SDMB Deathmatch:
Vimes vs. Granny Weatherwax
Granny - no matter how much Vimes prepares.
Granny vs. Batman
Granny - no matter how much Batman prepares.
Now, an interesting deathmatch would be:
Havelock Vetenari vs. Esmeralda Weatherwax
I think the Disc would break in two halves.
I suppose this is technically a highjack, but I Think Vetinari is a brilliant creation. i loved it when he left his office and got out in the field in Jingo. I’d really like to see a book narrated by Vetinari, though it’s possible that he’d lose the aura of inevitability if he were the focal character.
I can see being annoyed with Nanny, because she’ll want to help you no matter what.
Granny, on the other hand … if you were to tell her “back off, I know what I’m doing”:
The problem here is that both contestants would see that it was a DeathMatch, and promptly look around to see who was setting the whole thing up and what they were after. Then they would combine forces, without it looking like either one needed the help, mind you, and some imperious donkey would be prodded. 
And I loved his history in Nightwatch.
His juggling scene is one of my top five bits in Discworld.
(O.T. Hijack – your Username-- is it a Cordwainer Smith reference?)
What silenus said, though I suspect Vetinari would have seen the manipulation coming a mile away and quietly taken steps to fake being forced into the deathmatch just for the purpose of unveiling the interloper involved.
And as Sam Vimes would tell us, the proper term is almost “prod buttock.”
Dr. Fidelius, you get a cookie. It is a Cordwainer Smith reference. I wasn’t trying to be obscure, I just wanted to pay homage to a writer I enjoy who has been, IMHO, unjustly neglected. You and I may be the only people left in America who’ve read Mark Elf.
Is your user name an homage to Jack Vance?
Right in one. No one else here seems to have read the Lyonesse Trilogy, and I stopped trying to explain it about six years ago.
“Dr. Fidelius, Charlatan”
I read that. But it was a long time ago and there were so freakin’ many characters, not all of whom remained the same character from one end to the other, that I can’t even remember the main character changeling’s name.
I like them granting him three gifts, and the gifts they chose. Death with stage fright was a nice touch.
If I was going to make a Discworld movie, I wouldn’t use an existing book to adapt, but create a whole new story, so I could weave in as many of the popular characters, in some small or large way, as I could. And one of the things that I would do is have Granny come up against Vetinari.