# Divorced = Single, right? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871 "2013-08-22T14:28:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/21 "2013-08-22T16:39:16Z")
Long term, not married? Consort. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/22 "2013-08-22T16:42:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Can you call her your Old Lady? šŸ˜ƒ Not if I ever wanna walk upright again.šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/23 "2013-08-22T16:49:48Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > Is suppose if the form you are filling out has the options ā€œdivorcedā€ and ā€œsingleā€, then divorced would be the more precise term. > > However, to my mind ā€œdivorcedā€ is a subset of ā€œsingleā€. This. There is nothing wrong with your answer unless your friends were talking about setting you up with someone. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/24 "2013-08-22T17:01:49Z")
Since this is a matter of social conventions, itā€™s better suited to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/25 "2013-08-22T17:16:04Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > OK, just checking. This had nothing to do with dating (Iā€™m happy in a long term relationship that will never be marriage). The question actually was directed toward my relationship with my gf. Person asked, ā€œare you married?ā€ I replied that I was single and then correctness-man jumped in. > > In another situation, at work a woman told me she was very good friends with my wife (she was looking for preferential economic treatment). I looked at her and said, ā€œyou must be mistaken, Iā€™m not married!ā€šŸ˜ƒ I donā€™t think single is the right word to use there. Single means ā€œnot marriedā€ on a census form, but it implies ā€œNot in a relationshipā€ socially. If my long-term, live-in SO described himself as ā€œsingleā€, Iā€™d be taken aback. Honestly, my own need to resolve this and provide some sort of semantic precision to my life was a major reason why we formalized the relationship with a wedding. > [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > I always answer divorced but she couldnā€™t have kids and thank God because Iā€™d be raising them. šŸ™‚ Getā€™s a lot of other questions out of the way up front and infers that she was a undependable wench (which she was) without having to actually say it. If I had just met you, that would imply to me that you still have serious unresolved issues more than anything. Why do I need to know that your ex was not dependable? Or her private medical details? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/26 "2013-08-22T17:22:53Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Honestly, my own need to resolve this and provide some sort of semantic precision to my life was a major reason why we formalized the relationship with a wedding. Yep, my gf and I would likely marry just to simplify explanations if not for the fact that we both had loooong, less than ideal marriages previously that soured us on the idea of marriage.šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/27 "2013-08-22T18:02:44Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > If I had just met you, that would imply to me that you still have serious unresolved issues more than anything. Why do I need to know that your ex was not dependable? Or her private medical details? Because the follow up is always did you have kids? This answers that question while explaining that its not like I didnā€™t just not like kids. I do have a grown daughter but not from my ex. Eveyone has issues, when you get older you realize that and move past them. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/28 "2013-08-22T18:58:44Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > - married = not available, except for sleezy affairs Thatā€™s awfully judgmental. Why canā€™t I just have very nice and tasteful affairs?šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/29 "2013-08-22T19:05:47Z")
If you told me you were single, but had been divorced I would think that you are using the word single to actively avoid letting me know you had been divorced. Just my opinion, but hadnā€™t been said yet ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/30 "2013-08-22T19:09:30Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > Personally, I prefer to use the term ā€œOlā€™ ball and chainā€. šŸ™‚ As my uncle (a real ā€˜dirty old manā€™) says: ā€œThatā€™s all right as long as you get more ball than chain.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/31 "2013-08-22T19:17:17Z")
Another vote for ā€œsingleā€ being good enough in 95% of situations (ā€œHey, Famous Actress could go for meā€¦ Iā€™m single!ā€ or ā€œNothing wrong with me getting a studio apartment since Iā€™m singleā€)) with the big distinction being dating. Then ā€œDivorcedā€ has implications that ā€œSingleā€ doesnā€™t carry. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/32 "2013-08-22T19:33:44Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > It might be a faux pas on a dating site where they have a separate category for ā€œdivorcedā€ implying that anyone reporting as ā€œsingleā€ has never been married. In most other contexts, no. Not all of them do. Match does, OKCupid doesnā€™t. On OKcupid, youā€™re either Married, Single or Seeing someone. There used to also be an option for Available as well. On the one hand, you need to keep in mind that OKC is designed for more then just Single men and women looking to connect with other single women and men for a long term relationship. OTOH, it would be nice if there was a place to put it in, when I made my profile, I did my best to subtly drop in that I was divorced. I just mentioned somewhere that my daughter is with my ex-wife about half the time. Thatā€™s the only mention of divorce or my ex in my profile, but as long as you read my entire profile youā€™ll know Iā€™m divorced. ---
**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/33 "2013-08-22T19:49:16Z")
Iā€™m looking for my next manpanion. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/34 "2013-08-22T19:55:02Z")
Iā€™m twice divorced, and if I were any more single I would be a fraction. Iā€™ve never had children, though, and I literally could not get a hold of either of my former spouses if I had to; I havenā€™t seen or heard from either of them for over eight years. If I had any lingering entanglements from either of my marriages, I might not be quite so quick to say that divorced equaled single in my case. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/35 "2013-08-22T19:56:58Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > If you told me you were single, but had been divorced I would think that you are using the word single to actively avoid letting me know you had been divorced. > > Just my opinion, but hadnā€™t been said yet Yes, but does it carry a negative significance for you? Once you get past a certain age, if someone is ā€œsingleā€ you can just assume there is a high likelihood they were married at some point in the past. For me, if they were never married, I would find that to be points against. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/36 "2013-08-22T19:58:19Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Now we need a better term for Significant Other. > > Iā€™m 55, my SO is 54. It feels awkward calling her my gf, but even more awkward using SO. I stay away from the ā€œWā€ word. Whore? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/37 "2013-08-22T20:32:55Z")
Well, there is also widowhood; I have a female friend whose husband died about six years ago, leaving her with three minor children. She had occasion to be quoted in the local paper about something not related to her marital status, and they referred to her as a ā€œsingle mother.ā€ She was very upset. And I donā€™t think she has any moral objections to unwed motherhood, but that reporter DID screw up and in some contexts there IS a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/38 "2013-08-22T21:06:40Z")
Well Iā€™m divorced, but Iā€™m also married. So itā€™s not as simple as it seems. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/39 "2013-08-22T21:12:10Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > If you told me you were single, but had been divorced I would think that you are using the word single to actively avoid letting me know you had been divorced. > > Just my opinion, but hadnā€™t been said yet Wow. Iā€™m 55. Anyone looking at me and hearing that Iā€™m single is gonna _know_ Iā€™ve been married. Shit, man! ETA: that _looks_ kinda conceited, but seriously? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871/40 "2013-08-22T21:13:59Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Well Iā€™m divorced, but Iā€™m also married. So itā€™s not as simple as it seems. šŸ™‚ The first Mr Cherry has no idea what he missed out on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/divorced-single-right/666871.md?page=3)