# Divorce and Custody **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 13, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519 "2010-11-13T02:32:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/61 "2010-11-17T21:52:33Z")
> [@Wilbo523](#): > > My ex and I share 50/50 physical custody of our son, and have for the last 9 years since he was in 1st grade. We almost switch every other night, as that is what my son wanted. We have not lived in the same school district since we separated and divorced. We have made it work, because that’s what is in the best interest of my son. Yes as he got older, sleep-overs at friends houses, etc. cut into the time we had with him, but it pretty much evens out over time. My ex have not always gotten along with each other, but we both love our son, and do what is best for him. > > I would expect that most people that fight against 50/50 physical custody do so more out of resentment toward their ex than what they believe is in the best interest of the kid. Or the believe that the constant shuffling back and forth is too much of a hassle. You just have to work at it and make sacrifices for your kids. Yep, no doubt it can work. But it isn’t easy, its going to involve sacrifice. I’ve never personally seen it work, but I believe you have it working - and good for you (sincerely, it has to be a pain in the butt and you both do it anyway). ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/62 "2010-11-17T22:11:18Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Yep, no doubt it can work. But it isn’t easy, its going to involve sacrifice. I’ve never personally seen it work, but I believe you have it working - and good for you (sincerely, it has to be a pain in the butt and you both do it anyway). Yes it is a pain in the butt lots of times. Only 2.5 years left. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/63 "2010-11-17T22:32:17Z")
> [@Kearsen](#): > > This already falls in line to my “that’s the way it used to be scenario”, why do the courts (even upon hearing evidence to the contrary) refuse to grant Dad’s full residential rights (unless Mom is a crack ho) > > Again, not always, but it does seem to be the default. Because the mom is the one who is already taking care of the kids. Not always, but it does seem to be the default. ---
**Author:** ![Kearsen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kearsen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kearsen)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/64 "2010-11-18T20:40:18Z")
Has anyone found evidence or studies done (non-biased) about joint physical custody? ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/65 "2010-11-19T11:16:49Z")
As a father who loves his 7 year old daughter desperately, and probably going to be going through a similar situation soon, I can’t imagine a scenario where she would be away from her mother most nights. Traditional gender roles? Yes. Gender roles largely still followed? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2010, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/66 "2010-11-19T11:18:29Z")
And to follow up on child support, you will always pay to the custodial parent. Always. If you make $20k/yr and she makes $6 million/yr, due to the “income shares” model, your contribution will be substantially the same as if she made $20k/yr as well. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519/67 "2010-11-22T17:03:38Z")
The court defers to the mother because, chances are, before the divorce raised it’s ugly head, she was their primary caregiver. Yes, there are exceptions. But usually, especially if there is more than one child, it’s the mother who stays at home. Now you find yourself in divorce court, the first thing they will see is that this was his chosen primary caregiver for his children for X years. Less change being better, absent abuse, it’s easy to see why the court favours the wife. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorce-and-custody/560519.md?page=3)