# Disciplining family members **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626 "2004-04-12T17:18:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/21 "2004-04-13T15:30:15Z")
whoops, sorry for the dupe ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/22 "2004-04-13T15:30:25Z")
You didn’t say the baby even reacted to the ‘spanking’. It’s not like a baby is going to sit there and take shit from anyone without making a fuss, so if it didn’t react, I’d say you’re completely overreacting and mistaking an affectionite ‘hey, you’ pat for some kind of freakish discipline tactic. Correct me if I’m wrong, of course. Did your baby cry, whine, or scream bloody murder? From your post it appears it was utterly unconcerned. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/23 "2004-04-13T15:34:07Z")
> [@Khiadra](#): > > You didn’t say the baby even reacted to the ‘spanking’. She did in a later post: [QUOTE=MynnIt was a spank, but not a wollop. And not a friendly baby pat on the butt … he cried, probably mostly out of confusion. But flesh hitting flesh, a smack. When DC has bounced or burped him, DC has patted the baby on the butt many times.[/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/24 "2004-04-13T15:41:20Z")
It doesn’t even matter if the baby reacted or not - if a child’s parent expressly says “Don’t do that”, then that’s all there is to it. It makes no difference if it was a light tap, a firm smack, or a crosseyed glance with fingers in the nose, parent says don’t, you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/25 "2004-04-13T15:43:22Z")
Oops, my bad! It’s 1am and I’ll admit to skimming. I got to the bit where she complained about the family member putting the baby in a crib while babysitting, rolled my eyes, and assumed mommy was just being a control freak. Smacking a baby, though, is definitely bad news and not acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/26 "2004-04-13T15:48:06Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > It doesn’t even matter if the baby reacted or not - if a child’s parent expressly says “Don’t do that”, then that’s all there is to it. It makes no difference if it was a light tap, a firm smack, or a crosseyed glance with fingers in the nose, parent says don’t, you don’t. I sorta kinda agree with you there, but on the other hand it’s not a bright idea to piss your family off when they’re doing you a favour - particularly if it’s over something trivial which simply comes down to a difference in parenting style. There may come a day when you’re desperate for baby sitting and nobody will help because you’ve got them all off-side over something you don’t even care about anymore. (happened to a friend of mine who was a prima donna mother with her first child…by the time number 3 came along she was not only more relaxed, but desperate for some occasional babysitting- but the bridges were already burned) However, that was when my sleep-deprived reading interpreted the incident as a ‘pat’. Knowing it was a genuine spank \*\*completely \*\* changes the situation. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626/27 "2004-04-13T16:09:14Z")
> [@Khiadra](#): > > Oops, my bad! > > It’s 1am and I’ll admit to skimming. I got to the bit where she complained about the family member putting the baby in a crib while babysitting, rolled my eyes, and assumed mommy was just being a control freak. That’s a whole other issue in itself: DC hates co-sleeping and I didn’t ask DC to do that … I simply brought and asked the kid be put to sleep in his bassinette (which DC hates and was very vocally glad to hear I stopped using it when he grew too mobile for it): [http://www.ifihadahammock.com/images/wolfie002.jpg](http://www.ifihadahammock.com/images/wolfie002.jpg) [http://www.ifihadahammock.com/images/wolfie001.jpg](http://www.ifihadahammock.com/images/wolfie001.jpg) DC put the kid down in the crib for a nap (there were two at DC’s house), left the kid in there crying, turned the monitor down so they couldn’t hear the crying, and left him in there to cry himself to sleep for a nap. Tried it again at bed time, but his crying woke up the other kids, who were sharing the other crib … not that they would have slept anyway, given such unfettered access to annoy the hell out of each other (toddler twins). When I got back after our date (about two hours after the kids all went to bed), I was told that “he napped in the crib just fine, but is in his hammock/bassinette now”. My SIL (who was there at the time, watching her kids (the twins)) filled me in on the details later. He only cried about 5 min the first time (she was about to go in to comfort him when he corked off) and she didn’t mention how long it was before DC gave up on trying to crib sleep him for the night. The idea, I expect, knowing DC, was to “prove” to me that my bassinette/hammock was unecessary since the crib worked just fine, I believe … DC had already spent many hours trying to convince me how dangerous it is/was. (which it’s not until the kid is old enough to escape … some sleep in the thing for years, my kid is just adventurous). Get some sleep, K. 🙂 And thanks for your input, as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disciplining-family-members/239626.md?page=1)