# Discussion: How to compete in The Amazing Race **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174 "2006-12-14T20:23:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/21 "2006-12-15T17:31:44Z")
My husband watched a season and was completely convinced he wanted to go on the show. This is a man who gets freaked out by missing an exit on the freeway and who refuses to drive in traffic. Yeah, honey, I can see that working out. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/22 "2006-12-15T18:11:49Z")
[QUOTE=BiblioCat] I used to think I wanted to go on _TAR_ with **rockle** , because she’d be a lot of fun and would make me a sparkly BeDazzled shirt, but now I pick **ScubaBen** because he knows all the rules and would _kick ass_. Hey, I can drive a stick _and_ read a map and I’m willing to do the scary stuff (I think he is, too) and I’ll eat any weird food that isn’t kosher. Plus, if we went up against **jayjay** and **supervenusfreak** in footrace, we’d win. 😉 [/QUOTE] You shut your dirty mouth. I am the only partner you may have. What do you need to hang around with those Amish boys fer? Or Ben? He’s too reasonable. Rockle will cut you if you even lookit Phil. I will let it slide, for I know where you live. [QUOTE=rockle] [ol] [li]Do. Not. Ever. Touch. Phil. _ **EVER!** _ Or a whole bunch of us out here will _cut_ you.[/li][/ol] [/QUOTE] See, I rarely notice names unless something catches my eye. The above said _ **ROCKLE** _. I didn’t need to look. I just hit ‘reply’ and lo and behold… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/23 "2006-12-15T19:51:10Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] You shut your dirty mouth. I am the only partner you may have. What do you need to hang around with those Amish boys fer? Or Ben? He’s too reasonable. Rockle will cut you if you even lookit Phil. I will let it slide, for I know where you live. [/QUOTE] This is too good – we haven’t even made it on the show yet, and already we’re bickering for the audience! So let’s add another tip: Play up the drama, and give the audience a reason to remember you. If you survive the first episode, that is. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/24 "2006-12-15T20:23:52Z")
[QUOTE=Scuba\_Ben] **BiblioCat** , you’ve got a deal. I also drive stick and can navigate with a map, and I can do my share of the scary stuff – but please Og, nothing involving great heights! [/QUOTE] I can do great heights. I rode on the Sling Shot ride in Ocean City (like a reverse bungee jump), I climbed a 105-foot aerial ladder in Firefighter 1 class, and climbed to the fourth floor on an extention ladder and went in a window (in full gear with an air bottle on my back - 50 extra pounds). Scared of heights? Not me! ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/25 "2006-12-15T22:39:41Z")
[QUOTE=Draelin] I think we’d do okay, except for the part where we get to the mat and try to get Phil to say “Chinchilla”. [/quote] Oh lord, I can totally hear Phil in my head saying that. “Chin-chillaaah” with that delightful flat A of his. > [@Draelin](#): > > I wonder what the Dopers would call us when the show aired. Team Short Girls would probably be the first try, but **Otto** would almost certainly come up with something better by the second leg. Team Dazzle comes to mind. But just remember you’re not allowed to try to nickname your own team. That hasn’t worked for anyone after Team Guido. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/26 "2006-12-15T22:51:14Z")
And especially didn’t work for “Mojo”… ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/27 "2006-12-15T22:55:17Z")
Or the disastrously un-karmic “six-pack.” ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/28 "2006-12-16T07:37:45Z")
Fah. Forget all those wussy rules. There is One Rule: learn the names and preferred sacrifices of every deity and then make offerings to all of them in asking that you get only cabs with full tanks and sound tires driven by cabbies who know their entire countries by heart. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/29 "2006-12-16T13:59:36Z")
God does not care who wins reality TV shows. God Is In The Tub. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/30 "2006-12-16T14:04:35Z")
It doesn’t stop the oh-so-pious teams from thinking God cares who wins. “Dear God, please help us win this leg. Oh, and while you’re at it, please smite the Hell out of those other teams. Thanks.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/31 "2006-12-16T15:25:02Z")
[QUOTE=BiblioCat] It doesn’t stop the oh-so-pious teams from thinking God cares who wins. “Dear God, please help us win this leg. Oh, and while you’re at it, please smite the Hell out of those other teams. Thanks.” 😛 [/QUOTE] I promise, we will not be a pious team. We will be the salty old bitches. They’ve never had a team of salty old bitches who swear like wounded pirates, and I think now is the time. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/32 "2006-12-16T16:56:38Z")
Well, _we_ certainly wouldn’t be calling God out of the bath. _Og_, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/33 "2006-12-16T19:11:46Z")
Jayjay, you guys can go on the angle of being the only gay athiestic Amish. That’d be awesome. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/34 "2006-12-16T22:19:30Z")
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth] I We will be the salty old bitches. They’ve never had a team of salty old bitches who swear like wounded pirates, and I think now is the time. [/QUOTE] Yeah, we’d be a great team. Every other goddamn word would have to be fucking bleeped out. 😃 And praying for the other teams to be smited would be great TV. At least, I think it would be great TV. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2006, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/35 "2006-12-16T22:26:56Z")
I add: Stack of $1 bills Ziplock baggie into which you put the clue and/or map _before_ you jump into the water ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/36 "2006-12-17T04:43:39Z")
Nah, our hook would be the 500 pounds we’d collectively lost. I’m not really Amish (I’m originally from Hillrat Country in west-central PA) and he’s not an atheist, so that’s out. And the whole gay thing is old on TAR, anyway. Has there been a season that _didn’t_ have at least one gay Racer? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/37 "2006-12-17T14:39:33Z")
Season 5, Season 6 and The Family Edition had no known gay Racers. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/38 "2006-12-17T16:25:52Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Season 5, Season 6 and The Family Edition had no known gay Racers. [/QUOTE] Oh, please! Rolly Weaver is going to be arrested in a park restroom someday in the next 10 years for stall-crawling, I’m pretty sure, even if only as a rebellion against his cultleader…er, mother. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/39 "2006-12-17T16:51:54Z")
I did say no _known_ gay Racers. Although, honestly, I almost made a comment nearly identical to yours about Rolly. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2006, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174/40 "2006-12-17T19:34:37Z")
[QUOTE=Shoshana] Stack of $1 bills Ziplock baggie into which you put the clue and/or map _before_ you jump into the water [/QUOTE] The stack of $1s is good – but you’re limited to cash provided by (or earned during) the race. If you can save up several singles, you’re good. A supply of Ziplock baggies is a very good idea. I heartily endorse this product or service. **BilbioCat** : You went on the Sling Shot?! I’m impressed! I’ve got the Traveler’s Prayer handy. It says plenty about “Give us a good trip.” I’d have to work up some text for “And please delay all the other teams.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-how-to-compete-in-the-amazing-race/384174.md?page=3)