# Displaying my brightly colored head-crest **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491 "2000-04-26T21:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/1 "2000-04-26T21:01:00Z")
I have this dream. I’m being dragged along some wilderness trail by some nature loving Berkeley college girl, whom I’m probably trying to get into the over pocketed kaki pants of. Exhausted, I stopped by the creek to wrench off my $20 Payless hiking boots and soak my feet. Mercifully, before I’m forced to continue on, I choke to death on a Powerbar and keel over into the stream. My flesh decomposes and my bones, absorbing the minerals in the creek bed, ossify. Sixty five million years later (after the odd Ice Age or two) my fossilized remains are found by a paleontologist of the insect-like Bee People. Slowly, delicately, he liberates my bones from the surrounding rock using only an antenna brush and thorax pick. Once inside the Bee Museum of Natural History my skeleton is arranged in a dramatic battle scene depicting a savage life-or-death struggle with my natural prey–the skeleton of a wooley Holstein cow, which rears up on it’s hind legs and bears it’s fangs! My razor sharp mandibles (in actuality my scapula (or shoulder blades) which are mistakenly mounted on either side of my skull by a Bee scientist who believes them mandibles) are poised to rip out my foe’s throat! In the background there are beautiful oil paintings depicting events of my everyday life: Displaying my brightly colored head-crest to attract a mate, regurgitating a paper-like substance to build my hive, caring for the larvae, etc. Down below, a little bee-kid clutching a stuffed Inky toy looks up at the giant skeleton towering over him. “It’s not as good as in the movies”… ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/2 "2000-04-26T21:28:00Z")
Well, yeah, everybody has that dream. I can never remember what the cow says the next morning. Seriously, I was only popping in here to say the obvious: “We’ve discovered the missing Ink!” ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/3 "2000-04-26T23:24:00Z")
Inky, yer buzzalicious! * * * The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/4 "2000-04-27T03:38:00Z")
Don’t forget the little sign next to the exhibit: Their brains were small and they died. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/5 "2000-04-27T03:43:00Z")
Don’t forget the little sign next to the exhibit: Their brains were small and they died. ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/6 "2000-04-27T07:28:00Z")
Inky, you rule. No, seriously. I’m laughing my ass off here. – Sylence * * * You need Degas to make De Van Gogh. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/7 "2000-04-27T15:39:00Z")
Groan… Very punny Cher, very punny. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/8 "2000-04-28T13:52:00Z")
Well, now, that is funny enough to deserve a bump. Hold onto your head crest… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/9 "2000-04-28T13:56:00Z")
Oh darn. I wandered in here thinking Inky was looking for a mate. Guess I’ll just move along now. But that is a lovely head crest, BTW. * * * Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/10 "2000-04-28T14:00:00Z")
Heh… I’ve wondered about that myself. There’s plenty of room for error, of course. They might think we produced eggs. They might think the male penis was actually a sort of fighting horn, which became erect when necessary. O MAN. I’m knocking this off right now. The mental images I’m getting are just too weird… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/11 "2000-04-28T14:09:00Z")
Um, Coldfire, we do produce eggs. And the penis would long since have decayed if we’re talking fossils. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/12 "2000-04-28T14:13:00Z")
Well duh. I meant exterior eggs, like a bird or reptile. And I suppose (given the odd two ice ages, as per the OP) a frozen specimen could be able to still have a penis. But hey, go ahead, destroy my little fantasy here 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/displaying-my-brightly-colored-head-crest/16491/13 "2000-04-28T14:18:00Z")
With my luck they’d stick my bones on a crapper. “Observe the Sailor King upon his throne…” * * * Guest contributor Straight Dope Science Advisory Board [My 15 minutes of fame](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mkiwi.html)