# Discussions about sex, where to draw the line? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 9, 2025, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175 "2025-05-09T21:38:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/81 "2025-06-06T14:45:46Z")
I just read the whole thread. I’ve been here 21 years. So not quite the very very beginning, but near to it. For sure the tenor of the place has changed. And largely for the better. Something nobody else has mentioned: Not only has the world changed, and become more conscious of casual slurs aimed at [whoever], but we’re all 20 years older than we were. The kinds of things I’d say and do in my 20s, 40s, and now 60s are different. Just due to changes in me, completely ignoring insofar as possible, the changes in the society I’m embedded in. If indeed MAGA succeeds in reintroducing 1960s-1990s era casual racism and misogyny into normal daily public discourse, it’s real likely that 60-something me won’t take to that in the same way 20-something me did 40 years ago. We all grew up. The Dope grew up with us. We now have a lot more threads about 401ks than we do about going clubbing. It’s a different kind of fun for a different era of our own lives. I for one would not mind us having a lot more conversation about sex and sex-adjacent topics. At 66 I’m very far from done with that stuff. Of course it’d have to be properly labeled and not be mean-spirited. Although I frankly wonder if those sorts of convos could be had among the current userbase. The male and female approach to e.g. cooking is not so different that we can’t submerge the differing POVs while jointly talking about it. The male and female POVs to sex, and especially recreational sex, however are extremely different. A lot of people seem to be made very uncomfortable learning what the other side is thinking. And if “causing discomfort” is unacceptable behavior by community standards, then we’re done before we begin. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/82 "2025-06-06T16:22:17Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > if “causing discomfort” is unacceptable behavior by community standards, then we’re done before we begin. Or if, in general, we’re too squeamish to have frank, open, and factual discussions of sexual topics then we’re contributing to Ignorance. While there are many factors that feed into Ignorance, in at least some parts, it is created and enforced by a layer of shyness and discomfort around certain topics, like sex. If we’re to shy away from the subject then we can’t share the Diva Cup; share tips on how to most reliably achieve sexual satisfaction for both parties, offer a plain and realistic view of the trade-offs and ramifications of sexual activities to younger posters, etc. Sexual discussions can be adult, fair, reasoned, and educational. As a place that fights against ignorance, it would be nonsensical to say that the topic is off-limits. We have a rule to not be a jerk. You can be a jerk while talking about sex, and you can be a jerk talking about sports, cooking, politics, or any subject. There’s no reason to ban any of those as viable topics of discussion because of that potential. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/83 "2025-06-06T16:25:08Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I for one would not mind us having a lot more conversation about sex and sex-adjacent topics. At 66 I’m very far from done with that stuff. Of course it’d have to be properly labeled and not be mean-spirited. Convos about sex are fine. Injecting crude sex remarks into every conversation is not. Some people can’t seem to understand that distinction. “I like to get laid” might have been unremarked. “I like to get pussy” should. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/84 "2025-06-06T16:36:06Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > You can be a jerk while talking about sex, and you can be a jerk talking about sports, cooking, politics, or any subject. There’s no reason to ban any of those as viable topics of discussion because of that potential. Thankfully we haven’t done that and there’s, to my knowledge, no plans to do so ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/85 "2025-06-06T16:44:28Z")
I don’t think there is. But it merits stating clearly, not having mods ambiguously endorse a post saying that we’re trying to enforce the community experience desired by the elder masses. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/86 "2025-06-06T17:36:40Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > “I like to get laid” might have been unremarked. “I like to get pussy” should. I found the fact that he couldn’t even write the word pussy out to be the most objectionable part of the post. Writing pv$$y is just self parody. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/87 "2025-06-06T17:51:07Z")
It is. And particularly loud parody. Doubly awkward that the standard substitute symbol for “S” is a currency symbol which drags in the baggage of commercial sex to boot. But that much at least isn’t directly his fault. But what about the rather ubiquitous use of pron or pr0n around here? Ostensibly to help it get past filters at people’s workplaces, but is that really a useful thing in 2025? Or is it an anachronistic habit? Or someone demonstrating their own acquired discomfort with the idea of confronting pornography straight on with a straight face? Hey, if I say that three times quickly will that summon some? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/88 "2025-06-06T17:56:33Z")
