# Discussions about sex, where to draw the line? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 9, 2025, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175 "2025-05-09T21:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MW_Degen_Gamblr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/1 "2025-05-09T21:38:44Z")
Hello, Engineer Comp Geek directed me to this forum. I was told to avoid “penthouse talk”. I thought I was doing so with my posts. I’ve been in spaces such as fraternities, blue collar jobs, and of course poker tables. I think anything I posted has been light years away from some of the things I’ve heard in those spaces. I made a masturbation joke and mentioned that I didn’t live in my car “because I want to get laid”. I was told that was unacceptable and that is fine with me. But that raises a question? Where should we draw the line in discussions about sex? What is considered as “penthouse” will vary from person to person. Example, I’m thinking about starting a new thread about the many ways modern society has become increasingly predatory, especially with technology. In that thread I want to briefly talk about pornography. No graphic details. I just want to discuss the hidden risks of pornography in the 2020s vs “back in the day”. Is that acceptable? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/2 "2025-05-09T21:40:57Z")
Do you want to discuss anecdotes, or actual studies? ---
**Author:** ![MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MW_Degen_Gamblr)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/3 "2025-05-09T21:42:33Z")
Either! But if the first is not allowed, i’m fine with just the latter. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/4 "2025-05-09T21:43:27Z")
Anecdotes is where you’re very likely to run into trouble. Because this is not Penthouse Forums as @engineer_comp_geek told you. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/5 "2025-05-10T00:52:34Z")
> [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](#): > > Example, I’m thinking about starting a new thread about the many ways modern society has become increasingly predatory, especially with technology. In that thread I want to briefly talk about pornography. So in other words, the pron talk would actually be appropriate to the thread topic? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/6 "2025-05-10T01:01:27Z")
> [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](#): > > “because I want to get laid”. You probably wouldn’t have been modded for “I want to get laid,” but that it isn’t what you said. You were more crude, and the fact that you spelled the word using dollar signs and shit means you knew, or at least suspected, that it wasn’t appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/7 "2025-05-10T01:02:47Z")
How about a link to whatever set this off? It would be appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/8 "2025-05-10T01:03:37Z")
[Mod note.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/friday-night-2-000-at-the-casino/1017555/166) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/9 "2025-05-10T01:08:19Z")
Thank you. Much appreciated. * * * Holy crap, lucky to only get a modnote for that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2025, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/10 "2025-05-12T20:12:01Z")
I wondered what the hidden risks of accessing new porn to old porn are, whether affected psychologically or maybe exposure to identity crimes of some type. There are probably some stats to cite in any of these fields. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2025, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/11 "2025-05-12T20:51:25Z")
> [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](#): > > In that thread I want to briefly talk about pornography. No graphic details. I just want to discuss the hidden risks of pornography in the 2020s vs “back in the day”. Is that acceptable? If you were at a white-collar conference with a diverse population of participants, what would you think would be appropriate as a discussion topic and method during a break or at supper? If I was in that scenario I sure as hell wouldn’t be talking as you wrote (when you got your warning) to a typical work team which included my female project manager and a couple female subject matter experts, as well as male counterparts. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2025, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/12 "2025-05-12T21:02:55Z")
Part of the problem was bringing it up in an unrelated thread, IMO. You’d have more latitude in a sex thread that people could choose to abound. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2025, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/13 "2025-05-12T21:17:41Z")
My personal rule: If you can’t say it to your Granny you probably shouldn’t say it outloud. (Some Granny’s excepted) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2025, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/14 "2025-06-02T23:14:07Z")
Oh boy. You haven’t met my Grannie. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/15 "2025-06-03T00:28:06Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > My personal rule: If you can’t say it to your Granny you probably shouldn’t say it outloud. So your entire life should be shaped around what some (from context) conservative, judgemental old biddy Karen would think of it? ---
**Author:** ![MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MW_Degen_Gamblr)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/16 "2025-06-03T03:10:31Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Oh boy. You haven’t met my Grannie. Right. It was my _grandma_ who taught me bad words! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/17 "2025-06-03T03:17:52Z")
Hey, don’t diss my Granny like that! She was the most liberal minded person I knew, at the time. But there are words and phrases or details I wouldn’t tell her, or anyone about. Sometimes your personal details aren’t necessary to blurt out in public. Why people have to brag on these things and tell everyone is insanity, in my mind. And the same people freak out if you ask for their phone number. But, golly if you wanna hear about the size dildo her boyfriend bought her, she’s all too willing to say. Might even show it to you. Just insane. (Granny told a few good dirty jokes, just sayin’) ---
**Author:** ![MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MW_Degen_Gamblr)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/18 "2025-06-03T03:42:50Z")
hahahaha that was random! The thing is that phone numbers are considered as personal/private information that can be abused. It’s like your address or social security number. If people use that info in inappropriate ways someone can be harmed. But knowing about someone’s sex life…I mean what can people do with that information? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/19 "2025-06-03T07:25:39Z")
I can think of lots of things folks can do with your sexual info. Some might be pleasant or fun. Others, not so much. I also prefer people not discussing their bowel habits. Doesn’t mean I won’t laugh at a good fart, poop, or butt joke. I do have boys around here. Probably heard them all. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/20 "2025-06-03T10:33:02Z")
I’ve noticed that some male posters on this site still assume that the other posters are all male, and that they enjoy or at least accept raunch as part of normal discourse. They aren’t and they don’t. Leaving grannies out of it, I think it’s not a bad idea when posting about sex (or gender for that matter) to remember that your readers include straight women and LBGTQ of various persuasions. For example you may be surprised that many people who aren’t you weirdly don’t find masturbation intrinsically amusing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175.md?page=2)