# Disturbing Fortune Cookies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 7, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363 "2002-04-07T20:37:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AnnaLucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@AnnaLucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaLucretia)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/41 "2002-04-11T14:28:24Z")
“Smile when you’re ready”. I had no idea what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/42 "2002-04-11T15:29:45Z")
I have one here that is great for the SDMB: > [@](#): > > 🙂 Ignorance never settles a question It came with the smilie. A strange one that I once got was: > [@](#): > > You will soon receive an unusual gift. Unusual to who? ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/43 "2002-04-11T18:55:32Z")
My entire table got fortune cookies printed in spanish… …the restuarant was in Southeast Virginia. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/44 "2002-04-11T19:07:52Z")
incubus and lieu, you are both very very evil. And funny. Dave Letterman got a fake one once that read “PAY AND GET OUT, ROUND EYES!” Hee hee. I get very disturbed if I feel my husband has reached for the fortune cookie that was meant for me. Mayhap I need to get a life. ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/45 "2002-04-11T19:48:04Z")
Actually **Cranky** , I just got one that was meant for you- it says “Cranky, beware the BK onion rings…” does this mean anything to you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/46 "2002-04-11T20:16:55Z")
It means in 5 hours everyone around her will have a nose like Michael Jackson’s. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/47 "2002-04-11T21:29:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheNerd \* > \*\*\ > After that, the oddest was probably: “The laws sometimes sleep, but never die” \*\* How funny! I have that very same fortune taped to my monitor right now. I work in a law firm and I found it fitting, somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/48 "2002-04-13T18:14:20Z")
I just got one a couple of days ago: > [@](#): > > Things are not always what they seem. Great, and now the “dog” is looking at me in a very creepy manner. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/49 "2002-04-13T20:23:19Z")
I’m surprised no one else has mentioned “Help, I’m being held captive in a Chinese fortune cookie factory”. ---
**Author:** ![Maragold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Maragold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maragold)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/50 "2002-04-14T05:05:27Z")
Circa 1982, my fortune was dull, and my date, whom I did not know well, looked bored. So I re-read it, acting surprised. He looks at me, sez “What does it say?” I looked behind me for a suitable guy, and said, “That cop over there wrote ‘Meet me outside in ten minutes!’” Date says “G_ **N NERVE! PIG B** _D” and lunges out of his chair. “No, no, I was kidding!” He had to read the fortune before he believed me. Even then he went on a Pit-level rant about how cops were the embodiment of evil, date-stealing dogs, etc. Yikes. I have not played a practical joke on anyone, ever, since. Still like Chinese food, however, and agree empty cookies are creepy. When my son got a dud, to contain the trauma I told him “That means you can wish for anything you want!!!” He bought it. He’s a good little noodle-eatin’ boy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/51 "2002-04-14T13:21:28Z")
“The night-time is meant for” I think this was to give me license for whatever. I no longer have the fortune. Chrome ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/52 "2002-04-14T23:55:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RadioWave \* > \*\*True Fortune Cookie message typo: > > “You will soon gain the respect of your pears.” > > [/FONT][/SIZE] \*\* Orange you glad you cracked open that cookie? What, like none of you weren’t thinking of a fruity pun… > [@](#): > > YOU HAVE HAD A LONG - TERM STIMULATION RELATIVE TO BUSINESS" Someone slept with someone to get cough ahead at their job. ---
**Author:** ![Sephiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@Sephiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sephiroth)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/53 "2002-04-15T04:11:46Z")
A friend of mine once got one that said something to the effect of “You or a friend will marry soon.” Within a month a mutual friend of ours was dating someone new, within about three, he was engaged. I don’t think we ever he told him about the fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363/54 "2002-04-15T04:56:14Z")
My SO and I have been discussing the possibility of reproducing lately. We had Chinese about 2 weeks ago and my fortune was “God has given you a special blessing”. :eek: His was something like “If you don’t ask, who will?” 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/disturbing-fortune-cookies/102363.md?page=2)