quotes an article saying that “Pole Sports” (Previously Pole Dancing) is on it’s way to becoming an Olympic sport. This cleaning up of bad, dirty, adult fun is an outrage and we, as a society, have a responsibility to restore the balance by dirtying up an established Olympic sport for use in strip clubs, stag/hen parties and so on. So I am soliciting suggestions. Space & expense are obviously issues…fitting a dirty marathon or curling rink into a strip club is going to be difficult but we can assume that, given sufficient sexiness, the market will sort that sort of thing out. My suggestion is the Sexy Shot Putt…you’d probably use a lighter shot, maybe balance it on your butt for a while, do some contact juggling, fondle the ball, then hoy it into a paddling pool filled with baby oil at the end of the song. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/2 "2018-02-22T12:59:24Z")
Aren’t the figure skating events already pretty much there? I mean the women spin around with their legs splayed open, sometimes holding a leg up behind their head. I’m guessing they have to be pretty careful about putting their costume on to make sure they don’t inadvertently leave anything uncovered. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/3 "2018-02-22T16:57:07Z")
> [@Delicious](#): > > My suggestion is the Sexy Shot Putt…you’d probably use a lighter shot, maybe balance it on your butt for a while, do some contact juggling, fondle the ball, then hoy it into a paddling pool filled with baby oil at the end of the song. Combine gymnastic vaulting and pole vaulting with having them land on a ------------------ pole? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/4 "2018-02-22T17:24:55Z")
Oh, the things that happen in a 4-man bobsleigh… ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/5 "2018-02-22T17:26:27Z")
Women’s Sybian pommel horse? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/6 "2018-02-22T17:31:38Z")
Naked Track & Field, the way the Greeks originally did them. Except not for hurdles. (Ouch!) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/7 "2018-02-22T17:47:11Z")
New and exciting uses for a curling broom? ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/8 "2018-02-22T18:22:26Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Aren’t the figure skating events already pretty much there? I mean the women spin around with their legs splayed open, sometimes holding a leg up behind their head. I’m guessing they have to be pretty careful about putting their costume on to make sure they don’t inadvertently leave anything uncovered. Indeed. More than that, making sure they don’t [inadvertently uncover anything that was previously covered.](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetorch/2018/02/19/587117592/french-olympic-ice-skater-has-nightmare-wardrobe-malfunction) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/9 "2018-02-22T18:30:03Z")
Bikini clad ski Bunny races. I could wrestling turning into something for women and mud. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/10 "2018-02-22T19:05:59Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Oh, the things that happen in a 4-man bobsleigh… I was thinking you could combine luge and skeleton in some sort of 69 configuration… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/11 "2018-02-22T19:19:42Z")
Foxy boxing. Bottomless bicycle racing. Naked mixed pairs oil wrestling. Baloney equestrian. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/12 "2018-02-22T19:32:08Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I was thinking you could combine luge and skeleton in some sort of 69 configuration… There is already [doubles luge](https://www.cbssports.com/olympics/news/winter-olympics-doubles-luge-is-raising-a-lot-of-questions-and-we-have-answers/). Make it mixed-gender and it’s pretty much there. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/13 "2018-02-22T20:46:35Z")
We could dirty 2 sports at once and have the “javelin put”. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/14 "2018-02-22T21:16:25Z")
How much filthier do we need to make watersports? ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/15 "2018-02-22T22:37:06Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > There is already [doubles luge](https://www.cbssports.com/olympics/news/winter-olympics-doubles-luge-is-raising-a-lot-of-questions-and-we-have-answers/). Make it mixed-gender and it’s pretty much there. Raise the degree of difficulty by requiring the male finish the run fully erect. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/16 "2018-02-22T22:46:50Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > There is already [doubles luge](https://www.cbssports.com/olympics/news/winter-olympics-doubles-luge-is-raising-a-lot-of-questions-and-we-have-answers/). Make it mixed-gender and it’s pretty much there. There we go - doubles nude skeleton (if you are into that sorta thing) or reverse cowgirl doubles luge! I agree with the comment about figure skating/ice dancing - it would not take much to make that filthy. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/17 "2018-02-22T22:53:05Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I was thinking you could combine luge and skeleton in some sort of 69 configuration… We reversed positions so there was no funny business. Reversed positions? Yeah, you know, head to toe. So what, your genitals are still lined up. ---
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/18 "2018-02-22T22:53:06Z")
Maybe a no-hands relay race ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/19 "2018-02-23T03:25:58Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I was thinking you could combine luge and skeleton in some sort of 69 configuration… How about spooning side by side? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2018, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dirtying-up-an-olympic-sport/809329/20 "2018-02-23T03:56:55Z")
A couple of female friends and I were talking a few years back. One had been in a long term relationship with a woman, recently broke up, and was going on a date with a guy for the first time in more than five years. She was saying she was nervous she wouldn’t remember how to “be with a guy.” The other friend reassured her. “You’ll be fine,” she said. “It’s like riding a bike…but with the seat missing.” This thread reminded me of that story and I can’t help but think this could be a dirty Olympic sport: Women’s Seatless Biking.