I feel like the dollar signs were intentional, I’ve said before that I find his posting to almost be “in character.” As for the pr0n thing, I think it came from trying to get past filters but is used almost ironically here. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/89 "2025-06-06T19:42:02Z")
> [@](#): > > For many years, way before the Me Too movement, people have suggested that “Blazing Saddles” would never be green-lit, no less released, in the 2020s. I am sick to death of ignorant people saying this. You “can’t” make Blazing Saddles again because it wouldn’t make sense now. It was a parody of something that no longer exists, largely because of Blazing Saddles. > [@](#): > > That’s a shame. We need that kind of mirror to be held up to our collective faces. > [@](#): > > I’d like to think that the SDMB remains one of those mirrors. You mean shit like [this](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-will-smith-punched-chris-rock-at-the-oscars-last-night/961826/387)? Nah. I prefer to keep things as they are now. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/90 "2025-06-06T20:03:33Z")
And there it is and it’s pretty clear that mirror was for some faces more than others. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/91 "2025-06-06T23:02:50Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > As for the pr0n thing, I think it came from trying to get past filters but is used almost ironically here. Change “here” to “on a large percentage of the entire internet”. ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/92 "2025-06-06T23:07:29Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > “on a large percentage of the entire internet” What? There’s more out there than the Straight Dope? What for? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/93 "2025-06-06T23:19:55Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I am sick to death of ignorant people saying this. You “can’t” make Blazing Saddles again because it wouldn’t make sense now. It was a parody of something that no longer exists, largely because of Blazing Saddles. There’s a whole video essay on this by Lindsay Ellis. [https://youtu.be/62cPPSyoQkE?si=LgwPlsK\_GhtYs1Eo](https://youtu.be/62cPPSyoQkE?si=LgwPlsK_GhtYs1Eo) But also I recently responded to this in the mini-rants Pit thread. I watch a lot of comedy, especially stand-up. It’s busy being offensive in its own way, I promise. > [@June, no, NOTHING! (Monthly Mini-Rants)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/june-no-nothing-monthly-mini-rants/1019081/65): > > …If you think offensive statements are no longer a part of comedy, you are completely out of touch with modern-day comedy. > > I, for my part, fucking love comedy. In the last two days alone, I have heard: > > -gay jokes > -trans jokes > -Jewish pedophile jokes (it was Ira Glass!) > -jokes making fun of women who shop at Trader Joe’s > -in that vein, lots of jokes at the expense of liberals > > I just don’t know what to tell these people other than, “You’re full of shit.” > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Something nobody else has mentioned: Not only has the world changed, and become more conscious of casual slurs aimed at [whoever], but we’re all 20 years older than we were. > > The kinds of things I’d say and do in my 20s, 40s, and now 60s are different. Just due to changes in me, completely ignoring insofar as possible, the changes in the society I’m embedded in. This is a really good point, and I have to think about it. And also about like, being the change we need to see in the world. So maybe I’ll start a sex thread sometime, because human sexuality is a subject I find endlessly fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/94 "2025-06-06T23:22:46Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > There’s a whole video essay on this by Lindsay Ellis. > > [https://youtu.be/62cPPSyoQkE?si=LgwPlsK\_GhtYs1Eo](https://youtu.be/62cPPSyoQkE?si=LgwPlsK_GhtYs1Eo) It’s an excellent video and that’s where I got the concept in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/95 "2025-06-06T23:25:04Z")
Of a certain age. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/96 "2025-06-06T23:26:57Z")
Sucked right in again. I really wish she was still on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/97 "2025-06-06T23:32:42Z")
> [@June, no, NOTHING! (Monthly Mini-Rants)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/june-no-nothing-monthly-mini-rants/1019081/65): > > If you think offensive statements are no longer a part of comedy, you are completely out of touch with modern-day comedy. There have been several discussions on here which made a strong case that _all_ comedy has an element of meanness. Not the same thing as offensiveness, but close. IIRC the only exception was puns. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/98 "2025-06-06T23:57:50Z")
That’s a bit of a stretch. A skeleton walks into a bar. “Gimme a beer and a mop.” ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2025, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/99 "2025-06-07T00:06:00Z")
I agree it’s a strong assertion. One of my favorite jokes is the true story of a photographer taking the faculty photo of the University of Cincinnati aerospace engineering department: “Mr. Armstrong, could you take one small step forward?” Not exactly a pun, but close. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2025, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175/100 "2025-06-07T01:39:19Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Sucked right in again. I really wish she was still on YouTube. Unfortunately, she was Cancelled for comparing _Raya and the Last Dragon_ to _Avatar: the Last Airbender_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/discussions-about-sex-where-to-draw-the-line/1018175.md?page=6)