# Discussion thread for the "Polls only" thread (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2022, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380 "2022-09-28T11:33:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/401 "2022-11-19T18:01:24Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > > > And how do you expect them to show up, if they don’t know where to show up? > > They have a street and a house number. So they do know where to show up? Or is “they” not the people who’ve been invited? I’m confused. > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > someone I know has made a secret tearoom in a sort of Victorian/Edwardian/fantasy/Alice in Wonderland style. She went to extreme lengths with period furniture, decorations, antique cups and spoons, a library of books and board games, music, even smells and her real cat. The coolest thing is that it is in a completely anonymous house in a slightly forlorn suburb, so the effect of ringing and going through some literal wardrobe doors and seeing this completely different world there is really cool and I think my friends would really dig it. Telling them beforehand would really diminish the effect. Oh, I think I see. The invited people have been told where it is; they just haven’t been told what’s inside the building, or what type of party to expect. – looking back at the polls page, I see what the poll actually says is “I have not told you anything about what type of place the venue is”; which is different from not telling where it is. – while I agree that people should check, instead of just assuming, that the whole family’s invited (and I voted accordingly, because that’s what I would have done): I think it’s also wise for the inviter to make it clear in the invitation, because people do often make assumptions. And I expect there are some social circles in which it is assumed the whole family’s invited unless the invitation clearly states otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/402 "2022-11-19T18:04:21Z")
Yes, I’d make it clear on the invitation. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/403 "2022-11-19T18:16:30Z")
Yes, exactly, the guests have the address and a time, but nothing else. As for making in clear on the invite, well, I can totally see why one might want to do that in order to avoid just this kind of confusion. But, to be honest, I personally really don’t like writing something like “this invite is for you and only you and your partner is NOT invited and your kid isn’t either”, it just sounds kinda mean, you know, even if I sort of am. I think prefer dealing with this situation as it is and suck it up rather than be inhospitable. I am fond of the kid and I also know the mother is not the type of parent who lets her child run around and wreck things. The fact that I kind of preferred an adult party, well I can deal with it - they are most excellent friends. Worst case scenario is that kid is very bored and so they all have to leave, but I guess with a young child, social time is not infinite in any case. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/404 "2022-11-19T18:30:43Z")
Wurst ter sure Raised 25 years in Chicago burbs then 35 years in California ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/405 "2022-11-19T19:06:57Z")
Who or what is the “Starkey” that @Karen_Lingel wants us to listen to in the latest poll? Richard Starkey? Fine, but I’m confused why I’d specifically be listening to Ringo if I’m stuck home with Covid. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/406 "2022-11-19T19:28:15Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Who or what is the “Starkey” I was coming here to post “Who’s Starkey?” > [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > I personally really don’t like writing something like “this invite is for you and only you and your partner is NOT invited and your kid isn’t either”, [. . .] The fact that I kind of preferred an adult party, I don’t think “adults only please” on an invitation is rude. Inviting an adult who’s in a partnership to a social event while excluding the partner is kinda rude in most situations. A specifically ‘this group of people’ – ‘all my sisters’, ‘all of us in this gaming group’ and such – is another matter; but it’s a problem with the kind of thing you’re setting up that you can’t specify ‘the group of my friends who are also into X’ without saying what X is. You could say that ‘space is limited, so please just you’, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/407 "2022-11-19T19:31:26Z")
> **[Cal Play-By-Play Man Joe Starkey on his Final Big Game: 'I’m an Irishman and...](https://www.si.com/college/cal/news/starkey-final-big-game)** > > After 48 years, the voice of the Bears will call it a career after this season. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/408 "2022-11-19T19:57:23Z")
> I don’t think “adults only please” on an invitation is rude. I guess not, but they caught me off guard here. It really hadn’t occurred to me that they would understand it that way,. That’s on me and it was the reason I was curious enough to set up the poll to see if that is a common expectation. > Inviting an adult who’s in a partnership to a social event while excluding the partner is kinda rude in most situations. I agree, and I wouldn’t do it. However, personally I wouldn’t have assumed I was included if some invited my (hypothetical) partner and I kind of vaguely annoyed that couples see themselves as one entity. : ) But, as stated, I’d rather compromise slightly on my intended guest list, rather than be ill-mannered and explicitly exclude partners. 🙂 It’s not a big deal at all, it’s not as if any of the partners are horrid or anything. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/409 "2022-11-19T23:12:01Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I picked the Aztecs because _Aztec_, by Gary Jennings, is one of my favorite historic novels. I’m reading the ‘Artillerymen’ series by Taylor Anderson (prequels to the ‘Destroyermen’ series) – maybe I should change my answer to “Maya”. 😃 Jeans: I’ve worn non-denim trousers maybe five times in the last 15+ years. Of course they’re comfortable – if they weren’t, I wouldn’t wear them so often. “I invite _you_ to an afternoon birthday party” – no mention of anyone else, so I assume it’s for me only, but I would ask if wife and kid were included in the invite. High holiday – probably just sit at home and read, that being what I normally do for Independence Day. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/410 "2022-11-19T23:20:26Z")
Regarding the jeans poll: I don’t wear them often because I can’t find ones that fit my fat body that isn’t overloaded with stretch fabric. The problem with stretch is that you sit and they stretch to accommodate your middle spread. When you stand up again, they don’t shrink back to their proper size and you spend all your standing time pulling them up again. But I used to love wearing jeans and if my weight loss continues, I’ll be back into them again. Regarding the invite: Ask, always double check if the invite doesn’t specify who is included. Always. Regarding Covid and high holidays. Take advantage of the situation and ask them all to bring something for you, too. Then have a family member drop it off for you. I had no problem asking for food help when I had Covid this summer (it took three weeks before I felt I could go to the store). If you can’t enjoy family, at least you can enjoy the food. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/411 "2022-11-19T23:32:35Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Regarding the jeans poll: I don’t wear them often because I can’t find ones that fit my fat body that isn’t overloaded with stretch fabric. Try the men’s department. Unless, of course, you already are. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/412 "2022-11-19T23:35:40Z")
I’m not, and men’s jeans don’t fit my body. I’ve already tried. But thanks for the effort! ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2022, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/413 "2022-11-19T23:39:25Z")
Neither men’s nor women’s fit me right. They just fit wrong in different fashions. So I generally get the men’s. They’ve got better pockets, and are usually better made; and they come in larger sizes. And you can get a long rise with a relatively short inseam; though maybe not short enough. But if you are shaped like the women’s jeans are, then yeah, the men’s are going to fit you even worse than they fit me. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/414 "2022-11-20T00:16:23Z")
Last time I tried men’s jeans, I could fit a small cat between my back waist and the waistband! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/415 "2022-11-20T03:17:39Z")
I guess there’s more than one way to dress a cat. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/416 "2022-11-20T03:47:47Z")
A bit disappointed that the Buddhist Maya wasn’t an option, nor was U2 for the Gloria song poll. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/417 "2022-11-20T12:04:56Z")
To me, Cat-ARE and Ka-TAR are the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/418 "2022-11-20T12:31:48Z")
I used to read it Ka-TAR, but I’ve heard people say CUT-er on the radio enough that i now think that must be the correct pronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/419 "2022-11-20T12:32:52Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > To me, Cat-ARE and Ka-TAR are the same thing. I think that’s different in the first vowel. I’d it “a” as in cat or as in father? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2022, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380/420 "2022-11-20T12:56:18Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I was coming here to post “Who’s Starkey?” Huch’s partner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussion-thread-for-the-polls-only-thread-part-1/972380.md?page=22)